Housemates & drugs

[PerfectTiming]

I’m a student and I share a house with three friends. The other night, me and two of my housemates were hanging out with another friend and the three of them were discussing smoking pot. I know all of them have done in the past and they know I have never. They were talking about meeting up and getting high after a few deadlines have passed, most likely in a few weeks. They know I disapprove and normally I’d just let them do what they want because it’s their lives (and lungs) but this time they want to do it in our house. As I said, they can do what they want with their lives but now it’s my house as well and it really bothers me. If I could I’d go stay with a friend but there’s no-one I know well enough to do that. I’m really objectionable to this but I feel bad trying to stop them and I don’t really know why it bothers me so much so I know if I ask them not to it’ll seem silly because I can’t explain why I don’t want them doing it. I don’t really know what’s the best route to take. Any advice?

 

[DexUK]

You need to let them know your concerns.

You’re right in that you’re not their keeper: they get to do things oftentimes whether you like it or not. But they do need to respect your wishes in the shared environment, especially since what they’re doing is most likely against the law.

Tell them you don’t want to be involved and ask them as a matter of good friendship to keep it away from you and not to force you out of your home.

Obviously it would be better that they didn’t smoke the drugs at all, but it sounds like you’re not likely to be able to persuade them of that any time soon. Having said that, keep setting the example.

On a practical note, many years ago I had friends (whom I no longer associate with) who would smoke pot in my presence. They knew me well enough not to pressure me into trying it but I very rapidly discovered that being present in the ‘purple haze’ gave me a stinking headache in no time flat and I vacated the premises forthwith. You could certainly say you don’t want to risk being made to feel ill by the smoke and fumes in the household during and after the event. It would also be quite valid to say that you don’t want to be risking legal or disciplinary sanctions because you’re deemed guilty by association (authorities assuming you were smoking it because they couldn’t tell you weren’t). Your housemates don’t have that right to put you at risk because you like in the same house.

Explain it to them, while they’re sober of course. If they refuse to acknowledge your concerns, you’ll probably need to absent yourself if they go ahead anyway and, if I were you, I’d consider who I counted as my friends and I’d certainly be looking for somewhere else to live if it because a continuing a problem.

 

[Defender1]

I would stand my ground and tell them that you do not want them smoking pot in your home .They should be sympathetic to the fact that your trying to be a good Christian . It is disrespectful for them to smoke pot in the house. Tell them why you do not want them to smoke . It is wrong for them to do so anyway . I would face my fear and tell them with straight up honesty . I will pray for you

 

[Joe_Kelley]

You may be in legal peril. As I recall, one can be arrested simply for being present where there are drugs.

 

[stringbeanduck]

Well if smoking pot isn’t you and you don’t want it at the place you live tell them. Honestly they seem pretty responsible waiting for a few deadlines to past before smoking, so they seem like the type that would be sympathetic to your stance. There’s nothing wrong with voicing your concern to them, especially if they want it to take place at where you live. Heck I would if pot bothered me.