Housemate and his drinking

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brendan0

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I am distressed about this housemate, who is drunk,as I speak downstairs, arguing with himself. He has been warned by the landlord before for this behaviour, and stopped for a long time. But since last night, it’s back again; frankly I’ve had enough.

However, he does have a drinking problem, and probably some serious problems driving this. If I did complain to the landlord, he would indeed get kicked out, so he has little or no money (unemployed) to find anoher place, I don’t want him to homeless either. But he is hanging around the kitchen all the time, making stupid noises and making a mess of the place. You don’t want to know what happens when he starts cooking dinner.

He also smokes when drunk, this is a worry. I feel on one hand I’ve been too soft on him, but again would like to help in some way, but he never understands what I say. I have nobody else to tlak to about this, could anyone offer some advice?

thanks.
 
Have you sat him down, and had an intervention already? if you haven’t, you should. You should ALSO sit him down when he’s sober, and show him all the mess he makes, and explain about the noises and conversations with himself. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable when he does it, and that if he continues to drink he needs to find somewhere else to live.

Pray for him, of course, as well.
 
mandajane said:
Have you sat him down, and had an intervention already? if you haven’t, you should. You should ALSO sit him down when he’s sober, and show him all the mess he makes, and explain about the noises and conversations with himself. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable when he does it, and that if he continues to drink he needs to find somewhere else to live.

Pray for him, of course, as well.
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He speaks little English. He has failed to understand me before. The landlord has had enough of him too, so I know if I say what’s going on, he’s out the door, and probably homeless.
 
Report him to the landlord. But before you do find him a shelter that specializes in people with substance abuse problems and book him a room. And most shelters have ample resources for communicating with and helping people who don’t speak much English.

You need to look out for your own personal safety as well as his.
 
brendan0 said:
He speaks little English. He has failed to understand me before. The landlord has had enough of him too, so I know if I say what’s going on, he’s out the door, and probably homeless.
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Sometimes the most merciful thing you can do for a person is to be just.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Report him to the landlord. But before you do find him a shelter that specializes in people with substance abuse problems and book him a room. And most shelters have ample resources for communicating with and helping people who don’t speak much English.

You need to look out for your own personal safety as well as his.
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I think this is the best advice. There are places that can help him and he needs help.
 
Okay, thanks for the advice everyone. This isn’t going to stop, so I’ll let the landlord know soon. Maybe it’s the only way he’ll learn.
 
You need to understand what rights your roommate has before you unlawfully try to kick him out of his home. In most places a 30 day written notice is required, but you should contact an attorney to be sure.

In any case you will most certainly be better off if you can come to a peaceful arrangement with him rather than telling your landlord. If money is a problem for him you might offer to give him moving expenses just to get him out of your hair.
 
Sounds like he is one of the “least of the Lord’s brothers!”
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Report him to the landlord. But before you do find him a shelter that specializes in people with substance abuse problems and book him a room. And most shelters have ample resources for communicating with and helping people who don’t speak much English.

You need to look out for your own personal safety as well as his.
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I, too, agree that this advice is the best. This gentleman has already been warned once by their landlord that his behavior would not be tolerated and that if he did it again he would be asked to leave and feel that the landlord is well within their rights to make such a request. Besides if the above gentleman is unemployed why is he buying alcohol when he should be paying his bills?
 
Is there anything keeping you there? Instead of trying to move the mountain, move away from the mountain.
 
brendan0 said:
Okay, thanks for the advice everyone. This isn’t going to stop, so I’ll let the landlord know soon. Maybe it’s the only way he’ll learn.
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What kinds of noises does he make? Just curious. I work with mentally ill folks so this kind of thing is interesting to me.
 
  1. Interventions rarely work. The addict/alcoholic has to want to stop the addiction or it will never change.
  2. If he is driving, he should be reported to the local authorities as soon as he is driving away if you know he is drunk.
  3. People who are drunk and smoke frequently burn themselves and their residences up, and family members die in fires too.
  4. You are not responsible for sacrificing your own safety for this person.
  5. It would be an act of mercy to help him find a new residence (shelter).
  6. But you must report him to the landlord.
  7. If you want to also move out after reporting this, then do that too.
 
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