Horrible Marriage Proposal?

[ac_claire]

Now ---- to counter that ---- my dear husband went down on one knee after Easter Vigil Mass when he was received into the Church, right in front of the Tabernacle (old Church in England, in a chapel off to the side of the altar), and asked me to marry him. I went down on my knees in front of him and said yes with tears in my eyes. It could not have been more perfect. We had been dating long distance for eight months, him in England, me here in the US. I had been in England for a week to meet him in person for the first time. We were engaged for nearly two years before marriage due to discernment, and immigration paper work. We will celebrate four very happy years of marriage this year!

Sigh. *Love *that story!

 

[reaganjn]

Risky, but if both people understand what it means to be married and that love pimarily and act of will, I see no problem with it. The risk is knowing that your spouse to be thinks this way. But there is a reason why arranged marriages work in a lot of cultures. People understand what they are getting into ahead of time.
Used to work with a guy from india. He took 2 weeks vacation to go back to India to get married. Come to find out, he had never met her. Their parents arranged the marriage. Can you imagine that girl’s fear that not only was she marrying someone she didn’t know but right after the marriage she would be moving half way around the world with him?
We gave him a lot of grief and teasing before the event. Fast forward a couple of months to a company picnic, he shows up with his new bride and she is drop-dead gorgeuous. A lot of young guys in the office wanted his parents to arrange a marraige for them.
They have been happily married for around 10 years now.

i just want to make sure that everyone knows that my husband and i are NOT in an arranged marriage…we met online. we met on our own free will.

 

[Kit15]

My husband and I joke about how he never actually asked me to marry him.

He had the ring, was on bended knee and he was shaking harder than I’ve ever seen him shake in his life. He was so nervous he couldn’t say anything. He just knelt there shaking in silence.

Then I finally pulled my head out of the “omgomgomgomgomg” clouds and said “Yes.”

And he let out this huge sigh of relief “Oh thank God!”

 

[onegreenclover]

So then what happens if you think that the proposal was genuine but you said yes? Then you regret it because it already happened but it was NOTHING that you asked for? That’s life?

 

[AdriannaJean]

Two scenarios here:

1. My friend’s grandpa was driving the buggy home from Church with his girlfriend and her family back to their farms. They’d been dating for a while and so he leaned over and said “Well, guess its about time we got hitched isn’t it?” He wasn’t exactly the romantic type lol.
2. My (then) boyfriend and I were fighting, and when I say fighting I mean screaming, shoving, swearing, the whole nine yards. I was just about to storm out of the house after I had told him that we were over when he grabbed my hand, fell to his knees and asked me to marry him. I always thought I’d feel happy when I was proposed to, but instead I felt what I can only describe as pure dread. We broke up about a month later…shudders

 

[phil8888]

some people get arranged marriages and they don’t have proposals and stuff, and they’re perfectly happy.

as for a good proposal, if the girl doesn’t cry and get extremely excited and maybe pee a little bit, then you PROBABLY didn’t put in quite enough effort. good attempt though. keep trying!!!

 

[phil8888]

Two scenarios here:

1. My friend’s grandpa was driving the buggy home from Church with his girlfriend and her family back to their farms. They’d been dating for a while and so he leaned over and said “Well, guess its about time we got hitched isn’t it?” He wasn’t exactly the romantic type lol.
2. My (then) boyfriend and I were fighting, and when I say fighting I mean screaming, shoving, swearing, the whole nine yards. I was just about to storm out of the house after I had told him that we were over when he grabbed my hand, fell to his knees and asked me to marry him. I always thought I’d feel happy when I was proposed to, but instead I felt what I can only describe as pure dread. We broke up about a month later…shudders

lol what the

 

[SwizzleStick]

…‘That is TV. No man would ever spend that much on a ring unless he was sure of a yes. Usually they talk about it first and the woman knows it is coming’ …

That is what we did. We talked about it first and when he knew I would marry him, we went ring shopping together to pick out a simple wedding band and engagement ring for me and to also look at gold wedding bands for him so we had an idea of what he wanted and would wear. Then at some point, we made a dinner date to become officially engaged. He chose a very nice, romantic restaurant to officially “propose” (he kinda already did when we were discussing marriage) and I officially accepted his proposal and his ring. Then we had a lovely first dinner together as an engaged couple. We were married seven months later.

 

[SwizzleStick]

…as for a good proposal, if the girl doesn’t cry and get extremely excited and maybe pee a little bit, then you PROBABLY didn’t put in quite enough effort. good attempt though. keep trying!!!

I think that depends on the “girl.” Maybe it is because we were a bit older than some couples, but I did none of those things. I was excited and happy at the thought of facing a future with my husband, but I did not “get extremely excited” and we have been happily married for 15 years and I look forward to many, many more years together.

(Reading your post made me think of a Cocker Spaniel I knew, since she tended to cry, get extremely excited and pee a little bit whenever we visited. )

 

[Alexandra]

My dh and I met in July and went on one date and then nothing happened. We didn’t go out again. Then he asked me out over Labor Day weekend. We dated two weeks and then one day he asks me “How much should a guy spend on an engagement ring?” and that was it. We got married 3 months later and that was 21 years ago. We were in our 30’s.

 

[admonsta]

My boyfriend and I had been talking about marriage for a while, and I suggested rather strongly that I wasn’t going to wait much longer if he didn’t get his act together and ask. He said he’d do it when the time was perfect. He was very nervous about any life changes, but I was getting impatient and ready to get on with the next bit. Eventually we were down at the beach, watching the sunset. I kind of figured if this wasn’t the “perfect” moment, nothing was.
He stood behind me in silence for a while, then:

Him: “We’ve been going out now for, um, a long time” (Oh, really?)
Him: “and, um, well, I think, like, um, maybe, uh, it’s perhaps, um, time to, uhh…”
Me: “Yeah?”
Him: “Well, um, maybe it’s time to, well, um, you know…”
Me: “No.”
Him: “Um, well, maybe we should, um, uh… takethenextstep.”

(Pause)

Me: “Are you asking me to marry you?”
Him: “Well, you know, um I… sort of”

At this point I laughed and laughed. And accepted. I still don’t understand why it was so hard when we’d been together for six years and we’d spoken about marriage often. I’ve given him heaps about it ever since, but I don’t expect him to fix it. It was perfect.

Married 8 years, five kids, going strong.

 

[tweetymom]

Met on the computer, not dating thingy. I was 62 he 63 and after a few times together I asked him to marry me and he said what!!! Been married for 9 wonderful years

 

[CatholicGirl19]

funny story, my parents had been dating for a few years and well my dad had talk about marriage but never really asked “will you marry me?”

so my mom said to him one day, “Ok, ether we’re getting married sometime this year or I’m joining the air force!” turns out my dad had just assumed that my mom knew they were going to get married because he had told her brother!

well things worked out for them (needless to say)

almost 30 years later and still together!

 

[insideitall]

My parents met through a mutual friend. They were dating for about 6 months, and then my dad found out his job was being transferred 1000 miles away. They were talking on the phone one day and he asked her if she was going to move down there with him, and she said “only if we get married.” I think he said something like “uh, well, I guess this is a proposal.” They were married 4 months later and moved right after. My mother rolled her eyes when she told me this.

I thought this story was hilarious. I love my dad.

 

[Monsterkittie]

Bit messy…

We agreed to marriage in January…he bought me the ring in September…but we weren’t going to tell our parents until after October (much craziness at work for me in the heart of football season…)
But we couldn’t wait, so we cooked dinner for my parents one night. Towards the end of dinner, he kinda blurted out that we wanted to get married. Mom choked on her tortellini…

Next day, time to tell his mom. We went to their house for dinner. Same as the day before: towards the end of dinner, he kinda blurted out that we wanted to get married. His mom choked on her veggies…

sigh Hopefully no one will choke on a roll at the wedding.

 

[StJudePray4Me]

My boyfriend and I had been talking about marriage for a while, and I suggested rather strongly that I wasn’t going to wait much longer if he didn’t get his act together and ask. He said he’d do it when the time was perfect. He was very nervous about any life changes, but I was getting impatient and ready to get on with the next bit. Eventually we were down at the beach, watching the sunset. I kind of figured if this wasn’t the “perfect” moment, nothing was.
He stood behind me in silence for a while, then:

Him: “We’ve been going out now for, um, a long time” (Oh, really?)
Him: “and, um, well, I think, like, um, maybe, uh, it’s perhaps, um, time to, uhh…”
Me: “Yeah?”
Him: “Well, um, maybe it’s time to, well, um, you know…”
Me: “No.”
Him: “Um, well, maybe we should, um, uh… takethenextstep.”

(Pause)

Me: “Are you asking me to marry you?”
Him: “Well, you know, um I… sort of”

At this point I laughed and laughed. And accepted. I still don’t understand why it was so hard when we’d been together for six years and we’d spoken about marriage often. I’ve given him heaps about it ever since, but I don’t expect him to fix it. It was perfect.

Married 8 years, five kids, going strong.

I love this!

I have to say, although I am a woman, I totally empathize with the men in this situation.

I mean, talk about putting yourself out there, soooooo vulnerable. Even if you are 99.9% sure your sweetie will say yes, it must be somewhat terrifying to ask the question and risk that .01% chance of being rejected!!!

My DH & I had talked about marriage for a long time, but I was getting a bit anxious, as I had moved 5 hours away from all my family & friends, and had been living in my little bachelorette apartment for almost 3 years. I started to wonder if he’d changed his mind, so one night I told him, “If you don’t want to marry me, please tell me now, so I can go home to my family.”

He bought the ring the next day! 14 years ago we were married.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Heh. I have two.

1. I work in a store. A customer walked up to me and asked for several books. I had helped him a few times in the past, but we had NEVER had a real conversation. NEVER. While I was looking the books up in the computer, he (wearing, incidentally, a regrettable combination of SHORT cut-off jean shorts and a ragged, dirty wifebeater) asked me to marry him on the grounds that his 12-year-old son (I was 20 at the time) needed a stepmom and “you seem nice.” I thought he was joking. Sadly, he was serious. shudder
2. This one didn’t happen to me, thank goodness. A friend had a guy she had known for a few months–but they’d never actually been on a date, mind you–propose to her in public…and in fluent elvish. The friend managed to come up with a polite way of saying “no” (she’s a better woman than I am, as I don’t think I could keep a straight face), at which point the man actually said, “oh, well…do you think your sister might be interested?”

 

[msumissa]

There are stories out there like this one, I’m sure, but a friend of mine, her boyfriend went to a lot of trouble to make some home made chocolate pudding and he put the ring in it.

They were eating, and eventually after the meal, he realised she hadn’t found the ring! She’d swallowed it.

The next day, he came back round with a hot cup of coffee which he’d put laxatives and stool softeners in. (Seriously).

And sure enough, by the end of the evening she needed to “go”.

Long and short of it, he stood outside the door once the noises had finished and said “you see anything you like?” (Again, seriously!!!)

And she was like “I see a ring in my… you SOB!”

She made him come in and fish it out!!

That was back in 2002 and they’re still married, though this story was NOT told at the wedding reception.

Not sure I would be marrying someone who drugged me…

 

[defenderoftruth]

Well we were “naughty” and I got pregnant, we knew we were going to be married before this though (talking) so one day I asked “are we going to get married?” and he said “yes” then he asked me in a very normal conversational way “will you marry me?” We’ve been happily married 7 years. (well besides the conversion argument )

 

[MrSylvester]

my hubby proposed to my after ONLY knowing me for 3 days. We were on top of Signal Mountain in Dunlap Tn, and he asked me to marry him. The next day he took me to pick out a ring. We just celebrated 10 years. We have 2 amazing, smart, beautiful daughters together. and NO I do NOT regret anything. Yes, we had some rough troubled waters here and there but it was/is all worth it. He is the most amazing man, husband, daddy, and best friend I and the girls could ever have.

LOL! Not menaing to sound rude or anything but he must have been some winner for you to accept his proposal after 3 days! Congratulations.