Hospice and Catholic Faith

[Starr555]

My father has late stage dementia and is living at home with me and my mother. Our decision is to keep him at home, safe, and under the care of a hospice team. The hospice folks have been wonderful. Lately, my father has developed edema in his feet due to inactivity and dehydration. It’s difficult to get him to drink enough fluids. We are adhering to the medical management of hospice, which is to keep pushing liquids and keep his feet elevated. His is not in any pain. However, my extended family, namely an aunt, is insisting that we rush him to the ER. She feels that we are being inhumane and cruel.

What do I do? My gut and more importantly my faith in Our Lord tells me to put it in His hands. I need some prayers.

God Bless.

 

[bluerose]

Edema is a natural consequence of the body shutting down. The same thing happened to my father-in-law (he had had a brain aneurysm and lived for three days under hospice care.) The hospice team knows best. Taking him to the ER will do no good. The fact that he is under hospice care basically means that they will not take any extraordinary measures to prolong his life. If he is in no pain, then hospice is doing the job it is meant to do.

It’s difficult to watch a loved one die slowly. The body undergoes many changes as it prepares to stop functioning. To those of us in good health and in a normal state of mind, it is painful to accept. The main thing is that you are following the hospice instructions and keeping him pain free.

You and he are in my prayers.

 

[pianistclare]

Catholics are permitted to allow their loved ones to die naturally.
Be at peace. Call the priest in to speak to the others, he will be able to explain it all to them.
Sorry you are going through this.

 

[Sy_Noe]

Hello Starr555, we kept my mother who also had severe dementia at home too and it is difficult but God bless you. One of my siblings who was a practicing Catholic also died and she was under hospice care. You ask what do you do? Know in your heart that you are already doing the right thing. Know you are not alone. My thoughts and prayers are certainly with you and your father and your mother and all of your loved ones at this difficult time. May God’s loving hands wrap around each of you and comfort you with peace.

 

[amsjj]

This too happened to my father as his body began to shut down. It can be so difficult to see the process.

My dear patron Fathers, please pray for this man and family. May he have a holy, peaceful death as you gave to my Papa.

St.Joseph, patron of a holy death, please intercede.

O Lady, please help with needed graces.

 

[Starr555]

Thank you all for your words of comfort. You have helped so much.

God Bless and thank you for your prayers.

 

[1ke]

My father has late stage dementia and is living at home with me and my mother. Our decision is to keep him at home, safe, and under the care of a hospice team. The hospice folks have been wonderful. Lately, my father has developed edema in his feet due to inactivity and dehydration. It’s difficult to get him to drink enough fluids. We are adhering to the medical management of hospice, which is to keep pushing liquids and keep his feet elevated. His is not in any pain. However, my extended family, namely an aunt, is insisting that we rush him to the ER. She feels that we are being inhumane and cruel.

What do I do? My gut and more importantly my faith in Our Lord tells me to put it in His hands. I need some prayers.

God Bless.

Continue to follow the hospice protocol. They are the experts on end of life care. If he needs pain management or other treatment, they will help you with it.

I am sure it is hard for your aunt. Have one of the hospice counselors talk to her. Don’t try to do it yourself.

 

[Michael_Mayo]

Catholics are permitted to allow their loved ones to die naturally.
Be at peace. Call the priest in to speak to the others, he will be able to explain it all to them.
Sorry you are going through this.

Yes, somehow some of us come to think that everything must be done to prolong life or we are killing a person. Deciding when to go with comfort care or hospice and when to continue to pursue aggressive life saving interventions or treatments is purely left up to the patient but the patient needs to be well informed and supported. Hospice usually does this well.