Catholic Farmer, I sympathize with what you are saying, and I’m a woman! I’m very sorry I didn’t run into better crowds of horse-women. I assure you that your characterization of some horse-women holds water with my own experience. Does that mean I think they’re all like that? Of course not.
Here’s how your assessment has played out in my own experience. One, a dear friend, is a vet and happy as a clam to be single and child-free. She’s one of the most agreeable horse-women I’ve been around. I went to a Lippizaner show once, and when one of the women learned I was engaged, she said, “Don’t do it.” Another, my roomie, isn’t particularly fond of children, and tends to a higher regard for animals. My instructor was similar, though I think she did have kids. Another woman who mentored me wasn’t married and had no kids. One of my husbands coworker’s wife has horses and has essentially said no to children. So, I hear you. However, my mother-in-law is a wonderful woman, and they own horses, even though they weren’t rideable by the time I met my husband.
I know not all fit the persona you described, but they are the ones I primarily ran into. I eventually quit riding because I didn’t make any friends, and primarily because I’m miserably allergic to a lot of the hay. People can make or break the riding experience, in my opinion, as learning to be around horses is demanding. I’m disappointed I didn’t run more into the other sort.