Household Management - thoughts please?

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CradleJourney

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My home has de-evolved into total chaos (will skip the reasons, trying to keep this brief).

My goal is to get it back on track which is turning out to be much harder than I could ever imagine. I remember having/keeping it all in line in the past, but playing catch up is driving me to despair. (Ex. I get the laundry caught up but that means leaving other things undone for several days. I try to get those caught up and laundry gets backlogged.)

Obviously it’s more complicated than just the laundry 🙂 But that’s a quick example of the logistics problem I keep running into.

How do I figure out how to balance things so everything either stays caught up or is in the process of getting caught up?

I do use Side-tracked Home Executives card file system, so I’ve done the work of knowing what I need to do and when I need to do it. The problem is execution - particularly when there’s never enough time compared to what needs done. Or rather - I could have the time if I ceased my work as caregiver to my hubby, six kids, and elderly parent - which isn’t going to happen!

As far as kids and hubby go…they do help and I’m working on “training” them to do more - but that, in itself, takes another chunk of time.

Anyway - would appreciate anyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut on how to balance/prioritize the repetitive needs of basic household management
(cleaning, finances, home maintenance, organization, scheduling, meal preparation, supervision of children’s chores, etc.)
with each day’s “opportunities” (the emergencies, activities, problems, and commitments that are unique to that day and must be done).

From mom’s toilet breaking to working on dd’s first communion banner, to getting supplies for a scout campout, it’s never the same thing twice - but there’s always something! 🙂

I have and will continue to try to work on this for myself and my family … but figured maybe someone out there might have some ideas I hadn’t yet read or thought of yet. Thanks!
 
As far as chores, I began here: moneysavingmom.com/downloads/household-management-forms and amended to my needs; I try to do 20m of cleaning a day. I never see the need to do really “deep” cleaning (what does that mean, anyway?). When something is done being used (even if it will be out later), it gets put away, especially with the children’s things.

I pay bills as they come in, we file everything in binders (HOME has sewer, electric, internet, etc, MORTGAGE is that, Health Insc is that, etc).

Home maintenance we don’t have a lot of- I love outside, so I do most outdoor work, while DH does indoor. We keep a list, and do things as we do find time. Changing filters and such is on my cleaning/chores list. Light bulbs I do as they come.

Our kids don’t have chores on their own (3yr, 1 1/2yr, preg). They are expected to help, but it’s all done with us, or while we are working on something else in the room (she makes her bed as I vacuum/clean blinds/hang laundry/etc).

I’ve never gotten into meal planning (and we cook from scratch, hahaha). I figure out dinner in the AM, put anything out to defrost that needs it (meat, usually). I keep a running list of staples as we get low (veggies/meats/rice/pasta/etc). I tend to cook meat +2 vegg+carb, or stir fry or soup. So, lots of flexibility for my lack of meal planning.

Scheduling I keep a master calendar on the counter. Anything and Everything is listed. I glance at it every morning and evening to see what is lined up; I HAVE called back to Dr’s to reschedule apts when needed (I try to make those before leaving the office). None have ever cared!

We follow a general schedule- everyone up and dressed (so we could leave the house) by X time, Lunch is always at X, Nap/Quiet time at X, dinner about X.
I have no clue what “Side-tracked Home Executives card file system” is, but sounds neat 🙂
 
1ke said:
Fly Lady may have some solutions for you.
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I’ve never been able to get past her requirement to wear shoes 😃

I’m a barefoot kinda gal.

But seriously, does she have a way of dealing with time management in regards to backlog and balance? If so, I’ll give her another try.
 
1ke said:
Fly Lady may have some solutions for you.
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Yup. Except, as someone mentioned, the shoes part. 😛

Also, OP, please remember to take baby steps. Take one part of one room and work on it for fifteen minutes by the timer.

I found this SO helpful. I didn’t write it, but everyone should read it.
Break Down Organizing Into Manageable Tasks
I used to be very disorganized; that wasn’t the problem. The problem was I had no way to sort things out that felt comfortable to me. But in 1991, I was unemployed for a few weeks and decided to occupy myself by solving the problem once and for all. I had my bedroom in a large family room with all my hobby stuff, intermingled with my personal things. It gave me a headache to approach the mess and I felt inadequate. But this one day, the light bulb went on, and life has been better ever since.
I started to gather my hair things and felt overwhelmed by all the categories. I had three sizes and types of bobby pins alone. Even that felt like too much. So I picked the medium brown ones, and literally went around the room and gathered each one I found until I had them all and put a rubber band around them and put them in a small box. Then I picked the second kind, searched them all out, rubberbanded them, and added them to the box.
I found I needed to break the categories down to one at a time, taking it through the gathering, securing, and placing, otherwise I felt overwhelmed. I had been postponing this day of reckoning for a long time. I let my feelings be my guide. If I didn’t feel confused or overwhelmed, I continued. I went by size, category, attachment, conflict, etc. If I felt conflicted, I put it down and worked on something else or broke the task down to yet smaller tasks.
This room contained sewing things, a knitting machine, two spinning wheels, wool, yarn, dyes, a loom, clothing, books, and all the equipment which went with these hobbies. It took me two long, long days, probably 8-9 hours per day, plus a bit of a 3rd day to get things hung up, sorted and given a place, categorized, thrown away, and so on.
Afterward, I let things go for a while again until it got messy, perhaps to test myself. When it reached a degree of clutter I couldn’t abide, not as bad as the first time, I did the same thing. I had to break it down, just as before, to get the job done with any degree of inner peace. But after that second round, organizing anything was never a problem again, and in fact, I do it to relax. I am more than happy to help clean up disorganization in my grandchildren’s houses when they are at work, and very little dismays me. I have been lost, and found my own way out.
Chaos does not unnerve me anymore, as long as I can help do something about it. So I suggest being the feeling creatures we are, use your feelings as your guide and break it down until you feel all right, and clutter just magically disappears.
Bypikkafrom Westminster, CO
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It is hard catching up when there is a huge backlog.
When things have gotten on top of my daughter she chooses an amount of time to spend on each of the tasks that are backlogged, sets a timer for each section and moves on when it rings - eventually it does all get done. She uses small chunks of time (10 to 15 minutes) because then she feels that she is getting more done. A bit of a mind game, but it does work.

As far as children and chores, when mine were little I had charts with pictures instead of words. Laminate the charts and use erasable markers so that they can mark off the chores they have done and you can use the same chart each day.

I had a small rectangular basket for each person’s clean laundry and would sort straight into those baskets. If there wasn’t time to put it away the baskets still looked neater than a huge pile of washing and you could then just in a few spare minutes put one person’s washing away.

At one stage we lived far from shops and I only had one day a month to do groceries. I sat and worked out a cycle of menus (for the main meals) and did my shopping based on that.
 
CradleJourney said:
I’ve never been able to get past her requirement to wear shoes 😃

I’m a barefoot kinda gal.

But seriously, does she have a way of dealing with time management in regards to backlog and balance? If so, I’ll give her another try.
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But do you understand her reason for demanding that you put on shoes?

It is not only to protect your feet inside the house. It is to break through the sloppy “I’m at home and it doesn’t matter,” mindset, and give you more purpose and focus. It is also to help keep your feet in good shape - wearing shoes is just better for them!

You just need to get a good pair of really comfy shoes and keep them ONLY for the house.

Getting dressed every day is part of taking care of yourself. It does work, when you take it slowly and trust her system. She’s been through every excuse in the book. She’s been there and done that.
 
Thank you for starting this discussion! I hope to learn a lot, too. 👍
 
You have a lot on your plate with 6 children and elderly parent(s) to care for. There is only so much one person can do. Do you have a teenage neighbor girl or family friend who might be able to help you? Slip her a few bucks and have her fold the laundry, empty the dishwasher, and other simple chores. This will free up some time for you.
 
jpjd said:
You have a lot on your plate with 6 children and elderly parent(s) to care for. There is only so much one person can do. Do you have a teenage neighbor girl or family friend who might be able to help you? Slip her a few bucks and have her fold the laundry, empty the dishwasher, and other simple chores. This will free up some time for you.
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Not sure of the age of the OP’s kids, but I would consider delegating tasks to the older ones. Most 7 or 8 year olds (of either gender) can fold laundry and put it up, unload the dishwasher and put those items away,plus help with meal prep among other basic household tasks. If they are older, they can do much more. I have only 3 boys and for the longest time, I was doing everything myself, then I realized I was doing a great disservice to both myself and my sons’ future spouses by not delegating household things they needed to learn to do themselves such as cleaning, cooking, etc. My guys are now middle school and college age) and can be pretty self-sufficient if they need to be. That removed a lot of what I felt was chaotic in the home and it taught them how we come together as a family and do what needs to be done, regardless of what it is.
 
Not sure of the age of the OP’s kids, but I would consider delegating tasks to the older ones. Most 7 or 8 year olds (of either gender) can fold laundry and put it up, unload the dishwasher and put those items away,plus help with meal prep among other basic household tasks. If they are older, they can do much more. I have only 3 boys and for the longest time, I was doing everything myself, then I realized I was doing a great disservice to both myself and my sons’ future spouses by not delegating household things they needed to learn to do themselves such as cleaning, cooking, etc. My guys are now middle school and college age) and can be pretty self-sufficient if they need to be. That removed a lot of what I felt was chaotic in the home and it taught them how we come together as a family and do what needs to be done, regardless of what it is.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
But do you understand her reason for demanding that you put on shoes?

It is not only to protect your feet inside the house. It is to break through the sloppy “I’m at home and it doesn’t matter,” mindset, and give you more purpose and focus. It is also to help keep your feet in good shape - wearing shoes is just better for them!

You just need to get a good pair of really comfy shoes and keep them ONLY for the house.

Getting dressed every day is part of taking care of yourself. It does work, when you take it slowly and trust her system. She’s been through every excuse in the book. She’s been there and done that.
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I absolutely agree it is to break through the sloppy at home mindset.

But respectfully, it is NOT better for your feet to wear shoes. In fact new studies are showing exactly the opposite.

In fact I am sure that part of the reason I got plantar faciitis was I went from a stay at home mom who rarely wore shoes to standing on my feet in shoes at least 5 hours a day 5 days a week. “good” shoes, the ones that have great support actually get us to walk differently than what is good for our feet, knees hips and back.

That said, it does help to put on shoes to break through that mindset.
 
MariaG said:
I absolutely agree it is to break through the sloppy at home mindset.

But respectfully, it is NOT better for your feet to wear shoes. In fact new studies are showing exactly the opposite.

In fact I am sure that part of the reason I got plantar faciitis was I went from a stay at home mom who rarely wore shoes to standing on my feet in shoes at least 5 hours a day 5 days a week. “good” shoes, the ones that have great support actually get us to walk differently than what is good for our feet, knees hips and back.

That said, it does help to put on shoes to break through that mindset.
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With all due respect, standing on your feet for 5 hours a day 5 days a week is not really what stay-at-home moms do. We can argue this all day long. I know personally, when I wear flip-flops or sandals during the summer, my feet start to look really bad, and when I wear shoes during the winter, they look and feel better. That’s my experience. Shoes do help me. But I can turn my ankle standing flat on the floor, so I need help.
 
Lots of good suggestions on this thread.

I recently downloaded the “Motivated Moms” app for iPod, iPad or iPhone:

itunes.apple.com/kn/app/motivated-moms-2013/id558240605?mt=8&ign-mpt=uo%3D2

Some info:

Key features:
• All tasks in the average home are planned out for you throughout the year
• Ability to add unlimited custom tasks
• Check off chores as they are done and they drop to the bottom of the list out of your way
• No major cleaning days or Spring Cleaning week, do just a little all year around
• Daily items and those that come up less frequently are scheduled for you
• No need to remember when you last changed the a/c filter or dusted the living room – just do the tasks as they come up; the app keeps track for you.
• Tasks can be assigned to people and rooms and sorted accordingly

You can move items to other days if there is a conflict. The application also gives you the ability to “hide” items that don’t apply. Don’t have a pet? Just hide the “Feed Pets” chore, then “unhide” it later if you get a pet part of the way through the year.

Want to be reminded to read your Bible each day? Motivated Moms will help you read through the Bible in a year. Don’t need the bible reading plan? There is a setting to turn off the scheduled Bible readings so you won’t see them in your list.

From their website: motivatedmoms.com/products/apps/
 
CradleJourney said:
My home has de-evolved into total chaos (will skip the reasons, trying to keep this brief).

How do I figure out how to balance things so everything either stays caught up or is in the process of getting caught up?

IAnyway - would appreciate anyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut on how to balance/prioritize the repetitive needs of basic household management
(cleaning, finances, home maintenance, organization, scheduling, meal preparation, supervision of children’s chores, etc.)
with each day’s “opportunities” (the emergencies, activities, problems, and commitments that are unique to that day and must be done).
Thanks!
Click to expand...
Fly Lady flylady.net/

Baby Steps from Fly Lady flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/

Important words from Fly Lady: You are not behind! I don’t want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?

Fly Lady’s 11 Commandments flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/flyladys-11-commandments/

Fly Lady’s book *Sink Reflection *- you can probably get this at your public library to read.
shop.flylady.net/pages/flyshop_sink.asp

Fly Lady’s Control Journal flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/control-journal/
 
My kids are doing their laundry by age 6, and it has to get done on a certain day. If you hve six kids, you probably have several older than 6 years. They can do laundry, keep their bedrooms clean (even my 4 year old can clean his room), put away dishes, vacuum, wipe down the bathrooms, put away groceries, dust, etc.

My house is always clean, because my husband and I are on the “neat freak” end of the spectrum. My number ONE tip for keeping the home in shape is to eliminate superfluous items from the premises. Kids don’t need loads of toys or clothes. You don’t need sheets for ten beds if you only have five. You don’t need towels and dishes for an army if you’ve just got a family. No need for 1/2 used bottles of shampoo and lotion under the sink. No need to save past issues of magazines, or store Christmas or birthday cards. Kitchen items and utensils? If you don’t use something regularly - out it goes. Do not keep an “extra” of anything that is not a life-or-death item. Expired medicine, the old humidifier that only sort of works, the iron your mom sent you to college with that has been replaced, the hot rollers you haven’t used since you cut your hair - out. Discard, discard, discard. By not keeping unnecessary items in the home (even in “strorage”) you will free up space for the things you do need, and they won’t be pushed into inappropriate areas. You will have more peace in your clutter-less life, and the house will be infinitely easier to maintain if you’re not working around too much stuff!
 
First, pray, and the Lord always helps you when you are most desperate.

Second, focus on what’s really important. When they are little, just keep the kitchen and bathroom clean, the kids fed and hugged. Own as little as possible—sofa cushions on the floor, nothing that can break or cause harm. (I think this was said in an earlier post, and it is correct.)

Third, we had five kids in four years (two sets of twins and our oldest). Get up before them and get stuff done and then have a schedule. Get out every day with them so that that can be your focus (I will get this done before we go to the park at 10am). Nap or quiet time in the p.m. is a must. They need it and you need it. Use the TV only right before supper so you can prepare it----we would pop in a Winnie the Pooh video, or Sesame Street. No other TV allowed except on family movie night.

Fourth, when they are older, assign each a laundry day and a kitchen day. That would be their day to bring laundry down (I always did it because it was easier and I knew it was done right) and take it up when it was done and clean the kitchen (filling the dishwasher esentially and sweep the floor). Kids really do want responsibility. We would have family meetings do discuss things that were falling through the cracks.

Fifth, my pediatrician father-in-law taught me this. Catch them being good, and then praising that is much more successful than punishing for bad. Kids love the praise and will want to be good. It also ties into seeing Jesus in them. He also said that if you do lose your cool every once in a while (for me, that was yelling at the kids----would never, ever strike them—it’s stupid and useless), stop, apologize to the kids and you will see how much they respect you for that. (“Guys, I am sorry I yelled. I go upset and I shouldn’t have done that. It’s better just to talk things out. Do you forgive me?”) And they would----and it opened the door for them to apologize for their behavior too.

Sixth, pray together (we weren’t as regular as I had hoped, but it was still there) and make Sunday Mass a non-negotiable (this is sometimes tough with sport and their friends who do not go). Again, I wasn’t as consistent as I had hoped, but they got the point. Most of all, have them see you (Mom or Dad) praying or talking about prayer life.

Hang in there----Hope this was helpful.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
With all due respect, standing on your feet for 5 hours a day 5 days a week is not really what stay-at-home moms do. We can argue this all day long. I know personally, when I wear flip-flops or sandals during the summer, my feet start to look really bad, and when I wear shoes during the winter, they look and feel better. That’s my experience. Shoes do help me. But I can turn my ankle standing flat on the floor, so I need help.
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Apparently as a stay at home mom, I spent more time on my feet:shrug:

I could quote article after article after article. I can also tell you that as a western society have basically placed our feet in casts. When you take a cast off, the muscles are atrophied and can hurt when they are used again.

I am quite sure that many peoples feet hurt when they don’t wear shoes. And there is growing evidence the the problem started because of shoes.
The researchers concluded that, prior to the invention of shoes, people had healthier feet. Among the modern subjects, the Zulu population, which often goes barefoot, had the healthiest feet while the Europeans—i.e., the habitual shoe-wearers—had the unhealthiest. One of the lead researchers, Dr. Bernhard Zipfel, when commenting on his findings, lamented that the American Podiatric Medical Association does not “actively encourage outdoor barefoot walking for healthy individuals. This flies in the face of the increasing scientific evidence, including our study, that most of the commercially available footwear is not good for the feet."
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. nymag.com/health/features/46213/
 
JackieMom said:
No need for 1/2 used bottles of shampoo and lotion under the sink…
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As a black-belt tightwad, I either ‘cocktail’ half-used shampoo bottles or wash laundry with them. “Find another use for” is one of my favorite games.
 
. My number ONE tip for keeping the home in shape is to eliminate superfluous items from the premises. Kids don’t need loads of toys or clothes. You don’t need sheets for ten beds if you only have five. You don’t need towels and dishes for an army if you’ve just got a family. No need for 1/2 used bottles of shampoo and lotion under the sink. No need to save past issues of magazines, or store Christmas or birthday cards. Kitchen items and utensils? If you don’t use something regularly - out it goes. Do not keep an “extra” of anything that is not a life-or-death item. Expired medicine, the old humidifier that only sort of works, the iron your mom sent you to college with that has been replaced, the hot rollers you haven’t used since you cut your hair - out. Discard, discard, discard. By not keeping unnecessary items in the home (even in “strorage”) you will free up space for the things you do need, and they won’t be pushed into inappropriate areas. You will have more peace in your clutter-less life, and the house will be infinitely easier to maintain if you’re not working around too much stuff!
Click to expand...
Oooo absolutely this, too.
 
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