House guest

[eng7j]

So we have a family member arriving later this week and staying with us for 3 weeks. We had a friend contact us today and asked if he could stay with us for a week from Friday. He will be in town for a wedding of a mutual friend and we are going to it as well. About 6 months ago we said to our friend he could stay with us anytime not knowing he’d ask the same time we were hosting a family member. The timing doesn’t seem right though because our family member will be here at the same time. But we do have a few extra bedrooms. You could say our friend is more like an aquantiance who we like a lot and used to be closer to but moved away from the area a few years ago. He usually visits twice a year. Should we let our friend stay the same time as our family member will be here? I’m afraid it might be a little overwhelming being pregnant and all with two house guests who don’t know each other but I feel like we’d feel guilty if we didn’t let our friend stay too?

 

[pianistclare]

You offered.
Just remind him you have family in, you’re pregnant, and you can’t really wait on him.
He’ll understand.
Friends help out. If he’s a good friend, he’ll respect your limitations at this time, or he’ll go elsewhere.

 

[Xantippe]

You offered.
Just remind him you have family in, you’re pregnant, and you can’t really wait on him.
He’ll understand.
Friends help out. If he’s a good friend, he’ll respect your limitations at this time, or he’ll go elsewhere.

Right.

And in future, don’t tell anybody, “You can come any time!”

 

[shainski]

I think you are okay either way.

You have an excuse to back out - “Oh, we would have loved to have you, but unfortunately, we already have a guest.”.

or

you can include him. “Sure, you’re welcome. I have to warn you that we are having another house guest, and with the wedding, I may not be the best host in the world. But if you wouldn’t mind helping yourself to breakfast and lunch, we’d look forward to seeing you. I hope you feel free to come and go on your own terms.”

Now, I don’t know the personalities of your family member or this aquaintance - you would have a better idea whether or not t hey would be okay with one another or not.

Since you have the wedding going on, you all have outside interests, responsibilities - and presumably know other people going to that wedding - you all need to be able to set up times where you aren’t beholden to the others.

Are any of you involved with the wedding other than attending? Like going to the rehearsal dinner - or would any of the three of you presumable like the freedom to go and visit other people coming into town (or people already living in town).

To me, it would be very freeing - if the host said “You are welcome to stay, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to spend a lot of time with you, because of these other obligations. But, I would really like it if you stay here anyway, and I will look forward to the time we will be able to talk.”

But no matter which direction you go - don’t fret about it. The friend should understand either way.

 

[Xantippe]

Here’s a thought–has the prospective house guest stayed with you before? Do you know what he’s like as a house guest?

If yes, and he’s an easy-keeper, feel free to host him. If he needs to be waited on, try another time (or don’t do it).

 

[12345678]

I think you are okay either way.

You have an excuse to back out - “Oh, we would have loved to have you, but unfortunately, we already have a guest.”.

or

you can include him. “Sure, you’re welcome. I have to warn you that we are having another house guest, and with the wedding, I may not be the best host in the world. But if you wouldn’t mind helping yourself to breakfast and lunch, we’d look forward to seeing you. I hope you feel free to come and go on your own terms.”

Now, I don’t know the personalities of your family member or this aquaintance - you would have a better idea whether or not t hey would be okay with one another or not.

Since you have the wedding going on, you all have outside interests, responsibilities - and presumably know other people going to that wedding - you all need to be able to set up times where you aren’t beholden to the others.

Are any of you involved with the wedding other than attending? Like going to the rehearsal dinner - or would any of the three of you presumable like the freedom to go and visit other people coming into town (or people already living in town).

To me, it would be very freeing - if the host said “You are welcome to stay, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to spend a lot of time with you, because of these other obligations. But, I would really like it if you stay here anyway, and I will look forward to the time we will be able to talk.”

But no matter which direction you go - don’t fret about it. The friend should understand either way.

 

[Catholic1954]

So we have a family member arriving later this week and staying with us for 3 weeks. We had a friend contact us today and asked if he could stay with us for a week from Friday. He will be in town for a wedding of a mutual friend and we are going to it as well. About 6 months ago we said to our friend he could stay with us anytime not knowing he’d ask the same time we were hosting a family member. The timing doesn’t seem right though because our family member will be here at the same time. But we do have a few extra bedrooms. You could say our friend is more like an aquantiance who we like a lot and used to be closer to but moved away from the area a few years ago. He usually visits twice a year. Should we let our friend stay the same time as our family member will be here? I’m afraid it might be a little overwhelming being pregnant and all with two house guests who don’t know each other but I feel like we’d feel guilty if we didn’t let our friend stay too?

If you have the room, why not? It would be nice for your family member and friend get to know each other. You are not running a bed and breakfast, so don’t feel like you have to wait on every one.