A v e S a n t a M a r i a.

thank you so much beyond words for all of your amazing encouragement and support! i don’t yet have a spiritual director, though i really want to speak with my pastor and see if i could possibly find one soon, as i think it would help me immensely.
i truly believe, with all my heart, that even when my soul was literally drowning in mortal sin, my guardian angel was very close by, especially on the night of my suicide attempt that left me half an hour away from Hell, my life preserved only by a literal miracle.
thank you so much for everything,
AveSantaMaria. you have helped me, supported me and encouraged me so much, and words could never be enough to thank you. you have been so amazing to me. God bless you.
J o h n R u s s e l l J r.

oh, don’t worry, i didn’t take offense at all. i know exactly what you’re saying, and i know that you’re not trying to be hurtful. the problem is that i tend to overdo it when i try to help others, attempting to – literally – ‘save the world’ through my own effort, which can be even more stressful when i’m already suffering from a spiritual depression. this should soon change, however, as i’ve decided to remain on this website and focus on growing closer to God through here and helping those on here who need Him, using this website as a way to grow in Him and to help others as well. when i do suffer from a spiritual depression, i barely have the energy to move, although i’ve decided that i am willing to make the sacrifice of helping others even when all i want to do is die so that i can grow in love even in the midst of brokenness. i can be extremely self-centered when i suffer, i’m ashamed to admit, and it’s hard for me to be drawn out of my negative thoughts and self-destructive behavior patterns when i’m suffering. that’s why i appreciate your advice so much, which i know will be extremely helpful for me. i’ve decided, though, that instead of thinking only of myself in the midst of my pain, i will offer it up to Jesus for love of Him, and for the sake of the precious souls who need Him and the holy souls in Purgatory, so that i can use my suffering for the benefit of others, and take the focus off of myself and the lies i’ve believed for so long while still taking care of myself. i’m sure that it will work for me just as it has worked for you, thank you so much for the advice, and please don’t worry about the way you sounded, i completely understand what you meant.
i’m so glad beyond words,
John Russell Jr, to hear that your good friend is doing so much better now. i’ve decided that i will begin to focus less on who i am in myself – as that will only frustrate me when i focus solely on my imperfections, failures, weaknesses and sins – and much more on who i am in Jesus. i know that doing this will strengthen, encourage, support and inspire me, and improve my self-esteem while still helping me to remain humble, which is something i definitely struggle with, as i can be extremely prideful at times. i will definitely make the effort to improve my life and attitude towards myself not only through prayer, but through positive self-talk as well, which i’m sure will help me immensely. thank you so much for your prayers—God bless you.
T r i s h i e. 
thank you so much for your loving support and beautiful advice. i will definitely follow your suggestions, and begin to slowly change my life through being more positive and taking care of myself. you have helped me so much as well, and i truly appreciate it. i know that i need to let go of my past, which is difficult for me, but i know that through prayer and the help of others, especially those on here, i will eventually overcome all of this completely. thank you so much for everything. God bless you.
love,
in the peace and love of Christ,
alison
