Horrible suffering

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Vani

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I am asking for prayers because I am going through horrible sufferings due to my ex-husband. I lived with him in isolation for 5 years in which he treated however he wished. I had no family to protect me from him. I left 2 years ago to start a new life but everything went poorly. My husband has called me everyday since I arrived in my new place and I grew to rely on his calls since I have had a hard time starting up a new life here. My hustband would never help me financially, never shared the wealth he has with me but always told me he loved me. Sadly everyday he also argued with me and drove me crazy. Even so, I began to forgive him and consider him a friend. I began to open my heart. I wondered if God meant up to be together. Now I recently experiened a horrible personal loss and tragedy. My whole life has been destroyed by a personal tragedy which I will not detail here.

My ex-husband was not there for me, he has abandoned me as a friend, he dropped me when I was down. He has joined a wild Pentacostal church and has exhibited true hostility to me that seems almost Satanic and sadistic. The pastor of this church is an African man who is very charismatic. The people in his church are all imigrants who look up to my husband because of his money, race and position in life. They call him Father (he is 32 years old). I was with my husband for 12 years. He just ate my life alive and caused me so much humiliation, loss and pain. God help me. I feel that I have been run over by a demon. After devoting my life to my ex-husband, we are not even friends,no kindness, no warmth, no humanity, no mutual respect. Nothing. He treats me less than dirt, insulting me, hanging up on me, etc. I can not understand how I could have been lead to such a HORRIBLE HUSBAND. I am begging for prayers to get through this brutal rejection. I need help to get through this break-up, to forget his cruelty and meanness, to overcome the loss of 12 years of my life, to go on. Please,please fellow Catholics pray for me in my hour of need to strenghten me as I feel useless and lost. I have prayed to God to die, that He take my life, I am so tired of a life of suffering.
 
Prayer for Peace

*Almighty God, in whose hands lies the destiny of men and nations, Let not the hopes of men perish, nor the sacrifices of men be in vain. O holy and life-giving Spirit, enable us by thy grace to root out from our common life the bitterness of ancient wrongs and the thirst to avenge the betrayals of long ago. Save us from the tyranny of history and set us free in a new obedience to serve each other in the present hour. Accepting the redemption wrought for us, we believe that all our sins of yesterday are covered by thy mercy; Grant us therefore grace and courage to give and to receive the forgiveness which alone can heal today’s wounds. Draw us, O Lord, towards loving kindness and guide us into the way of peace. *
 
Vani said:
I am asking for prayers because I am going through horrible sufferings due to my ex-husband. I lived with him in isolation for 5 years in which he treated however he wished. I had no family to protect me from him. I left 2 years ago to start a new life but everything went poorly. My husband has called me everyday since I arrived in my new place and I grew to rely on his calls since I have had a hard time starting up a new life here. My hustband would never help me financially, never shared the wealth he has with me but always told me he loved me. Sadly everyday he also argued with me and drove me crazy. Even so, I began to forgive him and consider him a friend. I began to open my heart. I wondered if God meant up to be together. Now I recently experiened a horrible personal loss and tragedy. My whole life has been destroyed by a personal tragedy which I will not detail here.

My ex-husband was not there for me, he has abandoned me as a friend, he dropped me when I was down. He has joined a wild Pentacostal church and has exhibited true hostility to me that seems almost Satanic and sadistic. The pastor of this church is an African man who is very charismatic. The people in his church are all imigrants who look up to my husband because of his money, race and position in life. They call him Father (he is 32 years old). I was with my husband for 12 years. He just ate my life alive and caused me so much humiliation, loss and pain. God help me. I feel that I have been run over by a demon. After devoting my life to my ex-husband, we are not even friends,no kindness, no warmth, no humanity, no mutual respect. Nothing. He treats me less than dirt, insulting me, hanging up on me, etc. I can not understand how I could have been lead to such a HORRIBLE HUSBAND. I am begging for prayers to get through this brutal rejection. I need help to get through this break-up, to forget his cruelty and meanness, to overcome the loss of 12 years of my life, to go on. Please,please fellow Catholics pray for me in my hour of need to strenghten me as I feel useless and lost. I have prayed to God to die, that He take my life, I am so tired of a life of suffering.
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Lord, I lift up Vani to your loving arms that Veni may have peace and love in her life. Have mercy on her, and that with you, she will gain hope for the future.

Amen.
 
You are in my prayers. And please seek some professional help for yourself. You sound terribly depressed.
 
Dear Vani,

You have a friend in me now. More importantly, Jesus is your friend.
I heard a quote once, I think it was from Saint Teresa of Avila, That “God treats those closest to Him the worst”… that is… He allows them to suffer greately.
Trust in God’s providence that He will bring good out of all the evil you have endured.
I know it’s no fun and is difficult but I also know that it is our calling to learn to carry our crosses with resignation.

A Priest replied to me once when I complained about one of my crosses being so hard, “but then the reward would’nt be so great then!” This reply brought me a little consolation but more importantly, it give me the knowledge that I had to carry on in the battle if I wanted to go to Heaven.

I will be praying for and thinking of you. Also, know that you are not alone.
May God bless you! :crossrc:
 
Thank you for your prayers. It’s truly humiliating to have to post here about something so private. I turned to this site for help because I thought that only Catholics could understand my spiritual bewilderment. I thought that some prayers could help me get through this dark time. I felt I was fighting against a very dark force. I don’t have anything against the Pentecostal religion. I hope that my comments were not misconstrued by anyone.
 
Dear Vani, if, as it seems there is no hope for your marriage, I ask the Lord to help you to grow as a person, so that you are no longer defined by your past life and its unhealthy hold on you, and that God will work with you to help you to grow as the wonderful, unique human person God created you to be! And you are, sweetheart, but you have yet to discover this and respond to it.
With love, Trishie

Jesus I bring my sister Vani before You, and ask You to hug her, and to begin, and complete, her healing.
I ask You to lead her away and protect her from influences that crush this beloved child of the Father.

(Meanwhile, Jesus, please take her misguided husband into Your care, as only You can convert and save him.)
 
Confidence in God’s merciful love

Our God, You command that I forgive and rightly cherish myself. Like many people in human history, I often find it difficult to sincerely and consistently love the ‘self’ that I find mirrored in my consciousness. I know that You can bring me to appreciate the miracle and privilege of my existence!

How can I refuse to love what God loves! You treasure me, as You love and treasure each unique, human person that You create. Yet I need much grace to love this betrayer of my true being and purpose, myself! I betray Your loving creation of me by failing to be fully ‘the person I am created to be’ , and by failing in gratitude for the gift of myself.

You love each person so much that it led to the incarnation of Your divine Son, and to His redemption of humankind. Jesus is Your response to my betrayal of my destiny and me. Yet frequently I am unconvinced or indifferent before these astounding gifts of divine love for me and for every person!

Please give me grace to value each person as Your beloved and eternal gift. Inspire me with faith and gratitude for the gift of myself, for the lives of dear ones and of all people. Grant that these human gifts are shaped by Your love to become everlasting gifts to You, and through You, eternal gifts to each other person.

Through Jesus, You taught us that cheerful, loving mutual service of others leads to fulfilment of Your creative will. Therefore, give me grace to faithfully say ‘yes’ to Your loving purpose by active respect and charity to others and me.

Delight Yourself in me by forming me into the unselfish, joyful, helpful and prayerful person You dreamed me to be for You and others’ souls for time and eternity.
 
St Michael with your Angels, please protect, and intercede for Vani, and defeat the power of evil that threatens her,
and please also intercede for her husband and anyone else who may be drawn into the dangers of unlove and of any lack of humility.
Thank you, holy Angels
 
Vani

I just read your letter and it reaches me on many levels for many reasons, I suppose it’s because I’ve recently found out, for reasons I’ll perhaps go into at an another hour, that I have no relationship with my adult children. We’d been separated by divorce (not my choice) since 1990 when my ex and they moved to the east coast. (I was the best airport dad I could be.) Due to my becoming a paraplegic my daughter recently invited me to move to NC from out west, at which time we made the discovery. It’s been a terrible struggle on my own in a new state where I knew no one. However, the Lord was with me through what has been 15 months of one of the worst periods in my life (Viet Nam was another). One day I was able to offer a simple prayer, “Jesus help me.” And I was literally able to get out of my wheelchair and walk.
 
Simeon_Hovey said:
Vani

I just read your letter and it reaches me on many levels for many reasons, I suppose it’s because I’ve recently found out, for reasons I’ll perhaps go into at an another hour, that I have no relationship with my adult children. We’d been separated by divorce (not my choice) since 1990 when my ex and they moved to the east coast. (I was the best airport dad I could be.) Due to my becoming a paraplegic my daughter recently invited me to move to NC from out west, at which time we made the discovery. It’s been a terrible struggle on my own in a new state where I knew no one. However, the Lord was with me through what has been 15 months of one of the worst periods in my life (Viet Nam was another). One day I was able to offer a simple prayer, “Jesus help me.” And I was literally able to get out of my wheelchair and walk.
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Vani

Wish I could have been as succinct as those proceding me but it’s late and I’m tired. Jesus is with you and I hope you are able to feel the love that God has for all of us.
 
Vani,

I am sorry to hear things are not turning out the way that you would have liked and also for your loss, but I want you to believe that there is still hope for the future. Trust in Jesus.
I am sending you a hug :hug1: and praying for you …
 
Vani said:
I am asking for prayers because I am going through horrible sufferings due to my ex-husband. I lived with him in isolation for 5 years in which he treated however he wished. I had no family to protect me from him. I left 2 years ago to start a new life but everything went poorly. My husband has called me everyday since I arrived in my new place and I grew to rely on his calls since I have had a hard time starting up a new life here. My hustband would never help me financially, never shared the wealth he has with me but always told me he loved me. Sadly everyday he also argued with me and drove me crazy. Even so, I began to forgive him and consider him a friend. I began to open my heart. I wondered if God meant up to be together. Now I recently experiened a horrible personal loss and tragedy. My whole life has been destroyed by a personal tragedy which I will not detail here.

My ex-husband was not there for me, he has abandoned me as a friend, he dropped me when I was down. He has joined a wild Pentacostal church and has exhibited true hostility to me that seems almost Satanic and sadistic. The pastor of this church is an African man who is very charismatic. The people in his church are all imigrants who look up to my husband because of his money, race and position in life. They call him Father (he is 32 years old). I was with my husband for 12 years. He just ate my life alive and caused me so much humiliation, loss and pain. God help me. I feel that I have been run over by a demon. After devoting my life to my ex-husband, we are not even friends,no kindness, no warmth, no humanity, no mutual respect. Nothing. He treats me less than dirt, insulting me, hanging up on me, etc. I can not understand how I could have been lead to such a HORRIBLE HUSBAND. I am begging for prayers to get through this brutal rejection. I need help to get through this break-up, to forget his cruelty and meanness, to overcome the loss of 12 years of my life, to go on. Please,please fellow Catholics pray for me in my hour of need to strenghten me as I feel useless and lost. I have prayed to God to die, that He take my life, I am so tired of a life of suffering.
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God has not abandoned you and we won’t either! CAF loves you.
PRAYER OF SAINT EPHREM OF SYRIA
(In Honour Of Christ’s Passion)
I give You glory, O Christ,
because You, the Only-begotten,
the Lord of all,
underwent the death of the Cross
to free my sinful soul from the bonds of sin.
What shall I give to You, O Lord,
in return for all this kindness?

Glory to You, O Lord,
for Your love,
for Your mercy,
for Your patience.

Glory to You,
for forgiving us all our sins,
for coming to save our souls,
for Your incarnation in the Virgin’s womb.

Glory to You,
for Your bonds,
for receiving the cut of the lash,
for accepting mockery.

Glory to You,
for Your crucifixion,
for Your burial,
for Your resurrection.

Glory to You,
for Your resurrection,
for being preached to men,
for being taken up heaven.

Glory to You who sit at the Father’s right hand
and will return in glory.

Glory to You for willing that the sinner
be saved through Your great mercy and compassion.

PRAYER OF SAINT CLAUDE DE LA COLOMBIERE
A Despair Prayer.
Lord, I am in this world to show Your mercy to others.
Other people will glorify You
by making visible the power of Your grace
by their fidelity and constancy to You.
For my part I will glorify You
by making known how good You are to sinners,
that Your mercy is boundless
and that no sinner no matter how great his offences
should have reason to despair of pardon.
If I have grievously offended You, My Redeemer,
let me not offend You even more
by thinking that You are not kind enough to pardon Me.

Amen.
 
Thanks again for your prayers. I have advanced to the point of starting a 54 day Rosary to make things better and to make it through this tragedy. I’m on my second day. I pray to stop watching the clock, and accept my situation. I have prayed in my Church’s adoration chapel 2-4 hours per day. The weight is still heavy and I am walking around like war veteran. I can hardly speak to people and can not sleep at night. I have learned that one thing a Catholic should try to do is not complain. I pray to not focus on myself, not to be negative, have courage, hope and wisdom. Your prayers have sustained me against my enemies. I have also opened up to my Guardian Angel and asked him to help me to get through this, to sleep at night. etc.
God Bless to all
 
Vani said:
Thanks again for your prayers. I have advanced to the point of starting a 54 day Rosary to make things better and to make it through this tragedy. I’m on my second day. I pray to stop watching the clock, and accept my situation. I have prayed in my Church’s adoration chapel 2-4 hours per day. The weight is still heavy and I am walking around like war veteran. I can hardly speak to people and can not sleep at night. I have learned that one thing a Catholic should try to do is not complain. I pray to not focus on myself, not to be negative, have courage, hope and wisdom. Your prayers have sustained me against my enemies. I have also opened up to my Guardian Angel and asked him to help me to get through this, to sleep at night. etc.
God Bless to all
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Always remember that God is with you.
Maybe this prayer will help you. I dedicate this to you, Vani.

Prayer for Gods Guidance

Father in Heaven,
You made me Your child
and called me to walk in the Light of Christ.
Free me from darkness
and keep me in the Light of Your Truth.
The Light of Jesus has scattered
the darkness of hatred and sin.
Called to that Light,
I ask for Your guidance.
Form my life in Your Truth,
my heart in Your Love.
Through the Holy Eucharist,
give me the power of Your Grace
that I may walk in the Light of Jesus
and serve Him faithfully.

Amen.
 
Vani

I’m a disabled Vet from a spinal cord injury, a paraplegic, have been incapacitated since 2005 and have to deal with chronic/severe pain. I’ve considered suicide because of the pain but my will to survive is too strong. That and there is no way I could have made it without the help of Jesus, there is no doubt in my mind or soul about that.

In 2008 my adult daughter asked me to move from the west coast and come live near her in NC. The move came at a terrible burden and for reasons of her own she’s since abandonded me. (I will only say that talking with her has become like talking with her mom and in 12 years of marriage I never figured out how do to that; other than to accept that in any disagreement I was wrong. Though I do not disclaim my own contributions to the failure of the marriage; I will say that it was she who sought the divorce. Being in a no fault divorce state meant I had no choice in the matter. My reason for wanting to stay was soley for the sake of the children.)

About 4 - 6 weeks ago I was so low and dismal one early Sunday AM I don’t know why but these words came out of my mouth, “Lord help me.” and He did. I was actually able to drive to church that day and have begun making minor repairs/improvements to my house. All of the meds that clouded my mind greatly cleared up and have continued to do so. I’m still a paraplegic in chronic pain but life is manageable again, I have a ton of mail to go through, much business to catch up on, I become easily exhausted due to my lousy physical condition and still can’t get back to a normal sleeping schedule but I’m functioning again and better each week.

The only thing I can figure is this is one of the rare prayers I’ve been able to make, for myself, where I took myself completley out of the equation, meaning I didn’t try to tell Him what I needed, how to go about His business and so forth. All too often my ego gets in the way of my prayers, it’s something I’ve been working on for decades and am making improvement on but still have a ways to go.

Why I had to go through that five years is something I don’t understand, but I learned so many things that I otherwise would never have learned which may be part of the Lord’s plan for my future service. All paise and glory to him. One of the things I did with my time is began to teach myself Koine Greek, and I’ve come to many conclusions being able to read the NT in the Greek. Of course this is just my opinion, but I don’t think God wants our glory and praise so much as He knows it’s not good for me to hang on to it, I mentioned some ego problems a little earlier.

I hope and pray for you to find the same healing, that you need, as Jesus showed me is his power to give and it literally was a miracle out of the Bible. I believe that Jesus isn’t doing anything today that he wasn’t doing when He walked the earth, and that He didn’t do anything then that He isn’t doing today.

Praise be to his name and may your trials be of purpose and healed.
 
**God, please help Vani to get out of her problems, and give her the power of your son, and the Gift of thinking of the Holy Ghost.
Let her be happy every second in her life, because we don’t come to this earth twice.
Please God make her husband leave her alone, and give her the strength to continue praying with all her heart.

God protect her from every evil act her husband wills to take on her.
AMEN
May God bless you Vani
[BIBLEDRB][BIBLEDRB][/BIBLEDRB][/BIBLEDRB]**
 
May Vani have peace within
her heart and may she have
in the loving arms of God.

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
Vani,

I too struggle with my own sufferings, but I am learning two things. One, to offer it up to God for him to use as he will for the benefit of others; and two, to pray for God to open me up to his will for me now - to help me do his bidding that will open up for me the future he wants for me. I find that this does help in that it refocuses me on God and the need of others and I have less time to feel sorry for myself. At the end of the day, it feels so good to give thanks for the things God helps me to do.

Father in heaven, continue to have mercy on Vani. Help her to put one foot in front of the other and to take one minute, hour, day at a time to do what it is you lay before her. Grant her the strength and peace to not only endure but to thrive in living for you. In Jesus’ holy name, Amen.
 
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