How can I be more sorrowful for the sins I've committed?

[dizzy_dave]

I am a notorious sinner, I go to confession weekly, because I have to. Yet I keep committing the same stupid sins over and over I think maybe I don’t Love God very much or I’m just not fearful of sin or Hell. How can I change this I really want to straighten myself out. How can I see what my sins actually are, what they do to God, myself and others? I think about Hell and that doesn’t seem to do it, can anyone help me love God more and hate sin, why am I struggling so much?

 

[Chris_W]

Hmmm. I’ve felt the same way at times. I now confess to a priest (still use the confessional…i don’t do the face to face thing) who is rather stern actually. He doesn’t let me off the hook very easily and I came to dread telling him I’ve sinned again.

In contrast, I have been to priests who almost make light of my sins, and of course I find it easier to go to them, but it doesn’t accomplish what I want. I want to be ashamed to say I fell again.

So my suggestion is that perhaps you could find a priest who puts a bit of fear into you. But I must caution that you need to be sure this won’t prevent you from going to confession…going is more important than how you feel.

Secondly, I started to anticipate communion on Sunday. So in the days leading up to Sunday, I would think “I can’t do this sin now…and then go to communion two days from now”. For the days immediately following Sunday, I think "I can’t do this now…I received the Body and Blood of the Lord into my body (this temple) only two days ago. It has become a habit that now discourages me from committing habitual sins.

Third, it is helpful to me to think about how many times God has forgiven me the same sin. I imagine a friend betraying me over and over again. Yet God ALWAYS forgives us. His mercy is endless. I have come to appreciate that mercy in a new way that causes me to feel like I am abusing that love with habitual sins.

Lastly, I took a real hard look at why I committed those habitual sins. During the Act of Contrition I promise “to avoid the near occassion of sin”. Each time I fell I looked back at the steps I took toward that sin and realized I can’t take those steps anymore, even though the steps themselves are not necessarily sinful. I have learned to avoid those steps in order to avoid the sins that follow.

Sorry so long here, but you struck a chord with me. Don’t give up hope! Put trust in the power of the grace you receive in the confessional! By the power of God you can overcome those sins. Just realize it is His power you need (don’t rely on youself).

 

[NightRider]

These are such good questions! and a really fine post from Chris W. that helped me a lot, too. I struggle with these same questions often also and I also go to Confession every week because I have to. I commit the same sins repeatedly, though I am making some improvement lately. Chris W’s suggestions are all really good ones, and I have employed a few of them myself. It is getting harder for me to confess the same sins over and over again and I think this is a good thing. Before it was just difficult for me to feel sorry for sins that *feel *good to me. Now I am practicing a fuller awareness of the near occasions of sin and how they can lead me right into sin. It is so easy to exist without awareness! But awareness is exactly what I need to employ! and so I’ve been working on being more aware this week, and I’ve sinned much less this week than I did last week and the week before. This is progress for me!

Two weeks ago I had a very sinful week and it was excrutiating confessing it. I forced myself to go face to face with my pastor and I was mortified, but it really helped me to go face to face with him *because *that is exactly what mortified me! I was so embarrassed about my sins. He was so kind but yet very very serious and firm. He first asked me “You did all this in just one week’s time??” and I said I had and felt like the miserable sinner I was. And then he said “These are all really serious sins, you know that, don’t you?” Ouch. But he was right and that session set me pretty straight. It just hurt too much and I remember it every time I have felt the urge to do anything sinful ever since. Granted, it has only been two weeks but I have made vast improvement.

Thanks so much for your thread, Dizzy, and for your wise post, Chris W. I am better for it! God bless!

 

[NightRider]

I forgot to add that I use a printed examination of conscience before Confession, and have it with me at all times. It is very helpful to me, because the questions it asks are very direct and pointed and force me to be honest in answering them. I have used this for nearly a year now and it has brought me more awareness about my actual sin than I ever had before. It really keeps me on my toes. I use it because it is just all too easy for me to be easy on myself and to remain asleep, if you know what I mean.

Even though I prefer confessing behind the screen, forcing myself to do face-to-face has had a very profound effect on me because I am showing myself in all my sin. I am held accountable because face-to-face my priest knows just who I am at that moment and there is no hiding. It is tough but necessary for this sinner.

 

[ATeNumquam]

I also want to thank Chris W. and also Nightrider for your terrific posts.
I learnt a lot, and I thank you for baring your souls for the benefit of us others with such honesty and humility!
That’s what these forums are all about. Mutual support, sharing of knowledge and experience. You can’t beat it.

 

[Toni]

dizzy_dave:

I am a notorious sinner, I go to confession weekly, because I have to. Yet I keep committing the same stupid sins over and over I think maybe I don’t Love God very much or I’m just not fearful of sin or Hell. How can I change this I really want to straighten myself out. How can I see what my sins actually are, what they do to God, myself and others? I think about Hell and that doesn’t seem to do it, can anyone help me love God more and hate sin, why am I struggling so much?

This is bad but I will say what I tell my son, we were stripping chairs and the chemical I bought literally burned both of us with blisters, I told him every time you want to sin go stick your hand in that chemical or when the water is to hot I say hell is much hotter, now my son is 20 and has racing hormones and is not all about running to confession frequently but in time with pray he will change. Thank God that you do know your errors that is half the battle, do a nightly examine of conscience focussing on the good and the bad you did in your day. If you do this every night maybe you could see when you are falling most, if it is on the weekend then find things that direct you in a different direction. I know many who would bring their dates to Adoration before they went out. Or people who would go out of their way to find good videos to rent before going to the video store so they would not be tempted to rent trash. Basically it is redirecting the soul to something good. But it sounds easier than what it is… But take small steps to repair other wise you will continue to dive back into the sin.

 

[Hudsonite]

Pray…Pray…Pray

You are looking for a cure amongst your peers. Since you are asking these questions, this shows some fortitude.

The answer my love, lies deep in your own heart where Jesus resides. Ask our Blessed Virgin Mary to come to your aid.

Take time to go and sit in silence in a Chapel, preferably where the Blessed Sacrament is exposed and just sit, beg for help and BE.
Together, Our Lord and Our Lady will guide you on your next step.
Also, maybe find a Saint that had the same problem you do and ask that Saint for help.
St. Rita came to me one day in the confessional (Father felt her presence ) and she’s been with me ever since. We share a lot in common.

PRAY…TRUST…LISTEN

 

[drforjc]

Sometimes I look at a crucifix and try to imagine my hands holding the scourge or holding the hammer that drove the nails into His hands and feet, or the lance that pierced His side.
I think to myself, “Lord, I DID THAT TO YOU BY MY SINS! What was I thinking? How could I do that to You?? I am SO sorry for having offended You, and I detest all my sins…”

 

[Ter]

I used to have a similar problem, habitual mortal sins and I would have great intentions & then I would be angry or frustrated or think everyone was picking on me (not connected to the sins at all) but because of the state of mind I was in if I was tempted at that time I would think it’s a stupid rule and commit the sins.

Then a couple of years ago a priest said to me during Confession that we can give into sin when we feel sorry for ourselves and when we feel that way we should try to feel sorry for Christ instead by thinking of the passion & praying. That made a lot of sense to me & I practised it & have not fallen back into those sinful habits since.

 

[kayla]

Dave this a prayer that I use to help me with my sins, I hope and pray it may help you.

Lord Jesus Christ
I am sorry for my sins
I turn away from my sins, and I ask you to forgive me
Come into my heart, take control of my life
Be my Lord, my God and my Savior
Fill me with your Holy Spirit, that I might serve you all the days of my life
I love you Lord Jesus and I give you my life forever.