Horribly Depressed. Prayers, Please

[lovedance4ever]

Hi all. I suppose I’m just venting. I will make this brief.
I am eighteen years old, and got to taste my first bit of independence this week, as I traveled to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania (about a seven hour drive) with my ‘little sister’ (she is a very close friend of my family - 14 years old). I made all the reservations, saved up, and drove the entire way.

I just adored it there…I cannot even describe the feeling I had being in that area. On top of everything, I love history, so to be in an area that experienced so much and had such an impact on American history…was quite intense and wonderful. Unfortunately, I only had reservations for two days, and we just came home today. I am thankful for the lovely time I had there, but at the same time, I am so depressed about having come home.

First of all, I hate where I live. I think it is because I have many bad memories of living here. I was horribly bullied in my neighborhood and the bullies still live there and still continue to terrorize myself and my family (we have a bullet hole in our garage window). I have no family other than my parents who care about me. My other family members are so self involved, and most of my cousins have not spoken to me in at least two years (nothing happened, just indifference). I go to college locally, and I have no friends there. They all use me for my car and such; I know they do not care for or respect me at all.

I think I just want to be rid of all the sad, hurtful memories and start fresh somewhere new. While I realize that I am unable to change that overnight, I cannot help but feel so very depressed and alone…and trapped.

I guess that was not brief! lol.
Prayers are greatly appreciated…and advice if you can think of some words of encouragement. Thank you so much. God bless.

 

[Trishie]

I’m happy that you have had a glimpse into a more pleasant and cheerful future.
Your recent experience gives you something to look forward to after college.
Hopefully in the meantime, you can develop the capacity for happiness within yourself.
When we are more positive and cheerful, we can attract friends more easily than when we are sell-doubting and sad.

In the meantime, though there are many things that you find distressing and sad, I ask God to help you to actively grow in appreciation of the little things that are good in your life, even things like that at 18, you have parents who love you, you have your own car, and you also have the opportunity of education, all things that many other young people lack. I hope you will find little joys in a sunny day, the breeze on your face and in your hair, all sorts of little things, thanking God for those things that in your sadness you can easily take for granted or overlook.

May God abundantly bless you and your parents,

 

[Mike_91]

You know the saying “the grass is greener on the other side”? I’ve found that statement to be true a bunch of times in my life. There are many times where I begin to think that I have a depressing life and that others have it much better off than I, but then I come to see how selfish I am for thinking such things when my family and I are healthy, I can afford to go to school to do what I love, I live in a great country, and generally life is good. Sometimes there have to be bad things in life so that the good things that we experience stand out more. You can’t have a rollercoaster that constantly goes up, right? It has to come down sometimes so that it can go up again (silly metaphor but I just made it up, ok? )

So now that you’ve travelled and seen a bit of what you like, focus on finishing school and looking forward to being able to move to somewhere where you would enjoy living. Hope is important as it keeps us going. Don’t just always be looking forward to leaving your home, however; look at the positives you have every day and I’m sure you’ll see that you have a generally good life Also, I’m not sure if you frequent any large sharing websites such as reddit, but you can read many peoples’ life stories on there and see that you’re not alone and that many people have things much worse off.

 

[sacred_words]

I’ll definitely be praying for you. I’ve had times in my life where i had glimpses of something better, and when things got real bad, i replayed those brief moments in my mind. It didn’t take the pain, loneliness or heartache away, though it did help me cope with it at least somewhat.

Hold onto the memories of that trip! Nobody can take those away from you, so write them down, use them in a story or any other future project.

PS: It sounds like you had a great time on your trip!

 

[Mintaka]

There’s a concept for dealing with depression which is very useful to some…

The idea is that depression tends to encourage our thoughts to get into certain ruts. All or nothing thoughts, worst possible interpretations of events, “fortunetelling” to ourselves that everything will always turn out badly… all that kind of stuff. These are “Automatic Negative Thoughts,” and you need to spot them and refute them as being silly.

Alternately, it often helps just to turn your thoughts to something else, or perform a strenuous physical activity that makes it hard to think or cheers you up.

Don’t let bad feelings trap you in your own head.

And remember, it’s already June. Time is passing very quickly. Have a good summer.

PS - I’m sure there are all kinds of free historical places, state parks, old roads, trails, etc. around your area. Why not drive around on some little day trips, if it doesn’t take too much gasoline? Or why not visit your local historical societies, or the local history rooms of libraries around your area? You could do some primary document research for fun on hot days. Heck, you can do that on the internet, even!