How can I be a good witness in a situation like this?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Emilyfromohio
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
E

Emilyfromohio

Guest
I was hoping I could get some advice from you guys

I have a few guy friends that like to joke around alot by teasing one another .They tease me alot as well, and usually it doesn’t go over the line

I am 90% sure they know I am catholic, and they already know that I do not think one should have sex until marring. Earlier today, one of them asked “Are you going to a strip club tonight”? The teasing was not mean spirited, and it didn’t totally offend me

I laughed and told them no, then I said that I was waiting for sex untill marriage I tried to explain why I felt this way, but somehow they changed the topic, really not paying attention to what I was saying.

I do not know if these guys are even Christian. I always felt that living an exsample as a Catholic would be the first part to being a good witness. But, if they make this joke again, even if it was not mean spirited, should I tell them to stop making the joke? Should I try and find out if they believe in God, and if so, how?

How can I be a good witness in a situation like this?
 
Hi,

I work in a situation like this. Sometimes jokes are really bad, and the name of Jesus and God is abused alot. To me it seems that they are not interested in religion. What I do, I pray often in reparation, and try not to participate. Usually I use ‘reason’ to bring them to see some light. But they know I am catholic, they see my rosary and pictures of our Lady in my stuff. In a way, I act in a way which does not give them a way of calling me fondementalist, yet which witness to them. I grab good occasion to insert a ‘reasonable’ aproch. Time your interventions well, so they fit well in the context…

My advice is stay yourself. Try to stand on the ‘common ground’ of reason. This way, they will not find an excuse to see you as fondementalist. And any wrong they do, you will be a perpetual reminder that it is not a ‘right’ thing to do.
Look at it with the example Paul gave. Milk is for babes, and meat for grown ups. Just because you know the high logic and truth, it does not mean they are ready for them. If you give it, like babes (who would throw up or be chocked by any food they are not ready for), they will throw it out.

So be patient, but also persistent. Don’t feel guilty for their behavior, as long as you are trying patiently, I think it is okay.

God bless
 
Just keep it light, as if you are playing along with them. Lectures won’t go over well, as you have discovered. Maybe something like, “Nope. Still not interested. Still a good Catholic girl!” Delivered while smiling. You’ve made the point that you and other good Catholics would not be interested in this activity, without being obnoxious about it.

Betsy
 
Emilyfromohio said:
I was hoping I could get some advice from you guys

I have a few guy friends that like to joke around alot by teasing one another .They tease me alot as well, and usually it doesn’t go over the line

I am 90% sure they know I am catholic, and they already know that I do not think one should have sex until marring. Earlier today, one of them asked “Are you going to a strip club tonight”? The teasing was not mean spirited, and it didn’t totally offend me

I laughed and told them no, then I said that I was waiting for sex untill marriage I tried to explain why I felt this way, but somehow they changed the topic, really not paying attention to what I was saying.

I do not know if these guys are even Christian. I always felt that living an exsample as a Catholic would be the first part to being a good witness. But, if they make this joke again, even if it was not mean spirited, should I tell them to stop making the joke? Should I try and find out if they believe in God, and if so, how?

How can I be a good witness in a situation like this?
Click to expand...
Going to a strip club does not mean having sex. But going to a strip club is a sin because it results in a near occasion of sin against purity. Guys in such a situation usually don’t care what another thinks. Nowadays, they may not think of it anymore than going to a bar which is what a strip club is, with added entertainment. I wouldn’t push witnessing one way or another unless they start harrassing you about your religion. It’s obvious they are not interested in your beliefs.
 
Your screen name leads me to believe you are a woman.

Why would these male “friends” believe they can talk this way in front of you? They have not learned any manners at all regarding conversing with a lady.

If you are a lady, you insist on being treated like one. They should not be talking graphically in front of you, “joking” around in the manner they are, etc. You have to insist upon being respected as a Catholic woman-- and that means modest speech and behavior.

And, if they don’t want to behave in a gentlemanly way around you-- then they are NOT truly your friends.

It seems to me you are making excuses for them in the vein of “I don’t really mind” and “it’s not that bad” etc. Well, that’s why they are talking in front of you that way-- because you are accepting of it and have not stated your wishes on the matter. And, if it really didn’t bother you, you would not be posting here about it.

You are NOT “one of the guys.”
 
1ke said:
Your screen name leads me to believe you are a woman.

Why would these male “friends” believe they can talk this way in front of you? They have not learned any manners at all regarding conversing with a lady.

If you are a lady, you insist on being treated like one. They should not be talking graphically in front of you, “joking” around in the manner they are, etc. You have to insist upon being respected as a Catholic woman-- and that means modest speech and behavior.

And, if they don’t want to behave in a gentlemanly way around you-- then they are NOT truly your friends.

It seems to me you are making excuses for them in the vein of “I don’t really mind” and “it’s not that bad” etc. Well, that’s why they are talking in front of you that way-- because you are accepting of it and have not stated your wishes on the matter. And, if it really didn’t bother you, you would not be posting here about it.

You are NOT “one of the guys.”
Click to expand...
I would follow this advice, and just to add to it I would say if this took place at work you must document it and report it. If you are in a union, contact your union representative right away. This is a clear cut case of creating a hostile workplace enviornment IMHO.

I added the last sentence in edit mode.
 
You really should not be hanging out with boys or men like this…(I don’t know their ages)…they sound immature…
 
I think they were pulling your leg but in a way that friends do all the time. They asked you that because they know that you are Christian. If they went on and on and on about it I’d say something but if it is occasional just laugh along with them.

When they asked if you were going to the stripclub you actually changed the subject by introducing your beliefs about sex before marriage. They will eventually ask you questions like that when the time is right. If you get rid of your friends you will never be able to witness your faith to them. We as Christians can’t live in a safe bubble.

Rove
 
I would pray for these co-workers and try and keep myself at a safe distance from them socially. A warm smile and sincere hello would be something I could exchange with them, but any conversation other than that (outside of strict business) I would keep myself away from. They are bad company. Pray for them, but avoid associating with them. Definitely don’t be chummy with them, whatever you do.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top