How can a shy person serve God?

[GlorytoJesus]

I want to give my entire life for Jesus - I want to be like Him, and I want Him to work through me. But my biggest cross that makes this so difficult is inhibiting shyness and social inexperience/awkwardness.

I look at the people who helped bring Christ into my life - They were vibrant, outgoing, confident, friendly, outreaching individuals who had a warmth of love and care which they generously gave to all the people they met.

It makes me feel so inferior and insufficient, because however hard I try it feels entirely out of my capacity to serve God in that wonderful way.

So how am I to “take up my cross”? Must I work actively to get rid of my shyness, because it seems to be a block in the way of service to God, or am I to somehow find ways to serve God within the context of my unfortunate personality? (How?)

It doesn’t seem like a poured-out life to live as a recluse, keeping to myself for the most part and avoiding uncomfortable situations. The best thing I am able to do as far as I can see is to give myself up to prayer for all the people whom I am unable to reach in any other way.

On the other hand, I could make a concerted effort to be friendly and giving and put myself in situations of service. In order to do that I would have to totally sacrifice my comfort and allow myself to be humiliated by my own inevitable awkwardness. But through past experience, even trying my hardest to be friendly and giving I feel like all I do is make other people feel uncomfortable, and put the burden of charity on them.

So what can a shy person do to serve God and spread His love and the gospel?

 

[hazcompat]

your off to a good start? i did not notice your shyness at all.

peace

 

[Barbkw]

Are you able to talk with a person one-on-one?

I joined Hospice (and there are many other volunteer organizations) and primarily I speak with one lady and her roommate.)

I joined ESL (English as a second language) and primarily I speak with the one person who has requested my help.

Baby steps, start small and kind your C-legs.

 

[the_phoenix]

Then there’s always your nearest Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration Chapel …
it’s likely they’re in need of someone to sign up and commit to one hour per week.
This is what I feel I was called to do at my parish.
Then too, I tend towards the Carthusian charism of
“Silence and Solitude.”

Whichever direction you decide to go, pray about it, discern,
and make a joyful decision!

 

[dcrowmik]

So what can a shy person do to serve God and spread His love and the gospel?

You can be a pray-er. Pray mightily for others. Prayer produces power.

 

[LoyalViews]

You could be a hermit! Always a good way to serve Our Lord, Our Lady, the Saints, the Angels, the Church, and the Vicar of Christ!

 

[Jingles]

There are religious orders that you could join that would be good for a shy person.

If you are not interested in becoming a religious, you could join a Toastmasters club. There are many shy people in my club that joined to gain confidence. One woman joined so that she could be a lecture at Mass… and now she reads monthly. YAY!

While you are discerning, you could find a shy Saint and ask for his/her intercession.

 

[ByzCathCantor]

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land!

We pray your shyness is really an outward manifestation of your humility, the most noble of virtues!

 

[stanncie]

Hi OP

I’m not shy in the least but I have a good friend who is quite introverted and has difficulty speaking to large or even small groups. Having said that I admire her very much because she’s constantly serving our parish in a number of ways.

I met her in a Young Adult group and like you stated she tried very hard to break out of her shell and did the best she could when asked to say prayers or present a topic. Granted she was not great but her effort touched many.

More importantly she found her niche and is now in charge of producing the weekly bulletin (she’s a professional graphic artist) she was too shy to ask Father but the group leader did it for her hehe.

She also helps in the weekly Doctrine class by preparing the power point presentations , the information is given to her by the main presenter. She and a friend also buy snacks and make the attendees feel welcome not by saying much but by providing food and having everything run smoothly.

Since the young adult group is in charge of organizing parish trips she helps in the logistic part of it. Other more outgoing members make the announcements and promote them but she is always working behind the scenes organizing everything.

You might not do any of these things but I can assure you there is something that you can do well. I started by telling you i’m not shy at all and this helps me to make end of mass announcements, give lectures, lead people in prayer etc. However i’m awful at organizing anything since i’m not an organized person, i’m absentminded and tend no to pay close attention to almost anything. So you see we need all types of personalities and I’m sure you have many talents that you can gift to your parish.

Many blessings

 

[Bezant]

St. Therese of Liseux!

 

[EmeraldWings]

I want to give my entire life for Jesus - I want to be like Him, and I want Him to work through me. But my biggest cross that makes this so difficult is inhibiting shyness and social inexperience/awkwardness.

I look at the people who helped bring Christ into my life - They were vibrant, outgoing, confident, friendly, outreaching individuals who had a warmth of love and care which they generously gave to all the people they met.

It makes me feel so inferior and insufficient, because however hard I try it feels entirely out of my capacity to serve God in that wonderful way.

So how am I to “take up my cross”? Must I work actively to get rid of my shyness, because it seems to be a block in the way of service to God, or am I to somehow find ways to serve God within the context of my unfortunate personality? (How?)

It doesn’t seem like a poured-out life to live as a recluse, keeping to myself for the most part and avoiding uncomfortable situations. The best thing I am able to do as far as I can see is to give myself up to prayer for all the people whom I am unable to reach in any other way.

On the other hand, I could make a concerted effort to be friendly and giving and put myself in situations of service. In order to do that I would have to totally sacrifice my comfort and allow myself to be humiliated by my own inevitable awkwardness. But through past experience, even trying my hardest to be friendly and giving I feel like all I do is make other people feel uncomfortable, and put the burden of charity on them.

So what can a shy person do to serve God and spread His love and the gospel?

Have you ever read Saint Therese’s “Story of a soul”? - tanbooks.benedictpress.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/828

even though it may not feel like it, it is Gods will that you are shy, not that you are meant to accept and conform to your shyness, but God has allowed it for a reason, and you can make good use of it even though it seems like more of an impediment rather than a gift,
i can’t tell you why you’re shy or what good it is for you, that’s something you’d have to meditate on and pray on, but some light sides to shyness just to get you started, for one, it makes you a deeper thinker, and most shy people tend to be more independent, and often times shyness is a kind of shelter from the many evils of the world, and it gives you much more time to grow closer to God and to grow in holiness…i know it seems like more of a mental problem(as the world would have us believe) but there’s really nothing wrong with it,
although that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t brush up on your communication skills, there are still things you can do to make yourself more comfortable with talking and to be less awkward.

but i think one thing that will help you is to really learn to know yourself, and for that i’d recommend reading about the 4 temperaments, but more specifically the phlegmatic and melancholic temperaments in these articles here - fav.me/d4kdxel

so, i would just recommend reading those two things(the book and the articles) reading about Saint Therese’s “little way” will answer your questions about how to serve God…and we are all called to serve Him differently, God gives us gifts and graces often according to how we are to serve Him in this life.

and just pray on it, if you sincerely wish to serve God, then He will show you how.

 

[Joannm]

I have to guess that Mary, mother of Jesus, and Mary Magdelaine, as another example, were very, very shy people…they did so much importance and yet, we barely see them or hear from them in the gospels or the rest of the bible. Just because one is shy and humble and quiet and stays in the background and is not aggressively out there, doesn’t mean you can’t follow your religion well and…if you want, “give your entire life” to it.
There are many different personalities in this world and it takes all kinds to make a family. No one type is better than another–each is different and unique and fabulous in their own way and we need each one.
Just be yourself! You are fine!

Why would you think these two women were shy. I have never ever thought of our Lady as shy. In fact, I see her as a very strong woman, sure of who she is and unafraid to follow her Son and she probably worked to spread His message. Mary Magdalene definitely was not shy. She has been called the Apostle to the Apostles and it is believed she traveled to Europe spreading the Gospel. Just because the Scriptures don’t say as much about them as they do other, does not mean they were shy.

I was/am a very shy person. I am a wall flower at parties, I don’t like to talk on the phone or call people. I hesitate to talk to people. Yet I am what someone called an “occupational extrovert.” In my ministry I become another person. People don’t believe me when I tell them I am really a shy person. And something else, in all my years of working with clergy, I have found that many of them are shy men. The Holy Spirit gives them the ability to go beyond their shyness and minister to God’s people.

 

[Romojr50]

I’m a person who also tends to be pretty shy as well. Like some people on the thread have mentioned, the key is baby steps. If you feel strongly about a group or program that would help you love and serve the Lord, try to take a small step or make an action that only makes you slightly uncomfortable. It gets much easier once you get your feet wet, so to speak.

That said, there is such a thing as leading by example as well. Just living your life, trying your best to serve the Lord in whatever capacity you can, can teach and inspire others.

One thing to watch out for is that, if you’re like me, you withdraw from people as a defense mechanism but sometimes the “fight comes to you.” It is a common failing of mine to stand up to the faith when it is challenged by other people; I don’t want to risk a confrontation. This is something all of us, shy or not, have to deal with and so I know I have to work on doing better in this department and I would guess it’s a common difficulty for shy people in general.

 

[Monica4316]

I wouldn’t say that being shy makes you any less of a Christian God can still work through you in the lives of others. Just seek His glory and show His love to everyone you meet, it doesn’t have to be in extraordinary ways neither do you need to act very extroverted. It’s not our personality, it’s grace working through our personality and perfecting it, what matters… and it’s not what we do, it’s the love with which you do it. It doesn’t matter so much then, if a person is shy or extroverted. And if it’s ever God’s will for you to not be shy anymore, then He will make this happen. I also agree with taking little steps, but I don’t think that shyness makes anyone less of a Christian… what counts is seeking God’s glory and loving Him above all things. Being shy could also have advantages in your spiritual life.

God bless!

 

[anodos]

Thanks for posting the question, OP. I am an introvert, and I also have a great deal of social anxiety (which is not the same thing). In spite of my efforts, I will never be an outgoing person. Please don’t think that you have to change your personality in order to obey and serve God; I have gone that route and become miserable. I have come to realize that when people see my quiet exterior, they usually EXPECT that I will probably be a shy, quiet person; I shouldn’t pretend to be something I’m not, I can’t fool anyone anyway.
Perhaps you are able to express yourself in writing. When you do have “confrontations”, try to look people in the eye…smile…don’t pretend to have answers when you don’t have them, just be honest and respectful of the other person. These are little ways that you can serve.

 

[in_servitude]

I want to give my entire life for Jesus - I want to be like Him, and I want Him to work through me.

How much is your entire life? Would you be willing to give as much as St. Pio? (I say this because I wish I could offer as much, but I fear it at this time.)

I look at the people who helped bring Christ into my life - They were vibrant, outgoing, confident, friendly, outreaching individuals who had a warmth of love and care which they generously gave to all the people they met.

It’s so easy to see the charisms of others (especially where we are weak) while failing to see those charisms that we have.

It makes me feel so inferior and insufficient, because however hard I try it feels entirely out of my capacity to serve God in that wonderful way.

Did God make you insufficient? While it’s easy for me to ask this of others, I should look at this myself because I also paint myself as insufficient. Perhaps we have been given gifts that He would have us use for His glory.

So what can a shy person do to serve God and spread His love and the gospel?

Something that I have done in the past and continue to do now is to offer to carry the emotional and spiritual burdens of others. He will decide what to do with you from there. In my case, He has not rejected my offers. (I have considered offering to carry the physical burdens of others too, but when I go to the dentist, I quickly realize that I have no strength in that area.)

 

[HonoraDominum]

Have you studied much Carmelite spirituality? In the spirituality, much is discussed about the “desert” of Carmel, the place to be alone with the Alone. The charism of Carmel is forming an intimate friendship with Christ and God, finding Him within yourself. Learning about Carmelite spirituality has helped me appreciate my God-given ability for an interior prayer life and an apostolate that revolves around sacrifice and solitude with Him.

Here’s one of my very favorite quotes about the Carmelite vocation, from Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity (emphasis added):

To live in the presence of God; that is surely an inheritance left to the children of Carmel by the prophet Elijah, who cried out in the fervor of his faith:

“The God I serve is a living God”… A life of prayer is the essence of the Carmelite vocation; the heart to heart communion that never ends, because when one loves, one no longer belongs to oneself but to the Beloved, and so lives more in Him than in oneself. That is what life in Carmel means: to live in God, contemplating His goodness and beauty, and dedicated entirely to the fulfillment of His blessed Will. Then every immolation, every sacrifice becomes divine; through everything the soul sees Him whom she loves and everything leads her to Him… it is a continual communion. All day long she surrenders herself to Love, by doing the will of God, under His gaze, with Him, in Him, for Him alone.

This is the life of a Carmelite: to be a true contemplative, another Magdalene whom nothing can distract from the ‘one thing necessary’.** I want to be an apostle from the depths of my beloved solitude in Carmel; I want to work for God’s glory and the good of all His people, especially His priests; and for that I must be full of Him.** Then I should be all-powerful: a look, a wish, would become an irresistible prayer that could obtain everything one asks in the Name of Jesus. I want to remain like Mary Magdalene silent and adoring at the Master’s feet, asking Him to make the words of apostles bear fruit in souls.

As Our Lord dwells within us, His prayer is ours, and I want to share in it unceasingly, remaining like a little vessel at the spring, at the fountain of life, and so be able to communicate it to others by letting its floods of charity overflow.

How sublime is the Carmelite’s mission! She should be a mediatrix with Jesus Christ, and be for Him, as it were, another humanity in which He can perpetuate His life of reparation and sacrifice, of love and praise and adoration. She abides faithfully in prayerful silence and solitude so that the Most High God may be able to realize His desires in her, accomplishing His will in her as an instrument of His love and peace among His people.

So, on the mountain of Carmel, in silence, in solitude, in a prayer which is unceasing, for nothing can interrupt it, the Carmelite already lives as though in heaven: for God alone! The same God who will one day be her beatitude and will fulfill her desires in glory, is already giving Himself to her here on earth. He never leaves her, He dwells in the depths of her being, and more wonderful still, He and she are but one. And so she is hungry for silence and prayer that she may always listen to Him and penetrate more deeply into His infinite Being. She identifies herself with Him whom she loves, she finds Him everywhere. She sees Him shining through everything. She belongs to Him alone, and trusts completely in His loving and faithful providence. Is that not heaven on earth?

When you think of the life of the Carmelite, thank Him for the beautiful portion that is hers. What will it be like in heaven, if even here below He enters into such intimate union with those who love Him?

Here in Carmel, there is nothing, nothing but God. He is all, He suffices, and one lives for Him alone and for His glory… this life of prayer and contemplation, interceding always for His people before the Face of God…

Every time I read that quote, I want to run off to a Carmelite convent and become a nun. (I’m pretty sure my husband would not approve, however.) Whenever I get caught up in the struggles of my journey towards God through the desert of Carmel, whenever I feel lonely or sad or confused, I read that quote and it reminds me what I want above all else - to know God, so I can love God. I pray for that grace multiple times a day.

My priest always says if we were made for God, and God is love, then we were made to Love God. St. Augustine says, “Love God and do as you will.” When you have that union, that love that cannot be denied between you and the Almighty, all that you do, whatever you do, will be for love of Him, and therefore will bring you true happiness.

 

[anodos]

In the spirituality, much is discussed about the “desert” of Carmel, the place to be alone with the Alone.

This is intriguing. In RCIA recently we were asked why we were attracted to Jesus. Not everyone answered (the more people, the less talking), but I realized that He is attractive to me mainly because He is Alone.

 

[GlorytoJesus]

Something that I have done in the past and continue to do now is to offer to carry the emotional and spiritual burdens of others. He will decide what to do with you from there. In my case, He has not rejected my offers. (I have considered offering to carry the physical burdens of others too, but when I go to the dentist, I quickly realize that I have no strength in that area.)

What do you mean by this? Do you pray to God asking that He relieve other people from their burdens and place them on you? Have you found that God allows this for you? Or do you mean carrying their burdens through compassionate interaction?

 

[in_servitude]

What do you mean by this? Do you pray to God asking that He relieve other people from their burdens and place them on you? Have you found that God allows this for you? Or do you mean carrying their burdens through compassionate interaction?

I do as you say - I pray to God and offer to carry the emotional and spiritual burdens of others as He would see fit. As for myself, God has accepted my offer. He is gentle - He starts slow and allows you to ease into it. My nights are increasingly difficult, my days are increasingly burdensome. I ask God to expand my capacity to carry more burdens, and I offer that back to Him to all Him to give me more to carry. I encourage this activity. I don’t know if this is the right way to put it, but I feel like it has given me the slightest taste of the cross. When I EM - the experience is intense. For me, Mass is intense with the sacrifice of Jesus made present.

After reading about St. Pio, I became inspired to do this. St. Pio prayed to Jesus saying that he wanted “to carry the suffering of the world.” St. Pio said that he just didn’t know how to do it. Then, he received the stigmata.

Basically, some people offer themselves to be “victim souls.” I’ve taken a small step in that direction. In one case, I have met a person affected by my offering. It was at the beginning of my offering to God several years ago, and I was not as generic with my offering. It would take quite a while to explain all of it, but all I can say is that God is huge and can do anything.

Some people are called to do this, and some are not. You can discern this for yourself.