How bad is this?

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My son (8) had his first communion this weekend. He was very well behaved and we had a great Mass. Really, really good.

However, after the reception, my son was on the phone with my sister. They RARELY speak. She’s a very tough Mom. My son was telling her about the mass and then our dog started barking. He said "oh, that’s just my dog. Then, he got silly and said “wouldn’t it be crazy if dog’s had first communion too? They go to Heaven…”

My sister cut him off (he was on speaker) and it sounded severe. My son was pretty upset about her “tone”…

I was wondering if her “tone” and verbal punishment toward him was warranted?

I just thought…he’s 8. But, maybe I was too lenient?
 
Kids say silly things and like to imagine crazy and wonderful things that could never happen. I think your sister’s response was unwarranted. I feel sorry for your son being rebuked so harshly. Definitely reassure him that he is okay, and that using one’s imagination is acceptable and fun.
 
mega1 said:
My son (8) had his first communion this weekend. He was very well behaved and we had a great Mass. Really, really good.

However, after the reception, my son was on the phone with my sister. They RARELY speak. She’s a very tough Mom. My son was telling her about the mass and then our dog started barking. He said "oh, that’s just my dog. Then, he got silly and said “wouldn’t it be crazy if dog’s had first communion too? They go to Heaven…”

My sister cut him off (he was on speaker) and it sounded severe. My son was pretty upset about her “tone”…

I was wondering if her “tone” and verbal punishment toward him was warranted?

I just thought…he’s 8. But, maybe I was too lenient?
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I don’t see anything that your son said that warranted a severe tone from your sister, or any reprimand at all. He was just a good kid being a bit silly, based on what you have written here. And there is nothing wrong with that.
 
You’ll excuse me for saying so, but your sister had no business rebuking your son, especially not over such a silly thing as that. You are his mother, not her. I think you need to make that clear to your sister.
 
Well, my mother and sister are EXTREME Catholics. Not that is a bad thing…but they talk poorly of some priests and even the Vatican …because they think that many are too disrespectful to the religion and the traditions. In fact, my sister said she went to a few retreats that she left early from because she felt they were saying prayers wrong.

So, needless to say, my Mother and Sister are not close with me…my sister and her family have been invited to our home for several holidays and my son’s first communion and she never comes. We live out of state and she says it’s just too expensive. I have lived/worked out of state for 12 years now and she’s only visited once. And that was because my mother bought her ticket.

So…I can’t tell her to back off. I will just tell my son it’s okay.

But, I heard my sister on the phone with my mother (she had the volume too high) and my sister said “boy, I bet you can’t wait to get out of there…” and then my Mom said “yes, the flight is going to be leaving in a few hours” and my sister said “and that KID!” and my mom interrupted her and said “well, your sister is sitting right here”…

It left me very, very sad. I went into my room and shut the door and cried. It’s just hard…but, I didn’t say a word. I made the trip as pleasant as I could for her.
 
Respectfully, your sister sounds bonkers, and I feel terrible for your son that he had to get harshly chastised for such an innocent thought.
 
I’m sorry to hear about how your sister and mother think and their cruel words. :console: I feel badly for them, almost worse than for you and your son. At least you can see that what they are doing is wrong-headed as well as wrong-hearted. Yes, all you can do is explain the situation to your son, telling him that you must forgive them and pray for them. At 8 it won’t be easy for him to understand, but at least he doesn’t have to have contact with them very often. Perhaps the best thing all things considered, yes?
 
Ugh! If this is the treatment that you are accustomed to receiving from your family members, no wonder it has been so difficult for you to recognize the emotional abuse you are receiving from your husband. You are virtually surrounded by people who use their tongues as deadly weapons and turn that weapon upon their closest loved ones. How horrible for you, dear sister in Christ! I will pray for you.
 
mega1 said:
Well, my mother and sister are EXTREME Catholics. Not that is a bad thing…but they talk poorly of some priests and even the Vatican …because they think that many are too disrespectful to the religion and the traditions. In fact, my sister said she went to a few retreats that she left early from because she felt they were saying prayers wrong.

So, needless to say, my Mother and Sister are not close with me…my sister and her family have been invited to our home for several holidays and my son’s first communion and she never comes. We live out of state and she says it’s just too expensive. I have lived/worked out of state for 12 years now and she’s only visited once. And that was because my mother bought her ticket.

So…I can’t tell her to back off. I will just tell my son it’s okay.

But, I heard my sister on the phone with my mother (she had the volume too high) and my sister said “boy, I bet you can’t wait to get out of there…” and then my Mom said “yes, the flight is going to be leaving in a few hours” and my sister said “and that KID!” and my mom interrupted her and said “well, your sister is sitting right here”…

It left me very, very sad. I went into my room and shut the door and cried. It’s just hard…but, I didn’t say a word. I made the trip as pleasant as I could for her.
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Your mother and sister sound like toxic twins. If I were you I would commit to emotionally detaching from them and teach your son not to take their words personally also. I found I had to do this with my father in law and sister in law. Both were very short tempered and opinionated. I used to try and make excuses for them but at the same time discourage my children from taking them personally. It’s a fine line. You don’t want to ‘get off’ on criticising them because that can be just as toxic and judgemental… but you don’t want to be a victim either.

There’s that overused cliche… “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” You have to approach these people in a new way. Expect the worst and accept them anyway. You might find the strength inside yourself to calmly state your disagreement with them when they come out with rubbish.

God bless.
 
Toxic twins. Oh my gosh… That is good and unfortunately… Accurate.
It has been why I have nearly eliminated them from my life. With my sister, it’s just strange behavior. Actually both of them…they just feel and act superior. They go to adoration all the time and they have become BFF with nearly every priest in their suburb. And they use that as a way to brag and make themselves seem superior. When my grandfather died … They had all these priests come in for the wake and (I’ve lived out of state for 12 years) they made it a point to introduce them all to me and call me the “woman who moved away from us”. They’d laugh and say sarcastically "she thought she was better than this town ". And even the priests chuckled.

I felt so awful the whole time! I couldn’t wait to go home. But then I had my husband being toxic in his own way because he was annoyed with them too! It is just unfortunate.
 
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