How can I help my boyfriend understand?

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Why don’t you read around these forums and see all the threads by people who are married to someone who doesn’t take the Catholic faith seriously? These are people with children and mortgages and they’re stuck in day-to-day situations where they have no peace. You’ve been with this guy for three months and you’re putting up with this?!

My husband and I agree on all religious issues. You have no idea how much that matters. Ask any married Catholic on here… they’ll tell you the same thing. Those that are in marriages like mine will agree with me, and those who are “unevenly yoked” will sadly agree with me, too.

Jesus should be your number-one priority. Your religion should dictate your life. Everything else should be arranged with that in mind. Pairing up with someone who is not in agreement is a sure recipe for misery.

You can’t stay with this guy. You just can’t. If you do, you will fall into sin, yourself, in some way. To stay with him is to put him before God. I can think of two reasons why you won’t drop this relationship. 1. You think you can “fix” this person. You cannot. He will change if and when he responds to the Holy Spirit on his own. God may use someone to work on his heart, but I don’t think God wants you to sacrifice your life on that mission. If anything, your leaving him may come back to him, later, when he is ready to hear the Truth. 2. You think you can’t find anybody else. I really hope that’s not the case, here. It is absolutely not true. You deserve a man who shares your faith and who supports you to be a better Catholic. If you ask St. Joseph, he will help you find that man. It worked for me, and I was hardly prime marriage material.

Don’t waste more of your time and energy on this guy. It will only hurt you. Really.
 
The beginning of overcoming sin is co-operating with the grace that God gives to the individual. Even if you understood perfectly what was going on inside the person and all of your words make good sense, there is still that choice that needs to be made when God’s grace should move him. If he was not raised in a religious home and out on his own he is not seeking God, then I think it is questionable if the positions he holds will change until he realizes that the things he is doing offends God.

Attendance of mass is an act of love of God for one’s own sake. Jesus told us to eat him in order to live and God wants us to live. (Only eat with a clear conscious.) I suppose considering it unimportant shows that even if he were ever told the significance of the things that are happening at mass, he probably doesn’t believe it. Or was never taught the faith, so the question is: what makes the church correct in what offends God?

The sexual appetite is something that comes and goes due to our hormones. I suppose if one sees that all sexual acts done outside the plan of God are sinful, the appetite is merely a temptation. (Troublesome, but always a way of escape.) Otherwise, the appetite is just another appetite to be satisfied. If it is merely something to be satisfied, then all sorts of sin will develop (i suppose whatever is available and since these acts are a selfish operation and never satisfied, it only gets worse): pornography, masturbation, pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, inappropriate sexual intercourse, etc.

For me, God, life and sex are all very related. Even for me it is hard to put into words. But the grace of God showing me a greater love, I hope, and put my faith in what was taught by the Holy Spirit in the Church. The Holy Spirit speaks what Jesus tells him and Jesus does the will of the Father. =)

If you choose to remain together, just know, the day of repentance is unknown, if ever.

Saint Paul said in 1 Corinthians: 12 For to the rest I speak, not the Lord. If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she consent to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And if any woman hath a husband that believeth not, and he consent to dwell with her, let her not put away her husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the believing wife; and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the believing husband: otherwise your children should be unclean; but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever depart, let him depart. For a brother or sister is not under servitude in such cases. But God hath called us in peace.

I suppose you could consider finding out how you two differ in what it means to be close to God. Also, this verse above may not be particularly accurate for this case because he is not necessarily an unbeliever because he wants to be known as a catholic. But he doesn’t seem to be trying to be very catholic by the info from the thread.

This is just my two cents.
 
jellie89 said:
I’m not going to leave him. He is a wonderful person, but he wasn’t raised in a religious home. I wrote all the bad stuff; there is a whole lot more good stuff that I don’t have space to get into.

Also I feel like God put me in this relationship for a reason, and I want to help him. I just don’t know how.

I still have hope, but i would never marry him unless he came back to the church
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Sometimes Jesus does puts His children in the path of someone who He trusts to be to that person that He, Jesus, knows that the someone needs. You are called to be a light. You must pray, and pray very much…many Novenas is my advice. Rosary Novenas. Pray silently when you are with him. Pray over him when you can do it without his being aware of it. Plead the Most Precious Blood of Jesus over him. Plead with Jesus to fill you both with His Holy Spirit. Carry him in your heart to Jesus when you recieve Jesus in the Eucharist during Holy Communion.
Be a light.
You should not necessarily leave. If there comes a point when he is pressuring you to do anything sinful, take some steps backward.
Pornography is EVIL !!! And satan uses it to destroy the dignity of those who are involved in it in any way…from the producer, to the actors, to the watchers. He uses it to distort the image of God in human beings. He uses it to desensitize.

BUT JESUS IS BIGGER THAN ALL OF THAT !!!

Your boyfriend has not been exposed to true Christianity. It is normal in today’s world for him to not want to conform to the rules…even though they may be second nature to a true Christian. For example, you know that abortion is murder. My advice to you is to gather up pictures of babies in the womb, and gather pictures of aborted babies. I would gather up written information on EXACTLY what is done to a baby during an abortion.
I would gather the scientific evidence stating that babies can FEEL everything being done to them. There is a video…the Silent Scream…which I could never stomach watching. I, though, never considered that abortion wasn’t murder.

During one of his most generous moments with you, by that I mean a moment when he is calm in spirit, bring out the information. And very humbly and unoffensively and calmly ask him to look over what they say. Ask him to do it for you. You could tell him that you have a hard time understanding that he has the opinion that he has. That because he is so wonderful with so many other things, you are led to believe that he doesn’t have the facts about abortion. And that you believe he is too intelligent to make an uninformed decision about something that is totally important to you. So, will he do it FOR YOU.?

If you are not attacking or demanding, will he talk to you about his belief and the reasons for them? Have you asked and has he told you why he looks at pornography? Have you asked him how it makes him feel? Have you asked him what circumstances he thinks that the men and women who are the actors in those pictures and movies must be in to do the work that they do?

I question this: If you are a follower, and non argumentative, what do you want to do? Are you afraid of losing his affection if you stand up to him about what you believe? Does he encourage you in your beliefs? or does he put you down for them? Or does he say that he respects your right to your own opinion…and that you should respect his?

As I said, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. And every Saturday night, invite him to go to Mass with you the next morning. If he says, “don’t bother to invite me to do something I will never do.” gently say that the decision to refuse is always his to make, but that you will always extend the invitation. And that you hope that someday he will accept, if only to shut you up. And even if he goes…just to shut you up, continue inviting him.

One more thing for this post. I don’t know how old you both are, and I don’t know if you talk about marriage or not. I am advising you very stringently to not make that committment to him until he is finished with the pornography. It distorts the idea and sexual practices of people. They become addicted to it…to the point that they are unable to find pleasure in the actual act rather than their fantasy. It is EVIL. I cannot stress this enough. It is extremely important that this hold over him be broken. Pray.
You haven’t said how into pornography he is. Pray anyway.

I recommend highly a prayer book I have. It is called “Spiritual Warfare PRAYERS”. The booklet is free. Just write to the
Valentine Publishing House
Spiritual Warfare Prayers
P.O. Box 27422
Denver, CO 80227

You can say these prayers on his behalf to a certain extent. And you should certainly say them on your own behalf.
 
**Jellie,
I think you said this guy is Catholic? (heck, I can’t remember and don’t really feel like reading back all these pages, LOL) Even if he is or isn’t Catholic, why doesn’t he go to ANY church on Sundays? That’s a sure sign right there. Is God not important to him at all?? Like the saying goes, “If you mess w/ fire you’re gonna get burned.” (or something like that, LOL!!)

This relationship cannot be healthy for you or for him. You both are trying to ‘change’ eachother whether you realize it or not. Yes, he is trying to change you, you might not want to see it but just re-read you post about his email to you. How could he care about your beliefs/morals and tell you you are being ‘silly’ for feeling that way about him watching porn??? That to me, says he IS trying to get you to see it as being OK!!🤷

By the way, Jellie, I have been in your shoes, I know what guys out there are like (I am 30 yo, so it wasn’t that long ago that I was involved in the dating scene). Don’t waste your time, I did waste time on a lot of guys that sound so similar to your guy and let me tell you, I didn’t end up married to any of them. I ended up w/ an awesome, Catholic husband that I met on AVe Maria Catholic singles after dating a bunch of guys that were not Catholic (or Catholic only by name). And yes, I agree w/ the above poster, religion in a marriage does matter, at least it does to me. 🤷 Even if you say that marriage wasn’t even a concern of yours w/ this guy, then really, WHY would you date him? **
 
GemmaRose said:
I think that the question you should be asking yourself is why do you want to continue a relationship with a so-called “Catholic” who -
  • doesn’t go to Mass
  • watches porn
  • doesn’t think abortion is murder
She hasn’t said that she is marrying him tomorrow. And she did say that he doesn’t have a problem not having premarital sex. She said that he is not pressuring her. Maybe that is a sign that he cares about her as a person. That her faith is appealing to him.
And many people who don’t have a problem with premarital sex do indeed have a huge problem with extamarital sex. The two do not go hand in hand.
Why would he be wasting his time being involved in an exclusive relationship with her, knowing her beliefs, if he were so horrible with no desire…even if it is buried at the moment…for something more real in his life.
The thing that makes him Catholic was his Baptism as a child, and maybe his First Confession and Communion. She said that he is not from a religious family. So that means that he hasn’t thus far had a chance to experience it. Maybe Jesus put the two of them in each others lives to give him that chance.
And if she says that she wants to be only his friend at this point, there is a great chance that the opportunity to be a close, true witness for him will be lost.
Unless he is trying to pressure her into sinning, I don’t see why she has to end the relationship. She needs to use this opportunity to be a beacon of light to him, who is in darkness. He is not doing anything that can’t be changed. He isn’t doing drugs, molesting children, murdering people.
He simply has not turned to Christ yet. He has to be led. Anyone who was not brought up in the Faith has had to be led. Jesus had to lead Matthew and Mary Magdalen, and so many others.
So I don’t think that she must leave him. And I don’t think that there is necessarily anything wrong with her for being with him. She needs to pray and draw closer to Jesus, and ask Him to give her the strength and courage to be a strong witness to this guy.

How can you call yourselves Christians if you see a person who is hungry and cold, and you say to him “eat well and stay warm” without giving him food and a coat? How much more so do we have to befriend those (when we are free to do so) who are spiritually hungry and cold?
She is free to do so. She is already involved. Who better to befriend and be a witness to him. Who better at this point in time to bring Jesus to him, and help him to come to Jesus?
  • has no problem with premarital sex
:confused:

Obviously, “everything” is not “wonderful.”

Consider the future… Would you want to be married to a man who won’t go to Mass with you and the kids? Who watches porn? Who may want you to abort one of your children because the pregnancy is inconvenient? And if he has no problem with premarital sex - trust me, he’ll have no problem with extramarital sex either.

Is he the type of man you would want to be a father to your children? Is he the type of man you would want your daughter to date?

It’s admirable that you want him to see the truth. Ask him to go with you to Mass. (Make sure he doesn’t receive Holy Communion until he goes to Confession!) See if he will at least do that for you. Become stronger and more knowledgeable in your faith so you will be able to defend it. And pray for him.

Just keep in mind that he may never change, or at least not anytime soon. With these problems between you, is he the kind of man you would want to spend your life with?
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DO NONE OF YOU BELIEVE IN CONVERSION OF SINNERS?******

I know personally people who were crack heads, murdering if they anyone got in their way, alcoholics who are now very devout Catholics of 10-15 years. It took people praying for them and being an example to them for their conversion to take place. These people now attend daily Masses and go to Confession often. They are wonderful people whom God is using in insurmountable ways!!!

They are the conversion stories proving that Jesus is still performing miracles today. And why should Jesus perform miracles in these people’s lives, but not in the life of this guy?

This boy isn’t a hopeless cause as you all seem to believe he is.

He sounds as if he is college age. How many people in college are totally messed up spiritually? Should we give up on them all because they are messed up right now? Should we leave them alone until they grow up? Isn’t it up to us Christians, especially those in the same age bracket, to be that light on a hill? And to provide spiritual warfare?

If everyone believed as you all seem to, who would be witnesses, because you have turned away from anyone who has any kind of real problem?!?!
 
Jesus_N_Cherie said:
DO NONE OF YOU BELIEVE IN CONVERSION OF SINNERS?

This boy isn’t a hopeless cause as you all seem to believe he is.

If everyone believed as you all seem to, who would be witnesses, because you have turned away from anyone who has any kind of real problem?!?!
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**I for one believe in the conversion of sinners, being one myself;)

But there is a big difference between praying for someone or helping them on their spiritual journey and being their boyfriend/girlfriend. Dating is to help us find a spouse.

If we are not ready to be married we should not date.

If we date someone who is not ready to be married then we should not date that person.

If we date someone who does not meet our expectations for a good husband/wife and father/mother we should move on and find some one who does.

If we date someone who has serious issues with the heart of our lives, our faith, we should remember that God comes FIRST in our lives and act accordingly.

If we date someone who has issues but we really care about them we should charitably “admonish the sinner” and NOT date them. We do them no favors by allowing them to believe that what they are doing is acceptable. We actually help them want to change their behavior by showing them that decent people will not accept or tolerate it.

In 5 years this “boy” could make the best spouse and father… or he could still be the person he is today. It is not the OP’s obligation to stick around and find out. She can if she wants to but at great risk. He may never change.
**
 
quote #51
“But helping him become a civilized human being? That’s his Mom’s job.”

So, if his mom neglected her job, we should just throw him away? Where is Christ in this conversation?
 
rebusrms said:
don’t want to add to what has already been said I think every angle has been covered, but I do want to pray for you and your bf.

:gopray: Father God a soul is at risk and another dear soul is willing to stand in the gap for him. I lift her to you and ask for Your protection on her as she tries to win her bf’s soul. Direct her Lord and lead her as you protect her from heartbreak. We pray that she would be used as a tool to soften him and lead him back to the faith or even to the faith for the first time. I praise You that their are young people who are still close to Your heart. I praise You that she is so willing to follow You. Continue to strengthen her and mold her to be the women You dersire her to be

May the Blessed Mother pray for us all…
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Amen. Alleluia!
 
To the Orignal Poster, Jelly, I want to make this point understood.

YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO STAY WITH THIS GUY IRREGARDLESS OF WHAT I AM GOING TO SAY!!!

That being said, to the majority of other posters, I have this also to say to you all.

She has been given the opportunity to be a witness to this guy. I am going to refer to him as Joe from now on, rather than this guy.

I understand the point some of you are trying to make about not dating someone who is not being considered even at this point for marriage. But I ask you to consider the life of a college person.

First off, Joe, having no faith from his background, has only the world that he knows. He assumes that all guys look at porn because all of the guys from the only world he has ever known do indeed look at porn. What reason would he have up till now to not look at porn?

Be real…not just idealistic.
He has to learn. And how will he learn if he has no one to lead him to the Truth? It has already been established that there is no one else in his life to learn the truth from.

Second, you tell her to be just his friend. Let’s be realistic again. If she were to end the “dating” relationship with him, telling him that she wants to be “just friends”, what will he do?
I will tell you exactly what he will do. He will be her friend until he finds another person to “date”.
Then Joe and Jill will most likely become involved in a physical relationship…because he has no reason to say “no” to it.
And then,
Jill will put her foot down on the friendship between he and Jelly. Why would she not? Jelly would be an ex girlfriend, and should no longer be important to him now that he has someone else. So the friendship no longer exists. There are no ties.

So, despite that everything may be all fine and well for Jelly, Joe has lost any chance to learn and experience the Truth from Jelly’s witness.
And it may well be years before he grows close with another Christian that may be a light or example for him.

And why?
Because you all are trying to convince her that she should end this relationship with Joe, even though they are not involved in a sinful relationship.
He respects her decision not to have premarital sex…irregardless of what his reasons are. He is not trying to push her into anything that she considers sinful, and he isn’t trying to convince her to change her opinion of what she knows to be sinful.

And, for the record, he didn’t say that she was silly. He called the websites silly. He didn’t say that she was silly for sending the websites to him, or for being concerned about his viewing pornography. He said that the websites were silly…in other words, he put no value on what the websites said.
That says something, sure. It says that the messages on the websites didn’t seem to him to relate to him. He doesn’t think it could be a problem for him.
***That’s a totally normal reaction for him to have!!! ***

Most college age guys think that they are invincable, that nothing bad will ever happen to them! Do any of you posters remember knowing college age guys? Do none of you have kids that are college age, especially guys?
Why do you think that AIDS is an epidemic? Because people don’t think that they will get it.

Bad things only happen to other people.
That is part of being in your late teens and early twenties…if not all the way up to 40 years old.

You can’t blow his reaction out of perportion!

How many drug addicts do you think said to themselves before they snorted crack for the first time, “Gee, by snorting this poison, I am going to become a slave to it, and willing to do murder to put more of it in my body for the rest of my life! I am certainly going to do it!”
None. They all thought that they were stronger than the evil that is the drug. “Addiction is only for the weak, not for me.”

Don’t get me wrong. As I have already stated, the viewing of pornography is dangerous. I have called it EVIL. I have said that it leads to addiction and all sorts of sexual deviations and distortions of the true act of sex.
But don’t blow Joe’s reaction out of perportion.
He is, at least, being honest about what he believes. He is not pretending to be something that he is not in order to manipulate her into believing a falsehood about him.

At least she has a starting point. She will easier understand the places he needs healing, and will be able to pray for him in a detailed way.

She doesn’t have to marry him, but she also doesn’t have to end the relationship with him.
Jesus, because of our prayer, and by the power of the Holy Spirit…which I am advising her to call on…can and will speak through her directly to him if she opens herself up to Jesus, most especially in Eucharistic Adoration.
Jesus said, “Ask and you shall recieve. Seek and you shall find. Knock and it shall be opened to you.” He was talking mostly about spiritual matters.
Jelly, if you pray for the conversion of Joe, asking and believing that Jesus is listening, and wants Joe’s conversion…as He certainly does…then Jesus will work.
It is true that Jesus will never force Joe to turn to Him. But the more we pray, asking Jesus to call Joe, the more Jesus will call Joe. Jelly, Jesus may well use you to call him.

Pray. Pray. Pray.

And open your heart to Jesus, especially in the Eucharist.

Jesus will talk to your heart. And He will tell you what He wants you to do about Joe, and what He wants you to say to Joe.

Trust Him, and truly open your heart to Him. Don’t do it halfway…love Him with all of your heart.
 
OOORRR…

She ends the relationship with him because of the reasons that are dangerous to her and her soul (Porn addicts keep seeking more and more to satisfy, this leads to emotional and physical abuse, etc).

She means so much to her that this jolts him out of his stupidity coma to realize that he’s got to straighten up his life.

or

She doesn’t mean much to him that he keeps doing what he is doing and going on his way…in which case she shouldnt be with him anyway.

Dating is NOT for rehab, saving, missionary reasons. She should not stay in the relationship to save his soul. That is not good for her at all. nor is it good for him. What then? It is an unbalanced relationship. His conversion has to come from himself
 
Jesus_N_Cherie said:
I know personally people who were crack heads, murdering if they anyone got in their way, alcoholics who are now very devout Catholics of 10-15 years.
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So, we should all date and marry crack-head murderers in the **hopes **that they change? I don’t think so.

And, if I met a reformed crack-head murderer who had become a devout Catholic I would say “how wonderful”. But, I wouldn’t put all my chips on the “I can reform him” square at the craps table if he weren’t *already *reformed.

Of course sinners can reform. Of course people can change. That doesn’t mean dating them *while *they are wallowing in sin is advisable. Being a witness to the faith is not the same as being a girlfriend. Supporting them, witnessing to them, and helping them are acts of charity. They are not a sound basis for a dating relationship.
 
agapewolf said:
OOORRR…

She ends the relationship with him because of the reasons that are dangerous to her and her soul (Porn addicts keep seeking more and more to satisfy, this leads to emotional and physical abuse, etc).

She means so much to her that this jolts him out of his stupidity coma to realize that he’s got to straighten up his life.

or

She doesn’t mean much to him that he keeps doing what he is doing and going on his way…in which case she shouldnt be with him anyway.

Dating is NOT for rehab, saving, missionary reasons. She should not stay in the relationship to save his soul. That is not good for her at all. nor is it good for him. What then? It is an unbalanced relationship. His conversion has to come from himself
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His conversion comes from the grace given to him by Jesus Christ! How can you say that she isn’t being led into his life for this exact purpose? This is called being a witness. This is called being open for the work that Jesus is truly calling us to do. We are called to be followers of Christ. We are called to be His disciples. That means going out into the world to share the Good News of Jesus Christ. That means talking and spending time with people for the purpose of their conversion to Christ.

A lamp hidden under a bushel bares no light.
And you are telling her to hide the light of Christ!

Jesus came to heal the sinners, to save the lost sheep…which is what “Joe” is. Jesus did not come for the righteous.

You want her to leave him totally alone. You want her to leave the witnessing to someone else.
You are calling her faith shallow and baseless. You are assuming that Jesus is not her Savior. You are assuming that she is walking separate from the will of God, and that He has no power to protect her as she strives to share her faith with “Joe”, who has never known or been close to anyone who has Faith.

They’ve known each other for three months. He hasn’t, to my knowledge, professed undying love for her. If she walks away now, it might not be so traumatic that he would say…“wow, I think I will give up pornography and open my heart to Jesus Christ.” It might be enough however to convince him that Christ would never love him, for those who profess to be Christians did not even give him a chance. It may very well push him farther away.

And how do you know that he doesn’t just occasionally look at a playboy magazine, and that is the extent of it? Although even that would not be a “good” thing, it does not mean that he is a satan and without hope.

Haven’t you ever heard of people changing because of the love and good example given and shown by the love of someone whom they respect?!?!?!
You are telling the ONE person in his life who is a respectable Christian and who he Respects to REJECT him, rather than gently lead him to the truth.

She came on to this forum to find people who could help her to know what to say that might help her lead him to the truth. But all you all have done is to tell her how horrible he is, and that he has no hope, and that she is in terrible mortal danger at this very moment is she doesn’t run as far as the east is from the west from him immediatly!!!

Haven’t any of you ever been walking down a dangerous road, and God sends someone to lead you to the safe one? How do you know that God isn’t sending her to him for this purpose.?***

I am amazed. You expect a person who has never known Jesus, who hasn’t been around people who know Jesus, to respond as though he has always been in a close relationship with our Savior, but just sidestepped into sin. And if he has no background in the faith, he will have nothing to lead him to the faith.

If she is not being led into sin by him…and she says that he does NOT pressure her into sex, nor would he ever bring her to a place that pornography is present. She isn’t in emminent danger. If she clothes herself in prayer, and pleads the Blood of Jesus Christ, poured out for love of Joe, asking Jesus not to let her be led into sin as she is trying to be a witness to Joe, SHE WILL BE FINE. “He will send His angels to guard you lest you bump your foot into a stone.” Not the exact word for word quote, but the meaning is EXACTLY the same.

PEOPLE, WHERE IS YOUR FAITH AND YOUR SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY TO SPREADING THE GOSPEL???

Who needs to hear the Gospel more than people who are lost? And it is a very rare occasion that they turn to Jesus without being led. If that was the case, we wouldn’t be called to be disciples and witnesses of JESUS’ SAVING POWER.***
 
Jesus n Cherie

No one here is saying that we/she shouldn’t spread the Gospel…

you don’t have to DATE someone to do it.

I did NOT say that she wasn’t led into his life for this purpose. I did NOT say she should leave him totally alone. You have completletely put words in my mouth and twisted them.

I say she should not date him. DATE him. Missionary dating is wrong.
 
My mother and father are of opposite relegions, mother is catholic father is bhuddist… So far more distinct than two christian views…

Relegion and relegious values don’t have to be a problem if you don’t make it a problem…

If you truely love each other you don’t let beliefs come bettween the bond you have btween each other… But if it is the values you hold that are coming between each other…

Truth on such subjective matters is… well subjective…

Have you thought about how he feels on the issues does he want to make you see his truth?

You say he is close minded but have you tried to understand where he is coming from?

Are you sure your not the one bieng close minded?

You don’t like his porn habit, Is the issue his porn habit or that you think pornography is immoral?

Just remeber morality is subjective, look at the real issue.

If the issue is you cannot be with someone with conflicting beleifs then maybe you should recosider, but if you truely love him maybe you will let it go…

In the end you can never change anyone they can only change them selves… And maybe if he truely loves you he will make some accomadations for you too…

Is there a middle ground you can meet on? Dont be so unfare and only desire your own way…
 
Abbadon said:
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If you truely love each other you don’t let beliefs come bettween the bond you have btween each other… But if it is the values you hold that are coming between each other…
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Oh my gosh…this is the exact opposite of what God intends…religion isn’t something that “gets in the way” and “comes between you”…it is the very thing that is supposed to bring you together. Disunity in religious beliefs…are that very thing. Disunity. A marriage is supposed to be a sacrament between 2 people…united in Christ.

God is the top of the triangle, and the 2 people become closer to each other when they become closer to Christ, and vice versa. God is not something one should hide in order to get closer to someone else. That is putting someone/thing before God…that is idolotry.

Morality and Faith are in fact objective. Truth is truth.

Marriages work well when all the decisions are based on the question “How will I get my family to heaven?”
 
1ke said:
Truth and morals are NOT subjective.
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They are as subjective as beauty, and we notice that it changes throughout history and culture, from the jewish moses killing all pow’s except the virgins and keeping them as a prize, to the geneva convention codes and standards of today…

I will give that there are some truths, like truths about our perceived reality, things like germ thoery of desise, gravity, mathematics, the process of fusion etc…

But when it comes to things like morality, it all depends on your world view, your objectives in your existence etc…

There is a moral view that works better in a global village like we are forming, there is a moral view that works better for a sand faring nomadic tribe and another for a large empire of mainly uneducated individguals with sevaral invading armies… It’s relative
 
Jesus_N_Cherie said:
DO NONE OF YOU BELIEVE IN CONVERSION OF SINNERS?******

I know personally people who were crack heads, murdering if they anyone got in their way, alcoholics who are now very devout Catholics of 10-15 years. It took people praying for them and being an example to them for their conversion to take place. These people now attend daily Masses and go to Confession often. They are wonderful people whom God is using in insurmountable ways!!!
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Yes, but the good time to start dating them and considering marriage with them was after their conversion - not before. Especially if they are in the habit of committing murder! (And even with conversion, there is such a thing as backsliding. Not every addict remains completely clean from the first moment of conversion, onwards. For some, it takes a period of adjustment to the clean lifestyle.)

No woman (or man) is ever obligated to be in a relationship with someone who is not good marriage material. Healthy families need healthy moms and dads.
 
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