Hospitality - looking for thoughts

[Mamselle_Duroc]

Howdy! I’m a young lady who will be leaving home in a little over four months, and while I’m still at home with my mama to mentor me I’m doing what I can to learn the art of homemaking… when I’m in college the opportunities won’t be as many with the studies I’ll be undertaking and with the living situation. So I’ve been cooking for the family - all of six boys! - several nights of the week, and learning about decorating for a charming atmosphere, and resourceful sewing, and etc.

One thing I’d like to learn more about is the art of hospitality. I just love a house that makes a visitor feel welcome, that practically adopts them for the course of their stay, and it’s an atmosphere I very much want to have in my own future home… and definitely my college dorm room too, though my visitors will be pretty much restricted to female classmates.

And so… I’m hoping some of you ladies will share any tips and tricks you may have to making your home open and friendly to guests, and a true haven for whomever in stopping there. Any thoughts?

 

[Liberanosamalo]

The fact that you care to ask indicates you will have no problem showing marvelous hospitality.



All you need is a comfy place to sit, something to drink on hand, munchies, and a box of kleenex if anyone needs to cry on your shoulder.

The best hospitality comes from a host who is genuinely interested in the guest and what they have to say and what they think and wants to spend time with them. Everything else is window dressing. Being ignored in a palace with all the amenities doesn’t compare with being received with genuine warmth and friendship somewhere else.

And while you can’t have the guys in your room, most dorms have public spaces with couches and tables where you can sit and talk and even watch tv. My daughter’s dorm has a coffee bar in the lobby.

But the amenities are not as important as the host and guest relationship. You seem to have all the basics down just fine.

 

[Sillara]

From my experience in college, just having food of any kind is good!

I try to have comfortable things to sit on, and I try to convey that it is the people present who are important, not my fancy decorations. I have in my living room a statue of the Sacred Heart, and our Rosaries hang on the wall. A crucifix or two are all my other ornaments.

Our friends feel welcome in our home. Breaks and spills do not matter. Some good, simple food and lots of conversation make our home a welcoming place.

 

[Mamselle_Duroc]

Thanks for your replies!

All you need is a comfy place to sit, something to drink on hand, munchies, and a box of kleenex if anyone needs to cry on your shoulder.

I’ve heard that it’s good to always have a pitcher of sweet tea ready in case of unexpected visitors. Some homemakers I know always have a cake ready, too, but… well, we’ll see what happens when I actually have my own place.

And while you can’t have the guys in your room, most dorms have public spaces with couches and tables where you can sit and talk and even watch tv. My daughter’s dorm has a coffee bar in the lobby.

I’m going to Thomas Aquinas College, and while I love the dorm rules they have about no members of the opposite sex visiting between the dorms - so much more comfortable, with a better sense of privacy and modesty - I am going to miss entertaining the menfolk for that period of time. I got attached to cooking for fellows during my lifelong stay at my home with my numerous brothers… but I suppose there’s no reason why I can’t serve 'em some goodies at a picnic every so often.

I try to have comfortable things to sit on, and I try to convey that it is the people present who are important, not my fancy decorations. I have in my living room a statue of the Sacred Heart, and our Rosaries hang on the wall. A crucifix or two are all my other ornaments.

Thanks for the mention of the Catholic decorations. I’ll probably do up my dorm room with all the fancy, girly, lacey things I inherited from my great-grandmother and which are currently in my room, but I have no plans for the future home… if I end up getting married, I figure my man should have a say in that, too. But regardless of where I am or whose tastes I have to take into consideration, the Catholic decor is a must.

What I’m picking up from your posts is that the most important thing is your attitude, and that you actually care about your guests, and they’re naturally going to feel at ease when they pick up on that atmosphere. And I agree that’s the essence of it. But I sometimes find it hard to translate the attitude into actual actions… do you have any specific things that you do or that others you know do?

In addition to having the pitcher of sweet tea always ready, I’ve heard that it makes a world of difference to actually ask the guest if you might take his coat, rather than just gesturing to a place he can toss it.

 

[Cat]

Thanks for your replies!

I’ve heard that it’s good to always have a pitcher of sweet tea ready in case of unexpected visitors. Some homemakers I know always have a cake ready, too, but… well, we’ll see what happens when I actually have my own place.

I’m going to Thomas Aquinas College, and while I love the dorm rules they have about no members of the opposite sex visiting between the dorms - so much more comfortable, with a better sense of privacy and modesty - I am going to miss entertaining the menfolk for that period of time. I got attached to cooking for fellows during my lifelong stay at my home with my numerous brothers… but I suppose there’s no reason why I can’t serve 'em some goodies at a picnic every so often.

Thanks for the mention of the Catholic decorations. I’ll probably do up my dorm room with all the fancy, girly, lacey things I inherited from my great-grandmother and which are currently in my room, but I have no plans for the future home… if I end up getting married, I figure my man should have a say in that, too. But regardless of where I am or whose tastes I have to take into consideration, the Catholic decor is a must.

What I’m picking up from your posts is that the most important thing is your attitude, and that you actually care about your guests, and they’re naturally going to feel at ease when they pick up on that atmosphere. And I agree that’s the essence of it. But I sometimes find it hard to translate the attitude into actual actions… do you have any specific things that you do or that others you know do?

In addition to having the pitcher of sweet tea always ready, I’ve heard that it makes a world of difference to actually ask the guest if you might take his coat, rather than just gesturing to a place he can toss it.

I will warn you–most Northerners do not like sweet iced tea! They like it unsweetened with sugar and sugar substitutes like Nutrasweet or Splenda. And many Northerners don’t like iced tea at all, but prefer soda (or pop, as you will hear them call it).

Enjoy college life. It’s good of you to think of others.

 

[lovemysix]

This won’t apply to your time at TAC (unless you plan to entertain in the pit ), but for later in your life, this is my advice:

Always have a glass of wine or beer ready (unless they are recovering alcoholics, that is) to offer the minute your guests come through the door, and have munchies out. Have a pleasant place to sit (around a crackling fireplace is wonderful if you live in a cold climate!), and really take the time to relax and enjoy your friends. Nothing is worse than being a guest in somebody’s home and having the host/hostess running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I’d rather have a simple meal and a relaxed hostess than an elaborate meal and a stressed-out hostess.

Just a few ideas

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Oh, and rule number one. Turn off your cell phone.

Be with your guest. Everyone else can wait till your guest leaves.

Nothing more irritating than visiting someone and they are texting and talking on the phone to interrupting people. Hopefully your guest will use the same manners.

 

[Mamselle_Duroc]

I will warn you–most Northerners do not like sweet iced tea! They like it unsweetened with sugar and sugar substitutes like Nutrasweet or Splenda. And many Northerners don’t like iced tea at all, but prefer soda (or pop, as you will hear them call it).

Thanks for the heads-up. I’m really not familiar with the North… the closest I’ve got is my Canadian folks, and they usually go for hot tea.

I’m not claiming any special familiarity with the South, though. I was adopted by the West when I was a small girl; but I seem to have found my way into an interesting little country pocket that admires and emulates the South with all its heart, from their big focus on faith and family to their guitars strumming Dixie on the front porches in the evenings. It’s really quite a unique place.

I’ve taken note of the soda… and excuse me for being a little bit slow to pick up on it, but are saying that the Northerners prefer cold but unsweetened tea, or are they more of hot-tea-and-add-your-own-milk-and-sugar?

Having not the faintest notion of where I’m going to live in the next few years, and having friends and relatives from all the four corners, the more I can expand my knowledge on what the various people like, the better.

Always have a glass of wine or beer ready (unless they are recovering alcoholics, that is) to offer the minute your guests come through the door, and have munchies out. Have a pleasant place to sit (around a crackling fireplace is wonderful if you live in a cold climate!), and really take the time to relax and enjoy your friends. Nothing is worse than being a guest in somebody’s home and having the host/hostess running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I’d rather have a simple meal and a relaxed hostess than an elaborate meal and a stressed-out hostess.

My daddy came from an Irish background, and my mama went to school in Switzerland where they handed out wine and cheese on long hikes, so we’re definitely big on always having some alcohol ready. And growing up we watched a lot of old movies from the 30’s and 40’s, and I figured out pretty quick that a favourite phrase of the host/hostess is: “Can I mix you a drink?”

Simplicity does sound like it’s the key. My lady mentor always told me that it doesn’t matter how fancy the food is; the love you put into it is what makes it special… and made haste to add that simple still meant good.

Oh, and rule number one. Turn off your cell phone.

Be with your guest. Everyone else can wait till your guest leaves.

Nothing more irritating than visiting someone and they are texting and talking on the phone to interrupting people. Hopefully your guest will use the same manners.

Thanks so much for that piece of advice! I can’t imagine having people over for a visit, plopping them on a chair, and then proceeding to ignore them while catching up on business and other social calls.

Ladies, I want to thank you all so much for taking the time to give me your ideas and hints. I’m definitely learning, and I appreciate it so much.