B
blacksoil
Guest
I know one of God’s ten commandments is that I’m supposed to honor my dad. But how can I do so? So here’s some background.
My sister is 34 y.o. Was a highschool dropout, and didn’t finish college. She just quit whenever things get hard/uncomfortable. She would blame all her failures onto other people. She had never been employed. All she does is stay at home, slacking off.
I moved back home to help my sister. My last attempt was in opening a small store for her. It failed because she wouldn’t get out of her comfort zone. As always, she blamed it on me forcing her. I learned that the root problem is my dad.
My dad spoils my sister so much. When she didn’t do her responsibility, there’s never any consequence. Whenever she asks for money, he would readily give her regardless of mom’s opinion. This irresponsible parenting turned her a lazy drama queen who gets angry when things don’t go her way.
Mom and I been trying to fix dad’s behavior. We defined a rule that my sister has to earn the money she receives. She has to complete her responsibilities before any money. My dad doesn’t think it’s important, he just bypassed everything.
My dad is a man of no integrity. He made empty promises just to please people. He himself had a broken-home. He cut contact with his sister and brother whom according to my other aunt had been spoiled as children. My dad didn’t wanna talk to them years until his sister and son died an tragic dead couple years ago. Ironically, my dad raises my sister just the way his his hated siblings were raised. I have been pointing out that he’s repeating the same cycle. He doesn’t care.
My dad also treats other people and my mom like crap, a total 180 degrees from how he does my sister. When my sister does wrong, he just let her be. Just yesterday, my sister yelled at my mom because she asked her to throw away fallen strands of hair into the trash bin to avoid clogging the sink. My sister swore improper words to my mom. My dad just did nothing to defend my mom. I expect my dad to scold my sister for using such words.
My dad never hangs out with friends, nor talks to his relatives. His relations with people are mostly business-related, in which he wouldn’t hesitate to talk dishonestly/lie to win a deal.
I often get into heated arguments with my dad. I feel the need to because who else would correct his self-righteousness? I need to defend my mom when she’s treated crappily. I need to protect my sister from all the spoiling she receives. I always say this right into his face: “you’re raising your daughter like your hated siblings were raised. You didn’t talk to your sister much until she died of HIV. Do you want the same to your daughter?” and he would defend himself: “Who am I to be responsible of my sister?”. And so I’d angrily respond “Okay then, don’t blame me if I say the same to your beloved daugther when you’re gone and she needs help” He just can’t see that he’s repeating the same cycle of a broken home-ness.
Sorry for this long rant. How am I supposed to honor my dad? How can I honor such ungodly behavior?
My sister is 34 y.o. Was a highschool dropout, and didn’t finish college. She just quit whenever things get hard/uncomfortable. She would blame all her failures onto other people. She had never been employed. All she does is stay at home, slacking off.
I moved back home to help my sister. My last attempt was in opening a small store for her. It failed because she wouldn’t get out of her comfort zone. As always, she blamed it on me forcing her. I learned that the root problem is my dad.
My dad spoils my sister so much. When she didn’t do her responsibility, there’s never any consequence. Whenever she asks for money, he would readily give her regardless of mom’s opinion. This irresponsible parenting turned her a lazy drama queen who gets angry when things don’t go her way.
Mom and I been trying to fix dad’s behavior. We defined a rule that my sister has to earn the money she receives. She has to complete her responsibilities before any money. My dad doesn’t think it’s important, he just bypassed everything.
My dad is a man of no integrity. He made empty promises just to please people. He himself had a broken-home. He cut contact with his sister and brother whom according to my other aunt had been spoiled as children. My dad didn’t wanna talk to them years until his sister and son died an tragic dead couple years ago. Ironically, my dad raises my sister just the way his his hated siblings were raised. I have been pointing out that he’s repeating the same cycle. He doesn’t care.
My dad also treats other people and my mom like crap, a total 180 degrees from how he does my sister. When my sister does wrong, he just let her be. Just yesterday, my sister yelled at my mom because she asked her to throw away fallen strands of hair into the trash bin to avoid clogging the sink. My sister swore improper words to my mom. My dad just did nothing to defend my mom. I expect my dad to scold my sister for using such words.
My dad never hangs out with friends, nor talks to his relatives. His relations with people are mostly business-related, in which he wouldn’t hesitate to talk dishonestly/lie to win a deal.
I often get into heated arguments with my dad. I feel the need to because who else would correct his self-righteousness? I need to defend my mom when she’s treated crappily. I need to protect my sister from all the spoiling she receives. I always say this right into his face: “you’re raising your daughter like your hated siblings were raised. You didn’t talk to your sister much until she died of HIV. Do you want the same to your daughter?” and he would defend himself: “Who am I to be responsible of my sister?”. And so I’d angrily respond “Okay then, don’t blame me if I say the same to your beloved daugther when you’re gone and she needs help” He just can’t see that he’s repeating the same cycle of a broken home-ness.
Sorry for this long rant. How am I supposed to honor my dad? How can I honor such ungodly behavior?
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