Housewife Choice

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ExGratia

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I’ve missed you all since I became a Mrs!

I previously wanted to bring up this subject but wanted to wait until it became a reality.

While engaged, my fiance, ahem, husband, and I decided I would be a housewife. The main reason is I felt called to it and we prayed about it and are very happy with our decision.

There are also many practical reasons as follows:
  • I have always felt attracted to the domestic arts: cooking, cleaning,sewing
    -We are completely open to life and would actually like to start a family soon, if it is God’s will
    -We are about to begin a major restoration of a very large very historical house.
    -my husband works very hard and usually 6 days a week and has been on steady midnight shift for 3 months. If I was still working at my office job, we wouldn’t get to spend any time with each other since his awake and home hours would correspond with me being at work or asleep (and that’s not how you get to be unitive and procreative…if you catch my drift! ;))
    -he is super appreciative of all I do to make his life run smoothly.
So, the question is, how do I answer people’s questions about this? I feel that if I say any of those reasons alone I would not be being truthful. For example, we didn’t even know we were going to get the house until long after we decided I would make a home…now quite literally!

Someone after daily Mass asked me if I was headed to work for the day, and I answered truthfully by saying that today I was taking the cat to the vet! But that isn’t the whole truth. I’ve read on here about people being responded to negatively for the choice to stay home, even with children!

What would you say if you were me? And how would you feel about a young, healthy couple making this choice?
 
I think it’s lovely. Tell people it’s the right choice for your family. Period. 🙂
 
Congratulations!!! 🙂

I’m a firm believe in people staying out of other people’s business, so I don’t get why you have to say anything. But I suppose you could say that you both decided that you would run and manage the household and he would work outside the home. 🤷
 
Tell them yes, you are going to work, your job title is “domestic engineer” and let them figure it out. Really, its none of their business what you do or don’t do. As long as you two made the decision and neither of you were manipulated or forced into it, let other people deal with their own issues surrounding wives staying at home, with or without kids.
 
What fun responses! In less than two months, I’ll be able to say:
house painter, bookkeeper, cook, interior decorator, historian, dish washer, window washer, wood refinisher (wood stripper sounds too tawdry!), and I’m sure a few more! Housewife or Homemaker will certainly apply pretty literally.

My husband says to look at them blankly and say “I’m a wife.” 😉 That might come across as rude!

But seriously, there are some people who won’t approve…but it’s our marriage and ultimately our choice! But your support now and in the future means a tremendous amount!
 
Tell people that you both agreed that he would make the living, and you would make the living worthwhile.
 
ExGratia said:
But seriously, there are some people who won’t approve…but it’s our marriage and ultimately our choice! But your support now and in the future means a tremendous amount!
Click to expand...
Them: “Oh, I disapprove.”

Me: “Wow,how lucky your opinion of my marriage doesn’t matter.”
 
ExGratia said:
What fun responses! In less than two months, I’ll be able to say:
house painter, bookkeeper, cook, interior decorator, historian, dish washer, window washer, wood refinisher (wood stripper sounds too tawdry!), and I’m sure a few more! Housewife or Homemaker will certainly apply pretty literally.

My husband says to look at them blankly and say “I’m a wife.” 😉 That might come across as rude!

But seriously, there are some people who won’t approve…but it’s our marriage and ultimately our choice! But your support now and in the future means a tremendous amount!
Click to expand...
I used to say, “I’m a homemaker.” I liked that a lot better than “housewife” or “domestic engineer.” You are making the home, very literally.

But I think “Operations Manager” sounds even better, now that I know what that role usually consists of in business. I think it’s about responding in the moment, to crisis situations, and making sure everything is running smoothly, no matter what function it is. You have to know a little about a heck of a lot and a lot about quite a bit. Sounds like what I did as a wife and mom! Still do, just to a lesser extent now that the “kids” are almost 21 and 18.

I like “I work from home,” that’s an easy one if you sense too much curiosity or a negative attitude.

Hopefully, you will soon be adding “mommy” to that list of titles!

:love:
 
If someone asks you about your job, just tell them you don’t have one. What’s the big deal with that? I can’t imagine WHY anyone would ask you why you don’t have one because the reason could be extremely personal and uncomfortable to talk about. (ex. I lost my job…I have a criminal record…I’m an illegal alien…etc) But if you should happen to meet anyone so ballsy, I think I would go with, “What do you mean, why don’t I have a job!!! Do you even know who I am?! The very idea!” Then stick your nose in the air and waltz away. Or you could go with “MYOB”.
 
ExGratia said:
I’ve missed you all since I became a Mrs!

I previously wanted to bring up this subject but wanted to wait until it became a reality.

While engaged, my fiance, ahem, husband, and I decided I would be a housewife. The main reason is I felt called to it and we prayed about it and are very happy with our decision.

There are also many practical reasons as follows:
  • I have always felt attracted to the domestic arts: cooking, cleaning,sewing
    -We are completely open to life and would actually like to start a family soon, if it is God’s will
    -We are about to begin a major restoration of a very large very historical house.
    -my husband works very hard and usually 6 days a week and has been on steady midnight shift for 3 months. If I was still working at my office job, we wouldn’t get to spend any time with each other since his awake and home hours would correspond with me being at work or asleep (and that’s not how you get to be unitive and procreative…if you catch my drift! ;))
    -he is super appreciative of all I do to make his life run smoothly.
So, the question is, how do I answer people’s questions about this? I feel that if I say any of those reasons alone I would not be being truthful. For example, we didn’t even know we were going to get the house until long after we decided I would make a home…now quite literally!

Someone after daily Mass asked me if I was headed to work for the day, and I answered truthfully by saying that today I was taking the cat to the vet! But that isn’t the whole truth. I’ve read on here about people being responded to negatively for the choice to stay home, even with children!

What would you say if you were me? And how would you feel about a young, healthy couple making this choice?
Click to expand...
This person, and probably 99.9% of the rest of the people who might ask, are very likely just making conversation. Your answer was fine.

If someone knew you before you got married and knew you worked, they probably don’t know you aren’t now. And truthfully, may not be all that interested in the complete details of your career choices. 😉

So, if someone asks if you are headed to work, an answer about taking the cat to the vet, or refinishing the floors is fine. That is your work. Don’t presume that people are asking for a dissertation about your plans for the day or your plans for your life.

It is probably only among other couples who are also working out how they will handle married life that your decision and all the reasons for why you two made it will be the real topic of conversation.
 
You can’t control what people’s reactions to your life are. Some people will think it’s great, and some people will look down on you. If you choose to tell anyone why, you don’t have to list every reason.
 
How wonderful to be a housewife! I’ve recieved a variety of responses form “What a blessing!” to “Really, how can you stand it?” Now that my children are high school age I’m starting to be asked if I’ll be going back to work. I just say that I will have more time for my husband!
 
EnduringMercy said:
How wonderful to be a housewife! I’ve recieved a variety of responses form “What a blessing!” to “Really, how can you stand it?” Now that my children are high school age I’m starting to be asked if I’ll be going back to work. I just say that I will have more time for my husband!
Click to expand...
See, I do actually work (for $$) from home.

My response to this. WHY ON EARTH? Would I work for someone else, on their schedule, at a salary they decide I’m worth? That does not compute. I mean WHO DOES THAT?

And then blank stare.
 
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