How can I evaluate a teenager's faith education?

[Elizium23]

I am concerned that my 17-year-old niece is losing her faith. She has been in Catholic school all this time, but I am not sure what she has been taught and whether she knows what she is missing. She is growing up with atheist parents and is not going to Mass on Sundays.

I see her several times a year when I go to visit her town. I would like to know if there are a few simple questions that I can ask, over lunch, so I can determine what she knows about the Catholic faith, the sacraments, Sacred Scripture, her relationship with Christ. I don’t want to threaten her or upset her, I just want to know if there is anything I can do to help her see faith in God as a positive thing that she should want in her life.

 

[guanophore]

I am concerned that my 17-year-old niece is losing her faith. She has been in Catholic school all this time, but I am not sure what she has been taught and whether she knows what she is missing. She is growing up with atheist parents and is not going to Mass on Sundays.

I see her several times a year when I go to visit her town. I would like to know if there are a few simple questions that I can ask, over lunch, so I can determine what she knows about the Catholic faith, the sacraments, Sacred Scripture, her relationship with Christ. I don’t want to threaten her or upset her, I just want to know if there is anything I can do to help her see faith in God as a positive thing that she should want in her life.

With teens it is best to reach them through their own experience, and yours. What you mention above about talking to her about her relationship with Christ is the best way to start. Once she feels comfortable talking to you about her understanding and experience of God, the rest will flow out of that. If you can broach the subject of what she thinks
God may be asking her to do with her life, you are on the road.

Most of all, pray for her, and send her faithful encouragements out of your own faith. Testify to her of what God has done in your life. She is fortunate to have you there.

 

[coachdennis]

Remember that knowledge does not always equal faith.

I had fellow students in Comparative Religion classes who knew more about the beliefs of various faiths but considered them just facts; similar to dates in a history course.

So my advice would be to get clear in your head what information you want from niece. What is faith? What is knowledge?

 

[jmjconder]

As hard as it may be to be where you are…what she needs is a faithful friend who may one day walk her back to Christianity. If she were to catch on that you are trying to gather information - even if it involves faith…you will loose her forever.

 

[Auntie_A]

Not all teens would run away from you; they might be half-listeners. It’s good to talk casual with them like they are not your focal point. Chat while you cook or while you bike or walk and see what comes up. I like to talk about myself in my teens: what I wore, what I thought, how I felt that Jesus was being turned into a commercial brand or object when I knew He was God and deserving of better. If you keep the focus on your own ideas and ask questions about friends, guys, cultures, interests, and bring in religion when it seems right, she might engage in a conversation.

I also tell the kids about the 7 steps to love by St Augustine or the Spiritual and Corporal Acts of Mercy. It actually means something to kids to hear that someone before them has been trying to figure out this dating/“hooking up” thing and might have a better handle on it. They also see that God wants good things for them. Many kids think religion is only about the “do nots”. I plant the seeds in their mind and they always come back. There is something in our DNA that wants God, so they keep seeking God or they get restless and edgy…

Checking on the Ten Commandments, 5 Precepts, Mysteries of the Rosary, etc are important but may be conversation closers if her faith has not been percolated first.

Be the one she can turn to with the difficult questions. Teach the practical fruits of loving God and help her relax. Kids without spiritual formation are very stressed these days…

 

[EasterJoy]

I think you can bring up certain topics for discussion: Here is a situation, what do you think, what do you think the Church teaches about it? And just talk about what logically flows from various ways of thinking about it, not just hers but other ones she might have heard of. That is if you are capable of being a listening apologist, but I think teens like thought experiments. This is certainly a reasonable way of correcting certain misconceptions she may have about what the Church teaches and why.