How can you be expecting someone who is already here? (pregnancy)

[broconsul]

I challenge all the faithful to adjust their vocabulary when it comes to pregnancy.

A pro-life friend (she does apologetics) who recently found out she’s pregnant said something like, “we’re expecting a new addition to the family.”

Actually, you aren’t. The new addition is already here. He or she has been there for a little while now.

He or she is their first child. She’s not going to be a mother. She already is. And he’s already a father.

This is the type of stuff that changes how people think about pregnancy and what people consider the unborn to be.

It’s nothing new, really. It just adds consistency to the pro-life position.

 

[JackVk]

You know, I never thought of it that way, but you are right

 

[mommamaree]

I have thought much about this very recently. I am currently pregnant with our third child, or perhaps I should honestly say fourth child, because I had an early miscarriage last year. Truly, it was the miscarriage that led my to redefine for myself terms such as baby, child, parenthood, mother, etc. I am glad you brought this up in a new thread, because our language should match the Truth and the reality of a situation.

 

[Newbie2]

Ummmmm…I’m not so sure such terminology isn’t appropriate as is. I get your point, and it’s a good one, but “expecting” mostly means “expecting to be born”, no?

Being a dad, I know, is different from being a mom… a dad never really gets to experience his unborn child like mom does, and neither really get to interact as with a “born” baby.

Theologically, yes, it makes sense. Socially…probably not (yet?), even in Catholic circles.

 

[broconsul]

Ummmmm…I’m not so sure such terminology isn’t appropriate as is. I get your point, and it’s a good one, but “expecting” mostly means “expecting to be born”, no?

Being a dad, I know, is different from being a mom… a dad never really gets to experience his unborn child like mom does, and neither really get to interact as with a “born” baby.

Theologically, yes, it makes sense. Socially…probably not (yet?), even in Catholic circles.

I’ve never understood it as “expecting to be born.” Like the person I quoted in the OP, most mean it (subconsciously or otherwise) as “expecting a new addition to the family.”

When you say, “not (yet?),” when do you think would be a better time to start making the switch in vocabulary? The truth doesn’t change over time, and there’s no time like the present to act.

 

[rwillenborg]

I always figure that ‘expecting’ means that you are expecting someone to show up. They’re here, technically, but it’s like they just got out of the car and walked up the driveway. You still haven’t seen them yet! LOL!

I do correct my friends all the time when they say they are ‘going to be a mom’. I’m like ‘You know how it feels like the life is getting sucked out of you right now? It’s because you already ARE a mom!!’

I’m expecting my third right now, and I printed out a pic of what a 28 week old baby looks like inside, for my daughters who are in pre-school. They have to make a family tree, and he’s gonna be on it!

 

[rwillenborg]

Oh yeah, and when I told my boss I was pregnant, I sat down in his office and said ‘Well, I’m expecting’ and he said ‘A letter?’ I was like ‘Uh, no, a baby.’

I think maybe the term ‘expecting’ isn’t as widely used as it once was? LOL

 

[Newbie2]

I’ve never understood it as “expecting to be born.” Like the person I quoted in the OP, most mean it (subconsciously or otherwise) as “expecting a new addition to the family.”
When you say, “not (yet?),” when do you think would be a better time to start making the switch in vocabulary? The truth doesn’t change over time, and there’s no time like the present to act.

I guess I think of that time of the “new addition” is the time where we can interact with that new addition.

Maybe “not yet” is an unfortunate choice of words. Maybe “never” is what I meant, and by that I mean that I don’t think it will catch on. But I’d like to be proven wrong.

 

[bingbang]

My wife had a miscarriage about 6 months ago. A baby isn’t here until its here. You are expecting the baby to be healthy, but a LOT of the time it doesn’t turn out that way. I think “expecting” is the right term.

 

[broconsul]

My wife had a miscarriage about 6 months ago. A baby isn’t here until its here. You are expecting the baby to be healthy, but a LOT of the time it doesn’t turn out that way. I think “expecting” is the right term.

“Expecting to give birth to a healthy child” is correct. But “expecting a new addition to the family” is not.

“A baby isn’t here until he’s here” begs the question. It assumes that a child becomes a part of the family at birth, which is what the statement tries to prove.

If he (or she) is not here, where else could he be? There is a physical human being in there, who is the offspring of the mother and father. Furthermore, when is he here to stay?

A human being might die sometime during pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t here yet. The same could be said of someone who dies during infancy. One could say he wasn’t actually here because he didn’t make it to adulthood. Consider someone born with progeria, who isn’t expected to live to adulthood. Is he here?

What may or may not happen to a human being at some point in the future has no bearing on his or her status now.

It’s terrible that your child died before he (or she) was born. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t a living human being during his short life.

 

[dixieagle]

“Expecting to give birth to a healthy child” is correct. But “expecting a new addition to the family” is not.

“A baby isn’t here until he’s here” begs the question. It assumes that a child becomes a part of the family at birth, which is what the statement tries to prove.

If he (or she) is not here, where else could he be? There is a physical human being in there, who is the offspring of the mother and father. Furthermore, when is he here to stay?

A human being might die sometime during pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t here yet. The same could be said of someone who dies during infancy. One could say he wasn’t actually here because he didn’t make it to adulthood. Consider someone born with progeria, who isn’t expected to live to adulthood. Is he here?

What may or may not happen to a human being at some point in the future has no bearing on his or her status now.

It’s terrible that your child died before he (or she) was born. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t a living human being during his short life.

My understanding of the term has always been “expecting (the birth of) a baby.” It does seem that the term is not used as much lately; I think that the word “pregnant” used to be considered unsuitable for polite company, hence, “expecting.”

While those of us who are pro-life (and, I suspect, even most of those who aren’t) realize that the baby is, indeed, a living human being, pre-birth, we await impatiently the actual arrival of the little one so that we can actually meet, hold, and interact with him/her.

I think that you reacted unnecessarily to your pregnant pro-life friend’s use of terms that long pre-date the relatively recent legalization and acceptance of abortion.

 

[broconsul]

I didn’t mean to imply that I went off on this diatribe to her. I was just happy for her.

It was just a thought I had. I thought I’d bring it up with like-minded people here.