How can I love my girlfriend more?

[Century_Child]

Alright, so I’ve been dating a girl for almost a year, and I managed to wait about 8 or 9 months before kissing her; I feel that that’s something you should only do when you’re really serious about a girl. Since we have started kissing though, I feel as if that’s what our relationship is starting to revolve around. Whenever I see her, everything always seems to be just physical (not in a sinful way), and I want to find a way to really love her. It probably sounds pathetic that I can’t love her outside of her physical beauty, but I really want to find a way to make us both better people and help discern whether or not she’s the girl I’m gonna marry. Thoughts?

 

[andreashofer]

If she goes to mass with you, adoration, prays the rosary with you and is wanting to follow you around to your parents, doesn’t want sex before marriage and contraception, than she is definitely the one you should marry!!!

If you have the courage to lead her to all that without anxiety, then you truly love her with the love of St. Joseph.

Happy is the wife, whose husband is a saint

 

[JNdoum]

Have you tried initiating conversation instead of kissing? I think getting to know her better will go a long way. In my short 15 years of life, I’ve come to believe that everyone is loveable if only you get to know them, and truly care for them. I’d say just relax, get to know her better, and focus on her as a person, not her body and whatever you may want out of the relationship. Let God be at the center of your relationship, and everything should be fine.

 

[MidnightSun12]

Alright, so I’ve been dating a girl for almost a year, and I managed to wait about 8 or 9 months before kissing her; I feel that that’s something you should only do when you’re really serious about a girl. Since we have started kissing though, I feel as if that’s what our relationship is starting to revolve around. Whenever I see her, everything always seems to be just physical (not in a sinful way), and I want to find a way to really love her. It probably sounds pathetic that I can’t love her outside of her physical beauty, but I really want to find a way to make us both better people and help discern whether or not she’s the girl I’m gonna marry. Thoughts?

My advice would be to stop kissing intimately. While small, modest kisses would not likely be sinful, you do have to be aware that kissing can be a slippery slope. Kissing can actually be a mortal sin if you are allowing yourself or your partner to become sexually aroused during the kisses. I recommend not to give your girlfriend any kisses that you wouldn’t give your mom or your aunt.

Also, it’s very important not to allow lust to develop a foothold in your relationship. You mentioned that you are having trouble valuing your gf outside of her physical attributes. To me, this sounds like lust might be starting to play a role in your relationship (lust is a serious sin where you value person only for their useful, physical qualities). The key here is to reject lust fully from your life. Lust is always a sin and those rules don’t change whether you’ve been dating for 8 months or married for 8 years (remember that even a husband can sinfully lust after his wife). At the end of the day, you’re just going to have to fight the temptation to see your gf as being an object of pleasure with all of you’re strength today and possibly for years to come if it’s God’s plan for you two to be married.

I’ve gone through similar struggles in my own life and my prayers are definitely with you!

 

[HisIsTheCrown]

Alright, so I’ve been dating a girl for almost a year, and I managed to wait about 8 or 9 months before kissing her; I feel that that’s something you should only do when you’re really serious about a girl. Since we have started kissing though, I feel as if that’s what our relationship is starting to revolve around. Whenever I see her, everything always seems to be just physical (not in a sinful way), and I want to find a way to really love her. It probably sounds pathetic that I can’t love her outside of her physical beauty, but I really want to find a way to make us both better people and help discern whether or not she’s the girl I’m gonna marry. Thoughts?

Is there anything low or wrong with the Body?

 

[Dorothy]

Is there anything low or wrong with the Body?

No, the body is God’s creation and it is wonderful. And, in His goodness the Lord teaches chastity, so we can be on the right track and not give in to our desires before marriage. The practice of virtue brings us true and lasting happiness.

 

[chazk728]

If you find your physical attraction a barrier to charity, then give it back to God for a period of time. Decide to not kiss her for a few months. No doubt, when you’re not able to occupy your time thinking about kissing, in its place you will naturally come up with creative ways to spend time with her in more meaningful ways.

There is nothing like self-denial as a true test of whether we have too great an affection for something less than God. You’ll find out quickly enough.

 

[HisIsTheCrown]

No, the body is God’s creation and it is wonderful. And, in His goodness the Lord teaches chastity, so we can be on the right track and not give in to our desires before marriage. The practice of virtue brings us true and lasting happiness.

So, marry fast…

 

[Patavium]

Alright, so I’ve been dating a girl for almost a year, and I managed to wait about 8 or 9 months before kissing her; I feel that that’s something you should only do when you’re really serious about a girl. Since we have started kissing though, I feel as if that’s what our relationship is starting to revolve around. Whenever I see her, everything always seems to be just physical (not in a sinful way), and I want to find a way to really love her. It probably sounds pathetic that I can’t love her outside of her physical beauty, but I really want to find a way to make us both better people and help discern whether or not she’s the girl I’m gonna marry. Thoughts?

How old are you both?

In general, I think if you ever stop and wondered what led you to her? was it just her beauty?. This is an important question. Stop, and think about the reasons that led you to her.

God bless you both.