How can I handle all this?

[newcatholicwife]

I am overwhelmed and breathe anxiety as air. Always haunted by the possibility of my dad having huntingtons disease, my moms severe mental health disorder and severe kidney problems… being an only child not knowing how to care for them. Also newly married to the most wonderful husband but who is also an undocumented immigrant. Severe social anxiety, very likely depression but fear of psycholigists (dont want meds) and isolated myself from friends and family. Mostly because of anxiety and also fear of them finding out my husbands legal status. Constant scrupolosity, guilt, and confusion at how I should live my life. Either I neglect all my needs to fully take care of others or completely withdraw to heal myself. Also even though I have the best husband I struggle constantly with jealousy and feelig like Im not good enough for him. I want children for us someday but so scared if it were to happen now because of everything above. I am just going back to school while hubby works 60 hrs as cook. I feel like the devil plays my anxiety as a puppet. Ill pray and feel peace then two hours later forget and get paralyzed in fear and guilt. Please please help :’(

 

[esieffe]

The meds allow you to feel normal. They allow you to feel as if nothing were wrong. God created doctors and medication for a reason.

I will include you in my prayer intentions.

 

[Cricket2]

The only way to handle huge amounts of trouble is on a daily basis, one step at a time. I do suggest you find out for sure if your dad has Huntington’s Disease. It is inheritable at a rate of 50%. That means if there are two kids, one will have it.

If your father does have this illness get yourself tested. Now I know that is a hard thing to decide, but I had a friend who had early onset Huntington’s and the illness started while he was in High School. His father did eventually die from it, and prior to my friends death, they learned that his sister and brother had it.

This is a terrible illness and frightening. But there are support groups, research being done daily and you really need to know one way or the other before having any children. I will pray for you, that you do not have this illness. I will also pray for your whole family. These are difficult burdens and I pray that God grants you awareness of His Presence and Love during all of this.

 

[AussieTrish]

Do you work?
Do you have interests?
You need something else to do to take your mind off all these worries.
Otherwise you will make yourself sick.

Not a good idea to isolate yourself from the people who care about you. That’s not fair to them or to yourself.

If a person needs medicine for diabetes he/she should, for a more comfortable and safer life.
Anyone who needs to take thyroid supplements, they should take them as the failure to do so can be serious.
If you need another kind of medication you should take it for safety and to be better able to cope.
We have to look after our minds and bodies, and if these need medical assistance, then we should get it. Most of us don’t like the idea of using required medications, but if we need them, then we need them.

My prayers for your peace of mind and body, and for a safe life and a happy marriage

 

[newcatholicwife]

The only way to handle huge amounts of trouble is on a daily basis, one step at a time. I do suggest you find out for sure if your dad has Huntington’s Disease. It is inheritable at a rate of 50%. That means if there are two kids, one will have it.

If your father does have this illness get yourself tested. Now I know that is a hard thing to decide, but I had a friend who had early onset Huntington’s and the illness started while he was in High School. His father did eventually die from it, and prior to my friends death, they learned that his sister and brother had it.

This is a terrible illness and frightening. But there are support groups, research being done daily and you really need to know one way or the other before having any children. I will pray for you, that you do not have this illness. I will also pray for your whole family. These are difficult burdens and I pray that God grants you awareness of His Presence and Love during all of this.

Thank you so much. His mother and all of his siblings have died from this. His younger brother was tested as negative and still passed away. My dad was tested as negative but is having many horrible symptoms. The doctors cannot figure it out. One doctor says his family probably have a similair disease to Huntingtons disease but they dont know what it is. He hurts when he moves around and has constant coughing. Lately he has to stay home a lot f work. I dont know how we will be able to care for them if needed.
I am thinking of having a hysterectomy although I think this would devestate my husband. He knows its in our genes weve just been praying that my father and I dont have it.
Honestly I wish God could talk to me and tell me EXACTLY what I need tp do with all these things. Sometimes I think I get signs but then other signs conflict with eachother.
I probably should have never gotten married. But I love my husband to death and believed it the right thing to do. But now Im not sure about children… actually terrified and I dont want to break my husbands heart.

 

[newcatholicwife]

I honestly think my anxiety is situational, and I dont trust psychologists to respect my decision against meds. I dont want to be forced to take meds unless I am an absolute danger to myself or others.
Ive seen some doctors make horrible mistakes with medicine in my family. And I believe sometimes the negative results seem to stay with them forever.

 

[jilly4ski]

T
I am thinking of having a hysterectomy although I think this would devestate my husband. He knows its in our genes weve just been praying that my father and I dont have it.
Honestly I wish God could talk to me and tell me EXACTLY what I need tp do with all these things. Sometimes I think I get signs but then other signs conflict with eachother.
I probably should have never gotten married. But I love my husband to death and believed it the right thing to do. But now Im not sure about children… actually terrified and I dont want to break my husbands heart.

I honestly think my anxiety is situational, and I dont trust psychologists to respect my decision against meds. I dont want to be forced to take meds unless I am an absolute danger to myself or others.
Ive seen some doctors make horrible mistakes with medicine in my family. And I believe sometimes the negative results seem to stay with them forever.

You won’t take anti-anxiety meds because you don’t trust doctors, but you are considering a hysterectomy? That seems to be a hypocritical position.

 

[newcatholicwife]

You won’t take anti-anxiety meds because you don’t trust doctors, but you are considering a hysterectomy? That seems to be a hypocritical position.

The hysterectomy has to do with possibly carrying the huntingtons disease gene. And no I really dont want to do that.
I havent really been diagnosed or perscribed anything. I just want to be careful I dont get forced into it if I was to seek counseling. I truly believe most of this is situational.
But in all honesty I just talked to my husband about everything and feel so much better. So maybe I just need more faith and prayers.

 

[underacloud]

…my moms severe mental health disorder…

This is a concern. You recognise the genetic risk with regard to Huntingtons disease, but you need to be aware of the genetic risks in mental health issues also. You should get on top of your own mental health now.

I honestly think my anxiety is situational, and I dont trust psychologists to respect my decision against meds. I dont want to be forced to take meds unless I am an absolute danger to myself or others.
Ive seen some doctors make horrible mistakes with medicine in my family. And I believe sometimes the negative results seem to stay with them forever.

Some mental health issues are yes situational, as you say regarding your own issues. Others are the result of imbalances in hormones and neurotransmitters in the body, and medication plays a crucial role in treating such disorders.

Since you have situational stresses right now, you can neither rule in or nor rule out physiological issues. Meeting with a good psychologist will help you work through all your issues. You are right to be wary of medication as a first response, but you are wrong to dismiss it outright. A good psychologist will likewise be reluctant to steer you in that direction, until they have worked through everything with you and determined that there is a physiological issue that needs treatment.

And no doctor can “force” you into taking medication anyway, unless you were involuntarily hospitalised, which is rare and only in extreme cases.

Please go talk to a doctor/psychologist/therapist.

 

[newcatholicwife]

To be honest I trust myself more than a psychologist. If someday I didnt then yes I would seek help.
I grew up watching both my parents go in and out of mental hospitals. Seen doctors terribly messing up actually making things a billion times worse for them.
My grandma confided in me a little while ago sometimes she wonders if sending my mom to the psychologist actually started most of her extreme problems. They put her on meds… but now she NEEDS them. I know her body is permanently in need of them now… but maybe if she didnt start them things wouldnt have gotten so out of hand.
Also meds aside, my mom IDENTIFIES herself with her illness. It seems that she cant help but put herself in a box with a label… and she can never free herself.
I believe Psychology is still in its infancy. I was studying it as a career path… got my AA and was ready to transfer. But the more I learned about the study of “abnormal behavior”. The more I saw how much this field relies on drawing invisible boxes and labels. Also many other things drew me away. Obviously if someone is out of control they need help for saftey reasons, but lesser problems I believe can be solved by true trust in God.
If I am not in danger to myself pr others I want to keep as far away from these doctors as possible. I am grateful for when they truly helped my parents when they really needed it, but I do not trust them completely.
Faith and trust in God really helps me… and talking to my husband. This happened last night and I feel so much better.

 

[underacloud]

I’m sorry you feel that way.

But it’s fair to say that judging mental healthcare, as with other branches of healthcare and medicine, by what happened in previous generations is unfair to the current generation of psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, counsellors, etc. Much progress has been made. And as I said, no doctor will “force” you onto medication.

It’s admirable that you say your problems can be solved with a “true trust in God”. Yet you came here crying out for help. I think you should be more open to opportunities for help, especially dealing with mental health in non-medicative ways.

 

[Cricket2]

I’m sorry you feel that way.

But it’s fair to say that judging mental healthcare, as with other branches of healthcare and medicine, by what happened in previous generations is unfair to the current generation of psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, counsellors, etc. Much progress has been made. And as I said, no doctor will “force” you onto medication.

It’s admirable that you say your problems can be solved with a “true trust in God”. Yet you came here crying out for help. I think you should be more open to opportunities for help, especially dealing with mental health in non-medicative ways.

Having dealt with several family members with mental health issues, and dealing with clinical depression myself, I have to say I don’t find the mental healthcare system to be worth much. I think little REAL progress has been made, though some has it is nominal at best. And the social attitude about mental illness is as archaic as ever.

Lets’ just say I have seen way too many people diagnosed incorrectly within the mental health arena, given the wrong drugs, given too many drugs, and so dismissed that it is disgusting. I would not give a passing grade to our mental health care system.