How are men supposed to make their romantic intentions known in the aftermath of metoo?

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Maybe, maybe not. Let all chime in with their experiences. I think they will be all over the board. I think expectations vary greatly.
 
Generally the move is more like “Hi, I know a great coffee place, are you free Sunday afternoon?”
 
That’s not really the first move. Many women will just think you’re just trying to be friends unless you go beyond that and break the touch barrier.

especially nowadays. even if you go out with a girl and say that, many girls won’t think it’s a date, they’ll think it’s just hanging out
 
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I know how to ask for a date, I was just responding to the other guy
 
My husband’s first sign of physical affection was holding my hand. The second was kissing my hand. We didn’t kiss on the lips until the same date where we decided we were a couple.

And there was no question in my mind before that as to whether he was interested in me.
 
True, best to progress from holding hands and then to leaning in for a kiss…
 
And start generally with women you know in a social context, or at least by getting to know them non-romantically. Coworker dates do happen but they can be dicier if you’re not good at reading people. Woman reading her book at the bus stop is probably not, but if she’s ok talking to you take it slow. Get to know her before you make a move.

That’ll help for Catholic guys especially. A lady who wants a husband wants to know he’s taken the time to learn about her, much more than a lady who wants a hookup.
 
FloridaCatholic said:
I was always told by guys not to ask a girl to kiss them and to just go for it because girls don’t respect guys who ask and you’ll miss your shot. Is that just toxic masculinity?
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Yes.

A gentleman never imposes himself on his date.

Pre-marriage kissing is a chaste kiss. That happens only if you are both comfortable with it.
FloridaCatholic said:
men are the ones who are expected traditionally to make the first move and be the aggressor.
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Aggression has no part in romance, friendship or in a Christian marriage.
 
Find some Christian friends! A Catholic Young Adult group or Catholic professional association.
 
FloridaCatholic said:
Many women will just think you’re just trying to be friends unless you go beyond that and break the touch barrier.
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Sorry for serial posting, but, this is straight from a “how to be a hook up artist” playbook.

Dating is for the purpose of trying to find a spouse. It is not a game, not something where you use an invisible playbook. It is honest and forthright.

Marriage does not last long if the two people are not best friends. To put friendship as a lesser thing, that is so messed up and when you think about it, it reduces relationship to quick hookups and free sex.

Hope that women want to be your friend!
 
For what it’s worth, my then-future husband asked if I would mind if he put his arm around me while we were standing with a group of friends at a party (this was AFTER he had asked me to dance a slow dance with him.) Then he asked if I would mind holding hands.

We went on our first date soon afterward and there was no question about whether or not I wanted him to kiss me
 
jlc2k2 said:
My husband’s first sign of physical affection was holding my hand. The second was kissing my hand. We didn’t kiss on the lips until the same date where we decided we were a couple.

And there was no question in my mind before that as to whether he was interested in me.
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This is the best, and in my opinion the only correct, answer. Try to hold her hand. If it isn’t a success, then you know where you stand. Not nearly as embarrassing as going in for a kiss and her pulling away or yelling at you. If she is cool with holding hands, she will be cool with a kiss the next time.
 
FloridaCatholic said:
Isn’t making the first move supposed to be something you do that’s unannounced?
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You are 27 years old. No need for games or what cool guys do, or don’t do, or for what everyone else does.

Ask women on proper dates. “I would like to take you out on a date”. No ambiguity.

On or after said date, if you are interested, say something like “I had a really nice time, I’d like to take you out again.”

After that, if you are on another date, ask if she is OK with hand holding, putting your arm around her, etc. at the movies or waking or in the car… and then at the end of the date say, “I’d like to kiss you goodnight”. In the absence of any objection, lean in and kiss her.

That sort of progression and clear messages give her plenty of opportunities to change course if she’s not interested.
 
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