How can I stop having pre-marital sex etc?

[richardsgirl]

Hi,

I would appreciate some advice. I’m feeling so depressed at the moment as I’m struggling with all kinds of sexual sins. I’ve decided to go to confession tomorrow, to my usual confessor, for the first time in quite a while. I’m dreading that because before, I was coming to confession regularly and although I wasn’t doing that well, it’s got so much worse since then… I kind of did some stuff and it ‘snowballed’ as I didn’t feel I could bear to confess it.

Anyway, I need advice on how to beat this… also, in my relationship with my boyfriend, we really love each other but are both weak in this area. I’ve said to him that I want us to try and break our bad habits together, supporting each other and I was hoping for advice in actually making it work this time. at the moment we probably encourage each other to do the bad things, rather than supporting each other.

I am honestly SO WEAK on this issue, I feel very depressed about myself and my ability to develop a healthy self-control and have a good marriage in the future and stuff

Thanks anyway

 

[Al_Masetti]

If possible, go to church every day. Just to make a visit to the Blessed Sacrament. And beg for some direction and guidance.

Make a prayer to the Holy Spirit.

Holy Spirit, please provide us with direction and guidance.

Dear Lord, please hold us in Your Arms. Forgive us our sins and make us the way You want us to be.

Mary, Seat of Wisdom, pray for us.

Make up your own version of these prayers.

And repeat them so often that they become ingrained. So that you say these prayers constantly … all the time. When driving, when walking down the hallway, when in the bathroom, when at work, when falling asleep, when your with your boyfriend.

Constant prayer.

In my experience, things will start to happen that you cannot have imagined.

 

[idrum677]

We all face temptations in our life so don’t worry that you are alone. I faced the same thing in my younger days but did not fully realize what I was doing was wrong.

You should feel blessed that you have been given the wisdom to realize your sin and the humility to ask for forgiveness. That is a sign of spiritual maturity.

Go to confession and go regularly. It will help keep you in check. Pray, as our Lord said, ALWAYS. Pray with your boyfriend that you will grow spiritually and be able to help each other stay chaste. Loving another person means doing anything you can to save their soul and get them to heaven. By abstaining until marriage, you will be doing just that.

Check out Jason Everet’s website about chastity. It may give you other ideas that will help.

You are in my prayers. God Bless

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Hi,

I would appreciate some advice. I’m feeling so depressed at the moment as I’m struggling with all kinds of sexual sins. I’ve decided to go to confession tomorrow, to my usual confessor, for the first time in quite a while. This is an excellent way to start! I’m dreading that because before, I was coming to confession regularly and although I wasn’t doing that well, it’s got so much worse since then… I kind of did some stuff and it ‘snowballed’ as I didn’t feel I could bear to confess it. Trust me, that priest has heard everything, and a few things you’ve never even thought. Go ahead. I’ll be praying for your courage.

Anyway, I need advice on how to beat this… also, in my relationship with my boyfriend, we really love each other but are both weak in this area. You are not the first couple to have this problem, and sorry to say you won’t be the last. I’ve said to him that I want us to try and break our bad habits together, supporting each other and I was hoping for advice in actually making it work this time. at the moment we probably encourage each other to do the bad things, rather than supporting each other. First, you need to get on the same page with each other. Second, you need to make a “firm purpose of ammendment” which means you need to make up your mind you are NOT going to do this again until the vows have been said, and the rings are on your fingers. After that, it’s a matter of one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time. IF IT WAS ME, I would go to confession at least every other week; not be in compromising situations with my BF (that means totally alone for more than two minutes), and until I had better control, I’d honestly think about not being alone with him for dates. Chaperonage might be hard to come by in this day and age, but if you or he have a younger sibling- drag them along for dates. If you live at home- think about date nights in the family home, in open quarters. Go to Mass on Saturday evening/ Sunday morning, and then to supper or breakfast after.

I am honestly SO WEAK on this issue, I feel very depressed about myself and my ability to develop a healthy self-control and have a good marriage in the future and stuff 1.) You are part of a couple. No way this is all on you!!! He shares half the blame. 2.) If you were overweight, or out of shape, and you made up your mind to correct it, you wouldn’t bemoan the fact. You would seek out a weight loss plan, hit the gym, and come up with action on a daily basis. Same thing here! You can do it!!!

Thanks anyway

 

[Belle10]

Richardsgirl, don’t fear. You can do this with His help! :yup: The best way to avoid sin is to avoid the temptation of it – so, as tough as it might be, don’t put yourselves in situations where it’s easy to have sex. Don’t spend lots of time together alone at your place or his. When you start feeling tempted, TALK to each other about it, remember what you want to do, and pray (alone or together - together would be better!) for God’s help. YOU CAN DO THIS.

Regarding confession, don’t worry. There’s nothing the priest hasn’t heard before, and he isn’t there to judge you. In fact, neither is Jesus – He’s there, actually waiting for you in the confessional, to HEAL and STRENGTHEN you. Jesus told St. Faustina that the priest is merely a screen for Him, so do not fear – He already knows your sins – just go and talk to Him as He desires, as is evidenced by the following from the Diary of St. Faustina:

From The Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul:

Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to Me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.
Soul: (as if awakening, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there is yet mercy for me?
Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.
Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.
Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does - that after so many efforts of My love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness…Tell Me all, My child, hide nothing from Me because My loving Heart, the Heart of Your Best Friend is listening to you."

Praying for you. :hug1:

 

[deb1]

If you had a friend that was just beginning to recover from alcoholism you wouldn’t be surprised that he decided that he/she wasn’t strong enough yet to visit a bar.

You have a similar situation. At the moment you are fighting against a very common weakness(been there myself) Do not be alone with this young man nor put yourself in situations in which you could be tempted to sin.

When I was younger I thought that if I was truly a strong person I should be able to be alone with a guy or even lay on the bed with him without being tempted. That was a load of hooey(excuse my french ) I would have been a far stronger person if I had acknowledged the areas that I was weak in and then avoided those areas.

 

[GregoryPalamas]

Strenght in an area comes by way of repetition. If you wish to be strong in the area of chastity don’t lay down with a man before you marry him. If you wish to be strong in the area of promiscuity and fornication lay down with him. In the meantime go to confession and to mass.

Life is simple, not necessarily easy, when you live a principled life.

CDL