How can I discern my vocation?

[TiggerS]

You amaze me - and with Joy!

 

[sparrowhawk28]

You amaze me - and with Joy!

Thank you!

Your words and this discussion have made me think of some things C.S.Lewis said, and I found this quote - “No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.” - C.S. Lewis.
So, always persevere. Always seek joy, and always seek God. The two are profoundly connected

 

[TiggerS]

Thank you!

Your words and this discussion have made me think of some things C.S.Lewis said, and I found this quote - “No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.” - C.S. Lewis.
So, always persevere. Always seek joy, and always seek God. The two are profoundly connected

 

[sebin]

Yes, I suppose there is only one way to know for sure. I last went on a religious retreat about two years ago, but it was more directed at reflection rather than on vocational discernment. I’m not sure who my Vocational Director would be or even if my diocese has one, but I’ll try and have a look and see if I can get to talk to a suitable person.

My life is going to change significantly in the second half of this year as I am planning to study for a semester at a Catholic college in the US. I’m already at a Catholic university now, but the college seems to have a particularly pronounced spiritual presence. I’m hoping that while I’m there I’ll have the opportunity to deepen my spiritual life and perhaps also my understanding of what God is telling me.

I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in several ways. Mostly I find myself being drawn to marriage rather than anything else, but I don’t know if that’s a result of divine calling, my own desire or even a combination of the two (which would, I feel, be the best outcome). I’m patient to find out where my life will lead, and know that God has a plan for me that He is revealing or will reveal when the time is right. Whatever happens, I trust in God

Thank you =) I will definitely pray for the community here.

 

[sebin]

Yes, I suppose there is only one way to know for sure. I last went on a religious retreat about two years ago, but it was more directed at reflection rather than on vocational discernment. I’m not sure who my Vocational Director would be or even if my diocese has one, but I’ll try and have a look and see if I can get to talk to a suitable person.

My life is going to change significantly in the second half of this year as I am planning to study for a semester at a Catholic college in the US. I’m already at a Catholic university now, but the college seems to have a particularly pronounced spiritual presence. I’m hoping that while I’m there I’ll have the opportunity to deepen my spiritual life and perhaps also my understanding of what God is telling me.

I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in several ways. Mostly I find myself being drawn to marriage rather than anything else, but I don’t know if that’s a result of divine calling, my own desire or even a combination of the two (which would, I feel, be the best outcome). I’m patient to find out where my life will lead, and know that God has a plan for me that He is revealing or will reveal when the time is right. Whatever happens, I trust in God

Thank you =) I will definitely pray for the community here.

 

[dedo]

I did not discern my vocation until I was 24. Until that time, the only thing that I could discern was “the next step”.

Only in retrospect can I now see what helped me. I think staying in church and not missing Mass helped a lot.

Learning about other professions from summer jobs etc. helped because I could observe people in the working environment.

Working hard in school, and avoiding negative influences helped because it opened up opportunities.

The actual discernment occurred in a moment when I had the chance to talk to someone in my profession. Then I just knew that was what I wanted to be.

 

[sparrowhawk28]

I did not discern my vocation until I was 24. Until that time, the only thing that I could discern was “the next step”.

Only in retrospect can I now see what helped me. I think staying in church and not missing Mass helped a lot.

Learning about other professions from summer jobs etc. helped because I could observe people in the working environment.

Working hard in school, and avoiding negative influences helped because it opened up opportunities.

The actual discernment occurred in a moment when I had the chance to talk to someone in my profession. Then I just knew that was what I wanted to be.

Thank you for that advice, it’s very helpful for me

Just wanted to post an update of sorts. The church on my university campus holds Mass each day at 12:30, and yesterday - for the first time in a long while - I managed to go.
I got to the church about ten minutes before Mass started. There were people there praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and I joined them. I hadn’t been to Adoration in a very long time - partly due to my problem with directing prayer - and I was a bit doubtful of how things would go. Well, I still had a little bit of difficulty in not getting distracted, but I was actually able to pray steadily for a little while I also was filled with a kind of awe, which was unexpected but encouraged me to persevere. After Mass the priests returned the Blessed Sacrament to the altar so that Adoration could continue, and I stayed for a little while longer just praying and keeping my thoughts on Jesus. It brought me great peace and comfort I hope to do it again next week, and I’ll try and find some sort of prayer book to help direct things more.

Hope everyone here is well, may God bless you all. Continuing to keep you in my prayers.

 

[Dougyl]

Hey Sparrow,

Each person is unique and different. This is coming from a person who is in the process of discernment and is set to enter the seminary this coming fall.

In my opinion everyone should discern their vocation. This way once they find out of which vocation they are called to, they can fully live out their vocation 100%
whether it is marriage, religious life, or as a lay person (single).

Just know that all vocations comes with great reward when it is live to its fullest, don’t get me wrong each of them have their difficulties and sacrifice.

My advice is get a Spiritual Director pref a priest or a nun that you are most comfortable talking to and someone who you feel that they can guide you towards Holiness. If you feel a stronger urge of exploring the religious life, contact your local vocation director so he/she can give you more in site of what formation and life is like as being a consecrated religious person.

I myself have a deep desire to get married and start a family. Especially with this girl that I am in love with. When I talk to many seminarians and priests about this deep desire, they tell me the one thing I didn’t want to hear. “Wanting to be a father and get married is a good/healthy sign for a candidate for the priest hood”

Like I said each ones have their own sacrifice. It is natural for most people wanting to get married, so don’t let that detour you from making a honest discernment.

P.S. I come from a charismatic background. What I find the most helpful way for me connect towards Christ, Our Mom, and my emotions is Adoration with praise and worship. If you don’t have those events regularly then try listening to worship music in the Chapel.

 

[sparrowhawk28]

Hey Sparrow,

Each person is unique and different. This is coming from a person who is in the process of discernment and is set to enter the seminary this coming fall.

In my opinion everyone should discern their vocation. This way once they find out of which vocation they are called to, they can fully live out their vocation 100%
whether it is marriage, religious life, or as a lay person (single).

Just know that all vocations comes with great reward when it is live to its fullest, don’t get me wrong each of them have their difficulties and sacrifice.

My advice is get a Spiritual Director pref a priest or a nun that you are most comfortable talking to and someone who you feel that they can guide you towards Holiness. If you feel a stronger urge of exploring the religious life, contact your local vocation director so he/she can give you more in site of what formation and life is like as being a consecrated religious person.

I myself have a deep desire to get married and start a family. Especially with this girl that I am in love with. When I talk to many seminarians and priests about this deep desire, they tell me the one thing I didn’t want to hear. “Wanting to be a father and get married is a good/healthy sign for a candidate for the priest hood”

Like I said each ones have their own sacrifice. It is natural for most people wanting to get married, so don’t let that detour you from making a honest discernment.

P.S. I come from a charismatic background. What I find the most helpful way for me connect towards Christ, Our Mom, and my emotions is Adoration with praise and worship. If you don’t have those events regularly then try listening to worship music in the Chapel.

Thanks for your reply You’re right, there is so much difference within people.
I do feel most called to marriage, but I’m still yet to know whether that’s just a romantic part of me wanting that kind of love and relationship, or a true calling from God. My feeling is that I would like to have children and lead them in faith.
I don’t know the priests at my church very well - and the one I knew best recently left the parish. I do have a family friend who is a priest, and he’s given me a lot of support and advice over the years. Perhaps I could ask him for help.
Just out of curiosity - how did you decide to enter the seminary if you had such a desire to be married? (if this is too personal a question, I understand if you would prefer not to answer).
Whatever I choose, I want to be close to God. I can see myself doing that as a married person, as a single person and as a religious. I know that God has a plan for me, and I trust in Him. It’s just difficult sometimes when things aren’t especially clear.

Earlier this week (as previously mentioned), I went to Mass and prayed before the Blessed Sacrament. I also committed to say the Rosary yesterday and today.
Usually I don’t do these sorts of things, so it’s quite a big change for me - and one that I am hoping to maintain. While praying the Rosary, I felt so peaceful…and yet, sort of like I was getting goosebumps. It was somewhat of a strange feeling.
Lately I’ve often found myself feeling overwhelmed - by Scripture, in Mass, when receiving Communion, when praying… Sometimes I find myself moved to tears. I don’t know if this is just an aspect of my growing faith or an indication of something greater.
The very best of luck with your vocation. I will keep you in my prayers - I hope the transition into religious life is as stable and as rewarding as possible.

 

[Dougyl]

I would love to answer any of your questions. Please feel free to call me Doug or Fresh (it is my youth ministry nick name). people are already calling me Father Fresh (I just pretend they are calling me Frater Latin word for brother). Hmm what made me decide to enter the seminary when I have a deep desire to be married. This is a very tough questions and a tough situation most people have to deal with in discernment, since most people are called to the Sacrament of Marriage.

This is going to be pretty long:

The answer is I don’t know, but I am willing to give God a shot. Most men are called out of the seminary and people in the seminary are happy for them if they are called out, since God has showed them in their discernment that they are called to something else. Most genuine Catholics, Priests, Deacons, Vocation Directors, Bishops, Spiritual Directions, Sisters are happy that you gave the religious life a fair try and that is what it matters the most. All I know is it can only help you grow more as a person. I look at it this way. God probably calls men to the seminary so he can better form their hearts. Maybe they are called to the vocation of marriage, but they are not completely ready in their Spiritual, Human, Academic, Pastoral (4 pillars of formation) lives to be a complete gift to their spouse.

So, I am willing to say yes to God invitation and explore the unknown. Lately especially the last 3 weeks have been very difficult for me in my discernment.

The girl who I minister with for the past 2 years keeps growing deeper in my heart ever since I first met her. I had a huge crush on her before she joined the youth ministry program. Were actually pretty close friends (I think she considers me as her best guy friend). Every time I see her my heart skips a beat and I have to hold my breath (it skips a beat every time I get a text message from her as well). There are many times and opportunities for me to put my arms around her and even kiss her, I let my good character hold me back from my urges. I am a very formal and proper person when it comes to relationships. I spent the last two Christmas Eve at her family house, her graduation party and her sister’s confirmation. I even wrote a letter addressed to her about how she makes me feel(I have it tucked away in a drawer of course). I am 50/50 if she would say yes if I asked her out.

I came to 4 conclusions of what will happen if I did tell her:

1. She says yes - then my discernment is much harder and I may abandon it and start working on my career (4 more years of Graduate School)
2. She says yes - I still enter the seminary then I would break her heart and be toying with both of our emotions. It would make discernment a lot harder and It will give me urges to leave the seminary. It would also make me feel like I have a fail safe. It wouldn’t be a total honest discernment.
3. She says No - I would enter the seminary, but I would feel like I would be entering for the wrong reason, since I was rejected by her and treated her as my first option.
4. I wouldn’t have complete faith in God that he would take care of me regardless what happens. Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew[a] you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Regardless in what anyone decides. I believe God loves us unconditionally even if we reject his invitation. He will still work 100% within us in which direction and vocation we choose in our lives. I believe God sets many paths for us and he invites us to make a decision. Each path is special and unique, but they all lead to the same place, which is to him.

Please keep me in prayer for this weekend. I have been sick since Monday and I am leaving for Confirmation 2 retreat. I am giving a talk this Saturday for the teens right before Adoration. I definitely going to rely on the Holy Spirit for that one. Hopefully through God’s grace I won’t remember a single thing a said, so it can help me with my pride.

I don’t check Catholic Answers forum too often. If you would like me to respond more quickly to you feel free to send me a private message and I will send you my personal e-mail.

-Fresh

 

[sparrowhawk28]

Hiya, Fresh =)

I can understand that. Each vocation has its own difficulties. I know a few people who have entered religious life. One of my aunts was a nun for a while, but left the convent and got married later in life. I believe such a calling and such a life would definitely help personal growth and spiritual understanding.

Does this girl know that you are planning to enter the seminary? What are her thoughts about it?
I imagine that would be quite a difficult situation, and will keep you in my prayers as you consider these issues. I completely understand and agree with all of your considerations. Have you spoken with someone about the dilemma you’re facing?

I have deepening feelings for someone. I feel myself being drawn to him and wanting to spend more time with him. He’s a dedicated Catholic, and I think maybe God brought us together for a reason - because he inspires me to consider my spirituality more, to motivate myself to know and love God.

Regardless in what anyone decides. I believe God loves us unconditionally even if we reject his invitation. He will still work 100% within us in which direction and vocation we choose in our lives. I believe God sets many paths for us and he invites us to make a decision. Each path is special and unique, but they all lead to the same place, which is to him.

This touched my heart. I agree wholeheartedly. Everything leads to God if we look hard enough and if we allow Him to enter our lives and our minds. Today I managed to spend time at church twice - I prayed the Rosary (or most of it, I got interrupted) in the morning, and around midday I went to Mass. While I was there - and especially while praying the Rosary - I felt like I was connected intimately with God in specific moments. My heart was filled with such love and wonder. And I’ve begun to realise that I don’t feel this love or wonder towards any other thing or in any other way. I have a deep love for people, but the love I have for Jesus just eclipses that. Things have never been this profound for me before. I just want to make him the focus of every day and of all my relationships, thoughts and desires.

You will be in my intentions. I hope you get well, and I pray that you will speak with ease and that your audience will be inspired and empowered by what you say.
I’ll send you a message.

God bless.

 

[sparrowhawk28]

Hiya, Fresh =)

I can understand that. Each vocation has its own difficulties. I know a few people who have entered religious life. One of my aunts was a nun for a while, but left the convent and got married later in life. I believe such a calling and such a life would definitely help personal growth and spiritual understanding.

Does this girl know that you are planning to enter the seminary? What are her thoughts about it?
I imagine that would be quite a difficult situation, and will keep you in my prayers as you consider these issues. I completely understand and agree with all of your considerations. Have you spoken with someone about the dilemma you’re facing?

I have deepening feelings for someone. I feel myself being drawn to him and wanting to spend more time with him. He’s a dedicated Catholic, and I think maybe God brought us together for a reason - because he inspires me to consider my spirituality more, to motivate myself to know and love God.

Regardless in what anyone decides. I believe God loves us unconditionally even if we reject his invitation. He will still work 100% within us in which direction and vocation we choose in our lives. I believe God sets many paths for us and he invites us to make a decision. Each path is special and unique, but they all lead to the same place, which is to him.

This touched my heart. I agree wholeheartedly. Everything leads to God if we look hard enough and if we allow Him to enter our lives and our minds. Today I managed to spend time at church twice - I prayed the Rosary (or most of it, I got interrupted) in the morning, and around midday I went to Mass. While I was there - and especially while praying the Rosary - I felt like I was connected intimately with God in specific moments. My heart was filled with such love and wonder. And I’ve begun to realise that I don’t feel this love or wonder towards any other thing or in any other way. I have a deep love for people, but the love I have for Jesus just eclipses that. Things have never been this profound for me before. I just want to make him the focus of every day and of all my relationships, thoughts and desires.

You will be in my intentions. I hope you get well, and I pray that you will speak with ease and that your audience will be inspired and empowered by what you say.
I’ll send you a message.

God bless.

 

[Dougyl]

Hiya, Fresh =)
Does this girl know that you are planning to enter the seminary? What are her thoughts about it?

Yes, she does. She doesn’t know that i am in love with her I think(i am told girls tend to have an idea when they know a guy likes them).
I recently talked to her about maybe not entering with some struggles that I am having.

 

[sparrowhawk28]

Yes, she does. She doesn’t know that i am in love with her I think(i am told girls tend to have an idea when they know a guy likes them).
I recently talked to her about maybe not entering with some struggles that I am having.

Was she receptive to what you were saying about the struggles?

---

A SMALL UPDATE: Recently (as in, the last week or two) I’ve felt a significant change in my faith and in my desires. I went to Mass twice this week, and both times I came away feeling so calm. I’ve also committed to praying the Rosary each day since Tuesday, and in that short time I’ve really begun to look forward to praying it.
I find myself feeling very overwhelmed spiritually. My emotions and thoughts seem to be swamped with a love for God and a desire to know and serve Him better. Yet I still feel dissatisfied, kind of like there’s something missing in my faith.
I’m remaining open to the idea of potentially joining religious life - a view based partly on my deepening faith and on my dissatisfaction and desire for more. Yet I still feel somewhat drawn to marriage, so I’m planning to speak to a priest and get some advice. Maybe I won’t achieve any sort of clarity through it. But I just feel like I need to work out if this change in my faith and feelings is normal or some kind of sign. It seems too important to overlook.

Thank you all for your kind words of advice. I will continue to pray for all here, and I ask that you please keep me and all people discerning their vocation in your intentions. God bless.

 

[Lochias]

Sparrowhawk, your current situation and feelings could be an exact mirror of my own. I am in almost the exact “place” you are, save that I just turned 30 and am a guy.

All I can say is: keep goin’! I have been going every day for almost a week to spend time with the Lord in the chapel of my local parish, and it’s been a great boon. Like you, I find the Sacred Heart of Jesus to be inspirational and especially meaningful to me, and I renew my consecration to the Sacred Heart every day in front of the Lord in the chapel. Like you, I am unsure of my ultimate vocation in life, though I feel drawn towards marriage someday. I have been lax with my daily Rosary for the past couple of weeks, but I will correct that.

Some areas of my life have been led very firmly by God…I have recently become an Inquirer into the Secular Franciscan Order, and that was almost all God’s doing, and my own confused responses of “…uh, sure, Lord, if you say so?!..” The Franciscans are just what I needed, though. Our Lord is pretty awesome that way.

I will be praying for you! Thank you for sharing your story, it means a great deal to know that my own situation isn’t so unique that there aren’t others out there who understand. Pax et Bonum!

 

[sparrowhawk28]

Sparrowhawk, your current situation and feelings could be an exact mirror of my own. I am in almost the exact “place” you are, save that I just turned 30 and am a guy.

All I can say is: keep goin’! I have been going every day for almost a week to spend time with the Lord in the chapel of my local parish, and it’s been a great boon. Like you, I find the Sacred Heart of Jesus to be inspirational and especially meaningful to me, and I renew my consecration to the Sacred Heart every day in front of the Lord in the chapel. Like you, I am unsure of my ultimate vocation in life, though I feel drawn towards marriage someday. I have been lax with my daily Rosary for the past couple of weeks, but I will correct that.

Some areas of my life have been led very firmly by God…I have recently become an Inquirer into the Secular Franciscan Order, and that was almost all God’s doing, and my own confused responses of “…uh, sure, Lord, if you say so?!..” The Franciscans are just what I needed, though. Our Lord is pretty awesome that way.

I will be praying for you! Thank you for sharing your story, it means a great deal to know that my own situation isn’t so unique that there aren’t others out there who understand. Pax et Bonum!

Hi Lochias - thank you for sharing your story! I feel the same way - it does mean a lot to know that there are others who understand and who are experiencing the same sort of thing. In the past when I’ve heard people talking about their vocations, they’ve always seemed to be saying how easy it was to decide - like God just told them what they should be doing. That hasn’t really happened with me, so I felt like maybe something was wrong But now I know that everyone’s different, and that God has many ways of revealing Himself and His plan to us.

I will persevere. I have time once a week to go to Adoration and twice a week for Mass at university (excluding Sundays) - I wish I could go more, but my timetable conflicts. I prayed the Rosary again this morning. I really can’t believe how great it’s making me feel - so relaxed and peaceful, so thoughtful. The Sacred Heart of Jesus holds importance for me, I too have a Consecration but don’t say it as often as I probably should.
Even with the changes in my faith life, I still feel lost (and maybe even more so) when it comes to my vocation. My desires seem to conflict a little. I trust that the Holy Spirit will guide me, and I guess I just need to be patient. Looking back on the past, I can see places where God has had a significant impact - and that sure is reassuring

You will be in my prayers also. God bless!

 

[Lochias]

Hi Lochias - thank you for sharing your story! I feel the same way - it does mean a lot to know that there are others who understand and who are experiencing the same sort of thing. In the past when I’ve heard people talking about their vocations, they’ve always seemed to be saying how easy it was to decide - like God just told them what they should be doing. That hasn’t really happened with me, so I felt like maybe something was wrong But now I know that everyone’s different, and that God has many ways of revealing Himself and His plan to us.

I will persevere. I have time once a week to go to Adoration and twice a week for Mass at university (excluding Sundays) - I wish I could go more, but my timetable conflicts. I prayed the Rosary again this morning. I really can’t believe how great it’s making me feel - so relaxed and peaceful, so thoughtful. The Sacred Heart of Jesus holds importance for me, I too have a Consecration but don’t say it as often as I probably should.
Even with the changes in my faith life, I still feel lost (and maybe even more so) when it comes to my vocation. My desires seem to conflict a little. I trust that the Holy Spirit will guide me, and I guess I just need to be patient. Looking back on the past, I can see places where God has had a significant impact - and that sure is reassuring

You will be in my prayers also. God bless!

Indeed. The only thing I know to do is to walk the parts of the path for my life that God has illuminated so far…like you, I am being drawn inexorably to a deeper and more fruitful spiritual life. I have recently debated a bit about the priesthood, as many people have told me they’d think I’d make a good priest…granted, I can’t go off of just that, but it does make me think. I still feel more called to marriage than anything else, whenever that may be. I think everyone is called to do what they can in the moment that they are, if that makes sense…several of the student workers I supervise have had lengthy questions with me concerning my faith, and that’s been great.

I would write more, but my goodness, I’m suddenly very tired. Keep on keepin’ on! Whatever God is calling you to, I’m certain you’ll do fine. Thanks for the prayers. God Bless.

 

[TiggerS]

I think everyone is called to do what they can in the moment that they are

Good observation I thought. “Vocation” is always with us in every moment in the universal call to The Gospel and holiness and this is now and will continue into whatever way of life we might be called. “Vocation” comes from the Latin “vocare” meaning “to call”.

 

[sparrowhawk28]

Very true. The best we can do is listen for God and follow His guidance - but for me, the hard part is trying to work out what God is saying or revealing, or whether my thoughts and feelings are based on personal desire or something deeper.

I think everyone is called to do what they can in the moment that they are, if that makes sense

Makes perfect sense.

 

[TiggerS]

A spiritual director would be able to help - and a good spiritual director, wise, educated and holy, is pure gold and a real treasure - a gift from God - in the spiritual journey. The “hard part” you mention is probably common to the most of us and this is where spiritual direction is invaluable. Someone in a post previously did mention contacting your parish priest for a possible spiritual director contact. The other way is to phone your diocesan offices and ask if they can help locate a spiritual director. And another way is to contact religious orders of priests and brothers who very often do undertake spiritual direction.

Not at all unusual for anyone in the early stages of the journey of taking The Gospel and prayer, one’s spirituality, seriously to have much consolation by way of supportive and good spiritual feelings etc. It is when the going get’s hard and feelings are no longer as supportive nor a consolation that we learn the real lesson of the spiritual journey - that of trusting and confident Faith at all times - as revealed to us in what both The Gospel of Jesus and The Church teaches. “Seek after Peace and pursue it” (1 Peter Ch3 V).