How can one rest in His love?

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petitefleur

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Any ideas out there on how to be confident in God’s love and rest in His peace when suddenly thrust into a very hostile, distant and fearful society?
Especially when the Church is also persecuted and fearful, and I’ve been let down so very often by the fear, insecurity and irresponsiveness of friends and the clergy in this repressive environment.

I have to spend 7 months in my repressive home country, which I left many years ago. I find honest communication in this repressive atmosphere difficult, and I am having great difficulty keeping my spirits up.

I’ve been battling really chronic insomnia and exhaustion also; have consulted with secular health professionals and fellow Christians, but so far I’m still in deep darkness.

When the Church itself is fearful and persecuted, when any discussions concerning religion, society or national values provoke fear, such that honest conversations are not possible, the result for me is this feeling of being abandoned, unloved and unworthy.

I’m scared it will destroy me rather than strengthen me; I don’t feel saintly enough to be graced by a “dark night of the soul.” Sometimes even going to Mass is a struggle, although so far I still do my outward religious duties faithfully.

Please help me, my brothers and sisters in the Lord. I’ve been thinking a lot lately that maybe I’m not meant to be a good Christian, since the path is so hard and lonely and I often feel like giving up.

May the Lord bless and keep you always in His loving care.

Maria Therese
 
What country are you in?

I would say

Jesus I trust completely in you.

Divine Mercy chaplet
 
It’s one of the biggest Muslim countries in the world.
I really don’t feel good “badmouthing” my country, since others who are less patriotic/idealistic may not be experiencing the same difficulties.
Please keep me in your prayers.
The past few months have been utterly terrifying for me.
It’s been weeks since I got some natural restful sleep and months since I could communicate honestly and lovingly with others.

Thank you 🙂
 
My prayers are with you- that must be so challenging. Many saints went through long periods of spiritual darkness too. Look them up, read the things they wrote. Ask them to pray for you.
 
Try reading the Psalms.
There are quite a few that address exactly this type of feeling/ situation.
Also, remind yourself that it’s only for 7 months, then you get to leave.
Perhaps God has a purpose for making you go through this, such as so you can pray more for the people who are stuck there.
 
I’m a little confused; what do you mean by that? Anyway, thank you so much for your prayers and support! Happy Ascension Day!
 
Most people who’ve lived in this country for many years have “adapted” to the situation by numbing their consciences and adopting an uncaring attitude (believing there’s nothing they can do, it’s none of their business etc.). It’s true that this experience has given me more compassion and empathy for others, but it has also eroded my self confidence and sometimes even confidence in God’s love and goodness.

Kindly keep me in your prayers. Happy Ascension Day!
 
@petitefleur Just a few thoughts on resting in God’s love…surrender yourself completely to Him and remind yourself that He is holding you in the palm of His hand. That He wants only the best for you and will work out this situation for your good, even though you can’t see it now and may never understand why until Heaven. Be like a little child and put your hand in His, and trust Him that He will love, guide, and protect you. Surrender all your fears to Him, and ask Him to take care of everything so you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Then really try to relax in that knowledge. You might have to surrender your fears to Him 20 times a day.

Keep praying and read the Bible as much as you can, especially the Psalms and the New Testament. I like to color coordinate my Bible so I can find my favorite passages quickly, and I color all of the encouraging promises I find one color, pink. (I use nice colored pencils so there’s no bleed-through on the pages). Then, I can go back when I am scared or depressed and read all of those encouraging verses and it helps tremendously.

I think if I was in your situation I would be scared, too. I will pray for you right now and I hope you can find some peace and comfort. If you’re not sleeping, you are really going to make yourself sick and even more upset. Pray, go to Mass, and read the Bible even if you don’t feel like it. Go through the motions and they will give you the grace to start the healing process. Don’t give up! Jesus is there for you and we’re praying for you, too!
 
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! Coincidentally, my Confirmation name is Thérèse, after St Thérèse of Lisieux. I didn’t grow up in an atmosphere of trust, so abandoning myself like a little child to our Heavenly Father has never been easy for me. I neve experienced that as a child (due to our situation at that time, growing up I was always encouraged to be wary, cautious and distrustful), so it’s only possible by grace.
I often envy and admire St Therese a lot, for to her, her earthly father is really a reflection of God our Heavenly Father. That’s why the “little way” came easily and naturally to her…

I will pray for the grace of peace and trust. This is a really precious grace, which do not come naturally to many people. Kindly keep me in your prayers!
Have a blessed Ascension Day.

Maria Thérèse
 
petitefleur said:
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! Coincidentally, my Confirmation name is Thérèse, after St Thérèse of Lisieux. I didn’t grow up in an atmosphere of trust, so abandoning myself like a little child to our Heavenly Father has never been easy for me. I neve experienced that as a child (due to our situation at that time, growing up I was always encouraged to be wary, cautious and distrustful), so it’s only possible by grace.
I often envy and admire St Therese a lot, for to her, her earthly father is really a reflection of God our Heavenly Father. That’s why the “little way” came easily and naturally to her…

I will pray for the grace of peace and trust. This is a really precious grace, which do not come naturally to many people. Kindly keep me in your prayers!
Have a blessed Ascension Day.

Maria Thérèse
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Yes, I understand how hard it is to trust God if we never knew that kind of trust and love as children. I am so sorry you have that pain. I will pray for you even more that God will heal those wounds in your heart. Try the Divine Mercy chaplet also…I find that so encouraging to pray, especially if the Rosary is too hard to pray when I am upset. I am glad you have St. Therese looking out for you…pray to her for help in this situation. I wish we could all rely on God the way she did. Mother Mary, pray for us, and especially for Marie Therese. ❤️❤️
 
Oh OK, got it now. 🙂
You’re talking about His love.
I remember St Therese de Lisieux writing something like that as well.
Yes, I really need to grow in His love and rest in Him, not relying too much on the reaction and fickleness of others.
This is a struggle for me, especially because I grew up in a very distrustful, unstable atmosphere.
Thank you so much for your prayers and words of encouragement; they’ve really encouraged me to be positive and not give up hope.
 
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