The problem is that many people these days are generally lazy in evaluating potential spouses. They hit the “dating scene,” pair up with the first person with whom they both get along and feel some “chemistry,” and then worry about whether or not the person is Catholic, is otherwise free to marry, and is a qualified candidate for “spousehood.” Okay, granted, this is an over-generalization and an over-simplification, but the point is that Catholics are part of a society that does not take much care in preparing for marriage, which is a contributing factor to why so many marriages fail.
Catholic parents need to train their children that dating has the specific purpose of preparing for marriage, and that marriage has the specific purpose of preparing for heaven. Both to establish the principle and to train their children to see the matter as important, Catholic parents should not allow their minor children to have “couple dates” with non-Catholics. This sounds radical, but many non-Catholic and non-Christian parents have this rule for their children for the same reason – they want to teach their children the importance of marrying within their faith.
That is, of course, a long-term solution. For the present, Catholic singles are simply going to have to be more deliberate in looking for other Catholic singles. They should consider asking about religious practice and establishing freedom to marry to be important “first” questions for anyone with whom they are considering entering a romantic relationship. If this takes time, patience, and suffering, they should “offer it up,” trust God, and keep waiting for someone with whom they can build a truly Catholic marriage and home.
As for solving the problem of helping Catholic singles to meet, my hope is that Catholics will eventually take a lesson from observant Jewish families and encourage person-to-person matchmaking by spiritually mature, respected Catholic elders for young Catholics seeking marriage to other Catholics (which I believe is a far safer option and more in keeping with human dignity than “matchmaking web sites”). Jewish matchmakers know their communities well, consider matchmaking a good deed, and are generally able to create Jewish couples with a far smaller pool to work with than Catholics. If they can do it, so can we.
