How can I find a good confessor?

[Theresa_Duyen]

The only confessor I think can see my soul is 2 hours by airplane away from my place. I wish to go to confession regularly but I find the priest does the job not very well. I just feel a bit peaceful because I confess my sins but I do not have the feeling that Jesus was really there in the confession box. I do not have the felling that the confessor really cares about the state of my soul even it’s an appointment confession and he’s not in a hurry.

I don’t know how to find a good confessor around here.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

You say:

I just feel a bit peaceful because I confess my sins but I do not have the feeling that Jesus was really there in the confession box. I do not have the felling that the confessor really cares about the state of my soul even it’s an appointment confession and he’s not in a hurry.

Feelings are not always good indicators of what is happening. You are confessing to Jesus whether you feel like you are or not. The priest may or may not give good vibes, but he can absolve you from your sins either way.

It would be nice if every confessor were perfect, but that’s not going to happen. If there are times when you’re near the priest you like and can go to confession to him that’s great. But if there’s some less-than-perfect priest you can see more often, then go to him and take advantage of the availability of the sacrament.

Can you articulate what you would like the priest to do to indicate that he cares about you?

 

[ljubim]

I really feel for you! I also have that issue - not that the priest is bad, he just doesn’t give tangible penance (we just thank God, or pray the prayers we like), and nobody ever goes to confession there, so he’s less advice and more, keep up the good work!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with shopping around to check out different confessors in your area, in fact it’s encouraged. And if nobody is up to your standards, you can always imagine the priest saying something that your old priest did, such as at the end of confession (my favorite confessor is halfway across the country!) I say in my head “go in peace, good sister, and know that Our Lord has forgiven you.”

 

[LilyM]

Would you avoid going to Mass if you didn’t like the priest - if you somehow ‘felt’ that Jesus wasn’t really present in that Eucharist after he’d consecrated it?

No - for regardless of your feelings, Jesus IS present, and to say otherwise is nonsense. Same with the sacrament of Confession.

Of course there’s nothing wrong at all with looking for a confessor who suits you better, but remember that one who doesn’t suit you nonetheless validly absolves you, which is the point of the sacrament. So don’t give up going.

Perhaps see your old confessor a few times a year for spiritual direction - or keep in touch with him some other way. Many people would write to St Pio for spiritual direction from all over the world, and found great benefit in doing so.

 

[Zundrah]

The only confessor I think can see my soul is 2 hours by airplane away from my place. I wish to go to confession regularly but I find the priest does the job not very well. I just feel a bit peaceful because I confess my sins but I do not have the feeling that Jesus was really there in the confession box. I do not have the felling that the confessor really cares about the state of my soul even it’s an appointment confession and he’s not in a hurry.

I don’t know how to find a good confessor around here.

The worse problem we can face is an uncaring priest, of which there is many. Just for a moment please remember that christ promises to go where ever we may go, surely he is there, the priest words are just that; words, but what is really happening at the moment of confession is actually happening within you and not the priest.

I think the problem here is that you are picking up how the priest feels, just try to disconnect your self from his negative vibes and focus more on Christ; in you, with you, behind you, beside you and always with you.

God bless your soul, I hope you really do find a way to make this work, poor thing.

xxx

 

[puzzleannie]

The only confessor I think can see my soul is 2 hours by airplane away from my place. I wish to go to confession regularly but I find the priest does the job not very well. I just feel a bit peaceful because I confess my sins but I do not have the feeling that Jesus was really there in the confession box. I do not have the felling that the confessor really cares about the state of my soul even it’s an appointment confession and he’s not in a hurry.

I don’t know how to find a good confessor around here.

it would be very rare to find anywhere a confessor who can see your soul as that is a privilege reserved to saints such as Padre Pio and St. John Vianney, so it is not going to be helpful to look for one. What will be helpful is for you to move beyond subjective feelings about confession, and rely on Jesus’ promise about the sacrament of confession, and his promise about the sacrament of Holy Orders. He assures us, in his commission of the apostles on Easter Sunday night, that their power to forgive sins comes directly from him and they exercise it through his authority, and that he is truly acting in this sacrament. That should be all the assurance we need. Go to any of the priests in your area, the first choice should always be your pastor. Set aside the priest’s personality, mannerisms and habits of speech and rely on Christ present in him. You can’t go wrong that way.

 

[Theresa_Duyen]

Thank you for all your replies.

For sure I do not doubt the sacrament but for me the confession is not only the matter of being forgiven but also to be directed how to stay away from those sins. I’m sure Jesus is really there and forgives me, but I also want to listen to what He wants me to do in specific personal situations.

Anyway, do you know any confessor in our times like st.Pio or st.John Vianey?

 

[Brooklyn]

Thank you for all your replies.

For sure I do not doubt the sacrament but for me the confession is not only the matter of being forgiven but also to be directed how to stay away from those sins. I’m sure Jesus is really there and forgives me, but I also want to listen to what He wants me to do in specific personal situations.

Anyway, do you know any confessor in our times like st.Pio or st.John Vianey?

I absolutely feel for you. Living in New York City definitely has its drawbacks, but as a Catholic, I’m very grateful because we have so many churches and so many priests here. Even though I live in Brooklyn, I normally go to Manhattan for confession because there are so many wonderful priests there. When I came back to the Church after 38 years, I was honored to go to confession with Father George Rutler, a very holy man who has even written a book about The Cure of Ars. I remember after hearing my confession, he came out of the confessional and knelt down to pray in front of a statue of St. John Vianney.

I’ve been to confessors since then who I feel were basically blowing me off because I didn’t have any mortal sins to confess. They also don’t ask for an act of contrition, and don’t give any penance. One time I actually asked the priest for penance, and he said no.

A good confessor is a very great blessing. I don’t know what the situation is where you live. Some cities don’t have very many Catholic churches so, you have to deal with what is there. One thing I would do is go to different churches and listen to the priest, see what he preaches about, what he puts his emphasis on. You can usually tell pretty easily how spiritual a priest is. For instance, there is one priest here who said he has never committed a mortal sin and that we probably haven’t either. There is no way in the world I would ever go to this priest for confession.

God bless you, and keep praying to him. The Holy Spirit will guide you. And maybe He will send just the right priest to you.