It’s kind of a catch 22. I also don’t have any real friends and that makes it nearly impossible to make friends. I get home from work and generally can’t think of anything I want to go do by myself so I just stay home. Hard to meet people when you don’t leave home. No real reason to leave home if you can’t think of anything you want to do by yourself.
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ConfusedLucy
Guest
You can’t make yourself compatible with people when you’re not. I’m sorry but these may not be the right people for you. I would keep going to Bible study but you might be better off accepting that it wont lead to friendships otherwise you will just get frustrated.
Do you have any other options for meeting potential friends?
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DarkLight
Guest
I’m honestly just not sure where people my age are supposed to go. I’m past the college age but not really into the older generation yet.
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ConfusedLucy
Guest
I honestly don’t know, few of us go to Catholic churches and it’s hard for the ones who do remain. I just think you have to be careful about trying so hard you get frustrated and resentful which can push you away from your faith.
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Rose71
Guest
how many ties do you have to the place where you live and how flexible is your work? Have you got the time and resources to go on a singles holiday, or volunteer for a couple of weeks or longer on a charity project, so you are living and working with others with a similar interest?There’s no magic solution. Friends come in all shapes and sizes and ages and from all sorts of places. Good luck!
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DarkLight
Guest
Generally work is pretty inflexible, and whatever time off I get has to be devoted to working on schoolwork. Part of the problem is I have to work evenings and weekends, which leaves me unable to attend a lot of activities.
There’s no magic solution. Friends come in all shapes and sizes and ages and from all sorts of places. Good luck!
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ConfusedLucy
Guest
That sounds really difficult and isolating, is there any way you could connect with people on similar shifts? Other than that would taking a look at your workload and trying to change things be an option. It isn’t good to isolate yourself.
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lax16
Guest
I have often thought there should be an online “dating” site for people to meet friends.
I know so many young people that are lonely that if they could just meet up with each other, they would have all have friends!
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pensmama87
Guest
One website that was great for me was Meetup. If you live in a populated area, there are groups hosting meetups for all kinds of interests and hobbies, for friendship.
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Geist
Guest
My wife and I are not from this state originally, so we don’t know anyone, and we both work from home.
So…we don’t have any friends. like you we do KNOW people at Church and all, but don’t know them well.
It’s not a big deal for us. We’re busy with kids and work as it is.
it’s not just single people rocking the friendless lifestyle.
So…we don’t have any friends. like you we do KNOW people at Church and all, but don’t know them well.
It’s not a big deal for us. We’re busy with kids and work as it is.
it’s not just single people rocking the friendless lifestyle.
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ShrodingersCat
Guest
I suggest:
- Joining a couple more groups you are interested in - often joining a choir or something like that would be free or have a small membership fee for the year. Volunteering is also an option.
- Bite the bullet and ask someone during a chat if they would like to meet up outside of whatever group you are a part of. Groups such as musical societies would have regular social events and it would be easier to get to know people closely.
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DarkLight
Guest
The trouble is I don’t have free time to join other activities. I have to work during the evenings - three evenings off is all I have and each one has an activity on it already.
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dangerousdyls
Guest
I agree that post-school it’s more difficult to keep intimate, regular friendships. I’m sort of in the same boat, I’d like some close friends that share my values, but I haven’t really made those sort of connections. I’m 31 and I feel like I’m in a bit of no-man’s land sometimes.
But, it’s largely my own fault. I’ve learned over the years that it comes down to initiative and effort. I used to be someone who would always be “along for the ride” and let others make plans. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that doesn’t really build friendships…sometimes you’ve got to make yourself a bit vulnerable and make something happen yourself.
That’s a bit more tricky without a car or too much spending money, but I’m sure you can figure some things out. Keep it in your prayers too
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Rosebud77
Guest
You are kidding?The Church itself teaches that 'everyone should embrace their sexual identity
**2333 **“Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his sexual identity. Physical, moral, and spiritual difference and complementarity are oriented toward the goods of marriage and the flourishing of family life. The harmony of the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which the complementarity, needs, and mutual support between the sexes are lived out.”
I understand why secular women would want to avoid marriage, but Catholic women…???
There are some who are better off being single, such as being nuns and priests, yeah, but to actively reject the fruits of sexuality is… I]evil]!
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Rosebud77
Guest
Fascinating thread… I used to be desperately lonely but for very different reasons . I have one very close but in Canada and I am in Ireland… and one or two email friends who comeover every few years.
My age and illness are very limiting so this is enough for me.
When I shop, I chat with the shop people who know me and sometimes when I go into the quuer Cathedral will get chatting then and at market a whole host
Can you maybe join one evening class if yiou have them there? A common interest and a regular meeting
Sometimes though it needs just accepting where you are and settling for that . The loss of the worry will avail much.
My age and illness are very limiting so this is enough for me.
When I shop, I chat with the shop people who know me and sometimes when I go into the quuer Cathedral will get chatting then and at market a whole host
Can you maybe join one evening class if yiou have them there? A common interest and a regular meeting
Sometimes though it needs just accepting where you are and settling for that . The loss of the worry will avail much.
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ConfusedLucy
Guest
I hate to discourage anyone from church group or bible study but I wonder if you need to find something else. It sounds like you have given it a good go and it isn’t working out in a way that will help your friendships.
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struggling4him
Guest
Seriously? Thats all you can ****ing ask about? What kind of dumb **** is this?
It’s also important to have a group of friends. I’ve never managed to be able to do this. There would be individuals I’d be friends with, X, Y, and Z but it was on an individual basis and there was no connection between them. I’d either do something with X or Y or Z. The problem comes that they have their own groups that I wasn’t a part of. When a holiday comes or something like that, X would go hang out with his group of friends, Y and Z would do the same. Because I wasn’t a part of their groups, I’m left high and dry.
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GEddie
Guest
I don’t think they are.
Sadly, there are many even within the Church who seem to hold that everybody is “called” to marriage and family, and that, with the exception of a few “religious” vocations, something is wrong with those who aren’t in or actively seeking such.
Against that, however, God **never **promises everybody a mate. It’s just not there.
ICXC NIKA
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ConfusedLucy
Guest
I agree, it’s just more straightforward with a group. If I make a friend and they show no sign of wanting to include me in their group I can’t help but question the friendship. My friendship group are always up for meeting people’s new buddies.
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