Housework: What's Fair?

[Monte_RCMS]

It made my hair stand on end when you said you came home from work and everyone was hungry and wailing, and there was no dinner . Here’s a couple of ideas, some are mine, some my friends’ to help keep everyone fed and happy on busy days;

1. Prepare a meal the night before that can be popped in the oven,
2. Cook double the quantity the family can eat, and reserve half for another meal, (you’d have to both be OK w/ “leftovers” ),
3. Prepare 3 or 4 times the quantity and freeze it for the future when someone can put it in the oven while you’re on your way home, or at the very least, preheat the oven,
4. Order take out when you leave work and pick it up on the way home.

Show “them” how to prepare a meal; doesn’t need to be anything fancy. They can nuke stuff from the freezer or fry up some eggs with salami; not rocket science. Or eat a yogurt. Or eat some cheese and a piece of fruit.

OR, set up a rewards system: the first person to prepare a meal gets a $5 reward.

[Way back when, we set up a system of payments for chores … and it was AMAZING! All of the yelling and admonishing and fighting went away. The kids were begging for more chores to do. The beds were made, the animal cages were kept clean, homework got done … it was wonderful. I saved some of their “invoices” which were hand written spread sheets for the week. Kids will do anything for money.]

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Kids are grown up.

When they were with us, we bribed them to do chores. There NEVER were any arguments and since there was $$MONEY$$ involved, they always were begging for more jobs to do.

They were paid by the job. At the end of each week, they presented us with their invoices. Done in colored pencil, like a spread sheet.

P.S. Bribery works extremely well on getting homework done, memorizing multiplication tables, and etc. In summer, they got paid for reading library books and writing book reports. Amazing!!]

[PPS As soon as they got working papers, they got jobs and I hunted down a mutual fund with a low minimum and set them up with their own IRA’s. We bribed them to max out their contributions to their retirement programs. Now, they look at their balances and are shocked, shocked, I tell you at how much money they have saved and invested. Yes, it’s work, but work can be turned into fun.]

I found one of the “spread sheets” … not dated, unfortunately. And somewhat faded.

Chores performed included:

Piano practice
Clean car
Feed animals
Make bed
Clean bed [change sheets?]
Clean room
Water plants
Misc.

page of paper is filled with calculations … 6% of $3.00 is .18 … [no idea what that was about]

NEW DEAL:

Vacuuming:

Living + Dining
My room
Bathroom
Kitchen

Wash bathroom sink

This “spread sheet” has 18 columns for 18 weeks of work items. And there is the first column about two inches wide that lists the items and the amount for each item.

[Lots of calculations … determined the average cost of each item for the week. No idea what all that detail was all about. Most done in now faded pencil; some in ball point; some in red pencil; some in fine point marker. Difficult to read because of childish printing and scrawl. Paper has been folded and creases make it difficult to read now.]

I have to ask if they saved any of the others.

 

[PetiteFoi]

I just have to share this is my most loved, healthy insta-dinner.
We call it “bouilli” which is “boiled” in french, my mum just calls it “steamed dinner”

In a large pot, put a few inches of water.
Cut up a few carrots, throw 'em in.
Cut up a few potatoes, throw them in.
Cut up half a cabbage throw it in.
Cut up a few sausages, put them on top.

Turn the burner to “high” for 30 minutes, check once to make sure there’s enough water in the pot and keep covered.

That’s it.

It’s INCREDIBLY easy, and I know it looks super plain, but throw some salt and butter on that - it’s delicious!
Seriously one of my favourite meals.

Just thought I’d share.

Peace,

• PetiteFoi

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Everybody has different standards.

Fellow on television: “I invited this girl up to my apartment. She hated it; said it was filthy. She brushed her index finger along the top of my tv and made a ‘groove’ in the dust. I said, ‘hey, how am I gonna fill that in?’”

 

[VirtusTransitus]

For those who are married, or were, I am interested to know how you and your other halves share the housework. Could you also give details about other work you do/responsibilities?

My husband is doing less and less around the house and it is getting me very wound up.

Thanks

First, just a quick overview note. EVERYONE is different. EVERY RELATIONSHIP is different.

That said:

My wife doesn’t enjoy cooking. So I cook when I can, and she cooks when she must. My teenager does the dishes.

I make the bed 70% of the time. On the 30% of the days she’s still in it when I leave for work, she makes the bed.

She does the laundry because she doesn’t trust me to do the laundry (tactical success!). Teenager folds. We all put our own away.

I do the outdoor/lawn work. I do any heavy work.

I never notice things like dusting/vaccum before she does, but happily grab a rag or a vaccum once she points it out.

I do the 4 year old daughter’s hair. I give the youngest two kids baths and get them ready for bed. I read bedtime stories.

Wife makes school lunches 70% of the time.

Wife works about 30% of work days and makes about 10% of our combined salary.

I make 90% of the money, wife handles 90% of the bill paying.

Etc.

There are things she has a “control” mindset on, so she does them. I’m happy to do anything, but she knows she has to bring it to my attention.

Honestly - when my wife is working, it’s an even deal. When my wife is not working, I do WAY more than my share.

Like I said up front, everyone is different. But I’ll tell you this: if my wife smiles at me, calls me baby, and asks me to do something for her (like, could you start vaccuming the living room every saturday morning), I hop to it. Problem is, she hasn’t really figured out the delivery on that one with consistency. When I get the “You couldn’t see that the carpet needs to be vaccumed?” angle, it doesn’t really work as well.

funny, that…

 

[ReddyFreddy]

If something needs to be done, one of us does it. We don’t have specific chores. We just work together to get things done.

I probably do the majority of housework since I stay at home but DH never complains when he wants to help out. It’s much appreciated.