How can a child help restore her parents' marriage?

[youngsterat16]

What are some ways I can help my parents reconnect again? Their marriage is a bit, distant emotionally. I know its their issue and ultimately they have to do something about it, but I’ve wondered what parents’ children can do as a sort of mediator in the situation. Since we are a large impact in a marriage. I don’t know how my parents are talking to my other siblings, and maybe its just me, but I feel like I hear the brunt of both of my parents’ sides more then they do. Or maybe it’s just when they complain to me, I pay attention more .

I’ve also snooped around the house in my younger days and found letters my mom has written to my dad and other such items. Most I remember my mom saying she feels they are falling apart but she wants to find a way to fix it and get closer again.

I’m rambling, but my question is what can I as their child do? Obviously stay out of trouble, get my work done, pray, etc. I just wanted to see if there was any way I can give them opportunities to do things together without it causing issues. Or maybe just talk to them about my thoughts.

Is there anything I can do to help?

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

What are some ways I can help my parents reconnect again? Their marriage is a bit, distant emotionally. I know its their issue and ultimately they have to do something about it, but I’ve wondered what parents’ children can do as a sort of mediator in the situation. Since we are a large impact in a marriage. I don’t know how my parents are talking to my other siblings, and maybe its just me, but I feel like I hear the brunt of both of my parents’ sides more then they do. Or maybe it’s just when they complain to me, I pay attention more .

I’ve also snooped around the house in my younger days and found letters my mom has written to my dad and other such items. Most I remember my mom saying she feels they are falling apart but she wants to find a way to fix it and get closer again.

I’m rambling, but my question is what can I as their child do? Obviously stay out of trouble, get my work done, pray, etc. I just wanted to see if there was any way I can give them opportunities to do things together without it causing issues. Or maybe just talk to them about my thoughts.

Is there anything I can do to help?

Life is not “the parent trap”.

There is little you can do to affect your parents besides pray.

The best thing you can do is accept things as they are and find either seasoned and experianced help or professional help to deal with issues as they occur.

 

[youngsterat16]

Oh they aren’t near divorce or anything as such, they still love each other I know. I understand that I can do little to help since its their marriage and not mine. They just ultimately don’t spend as much time together and I was just wondering if what I say makes a difference or if say I suggest a trip to wherever one day or some activity or finding a retreat to suggest they go on, etc.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Oh they aren’t near divorce or anything as such, they still love each other I know. I understand that I can do little to help since its their marriage and not mine. They just ultimately don’t spend as much time together and I was just wondering if what I say makes a difference or if say I suggest a trip to wherever one day or some activity or finding a retreat to suggest they go on, etc.

I know you have good intentions, but it is not your place to do so.

If they have a good relationship with either of their parents, you could ask their advice and perhaps encourage them to utilize their parental knowledge and talk to their children, your parents.

There is something about not being able to take advice from a person who’s butt you powdered. I think it’s wise advice. If you put yourself between your parents you could end up creating worse resentments between them.

 

[JetteZ]

It would be appropriate to tell them how you feel when they talk to you about their relationship or that you are feeling anxious because of what you sense or see.

I can’t exactly tell from your posts what they may have said to you about their relationship but if it crosses into blaming or talking poorly about the other it is inappropriate.

I’d want to know if our behavior was making our children feel unpleasant feelings.