Dear friend,
When our Lord told the Apostles that He would have to suffer and die, Peter said, “God forbid that such a thing happen to you!” Our Lord replied, “Get behind me, Satan!” He told Peter (Mt. 16:23) that he was an obstacle in His path because that way he was thinking was man’s and not God’s. This is what we all do when we begin with us instead of beginning with God. When we begin with God, we get a totally different perspective. It makes sense. Since God came first, He must come first in our thinking. He has the right to provide the context with which we should begin.
So to begin with, He created us out of nothing. No one paid Him. It was sheer divine generosity. Even on our worst days, it is good to exist. But more than just existence and all that has come with it, He has revealed Himself to us as one who loves us to the point of suffering and dying for us. His suffering was both physical and mental. His passion began with His mental agony in the garden where He actually sweated blood. He was betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter and abandoned by all the rest. Those who wanted Him dead, wanted Him to suffer as well. They not only considered Him a zero, they considered Him a minus zero—and He fully understood this as the pain of His wounds continually reminded Him.
He knew that to tell us that He loves us without limit would not resonate with us because everything we know has a limit. But we do understand suffering. So He expressed His love for us in a way we could more easily understand. He also gave us a way of expressing our love for Him in return. He gave each of us crosses. Your mental illness is a way of loving Him back. He knows what it is like to suffer in one’s mind. He is giving you a share in His passion and He is right there with you. Everyone has a cross—even those who seem to not have one.
But what is important is to recognize that His love is beyond our ability to fully comprehend. That God who created us from nothing would endure such agony on our behalf speaks of a love that we cannot fully wrap our minds around. It is a love that reaches into eternity. My friend we were created to focus on Him. He is our true home. What we endure here is a blip on the screen. He is worth all the difficulties we endure here. I spend time each day thanking Him for each of the sufferings He endured on Good Friday. The more I do this, the more I learn about Him. I suggest that you do the same. Such awareness gives new perspective to our lives. You are in my prayers. I hope to be in yours.
Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.
