How Catholics View Non Denominational Christians? (Relationships)

[iloveangels]

This is actually correct. We have way too many heretics of our own to be throwing rocks at other people.

 

[iloveangels]

I am sorry. My previous posts were not intended to be disrespectful at all. I have a great deal of respect for the RC. religion. I am simply saying that if you marry an RC, you will likely lose your faith tradition in your family. That might not matter to you. The RC party will have to get a ‘dispensation’ (apparently this is God’s willl) to marry you, on condition that should the marriage bear fruit, that party has the responsibility to try to raise them in the RC Church. If that party fails to get that dispensation, then the RC Church (and therefore God?) will view your marriage as invalid.

As for the above user who talked of Protestant beliefs being heretical (and the standard replies) a careful reading would point to the fact he very deliberately used the term 'heresy follower to make sure he was not erroneously charging us with the sin of heresy.

Actually, it’s a toss-up. The religion of the family is likely to come around to that of the person in the pair who actually takes religion the more seriously and actually practices their religion. Looking at it from a distance, it’s as likely that the couple will become non-Denominational as that they will become Catholic. The OP probably has more insight on this than anyone here because he’s the one whose seen whether this girl actually lives out a version of Christianity or not, or if it’s just pressure she’s getting from someplace or big talk.

 

[iloveangels]

Agreed. You know, if one thinks about it from a Catholic perspective, it seems to me that mixed marriages might be a good way to bring non-Catholics into the CC. I have no data to back up if that happens with great frequency, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it does.

Jon

Marriage is NOT, I repeat NOT, a conversion strategy. Bad idea.
You marry a person because you love them and want to live a whole life together, not so you can change them and make them into something you want them to be.
We have enough divorced Catholics. Don’t be adding to the statistic.

 

[JonNC]

Marriage is NOT, I repeat NOT, a conversion strategy. Bad idea.
You marry a person because you love them and want to live a whole life together, not so you can change them and make them into something you want them to be.
We have enough divorced Catholics. Don’t be adding to the statistic.

Now, I didn’t say it was a conversion strategy, did I? What I said was that it happens that those who do marry a Catholic may very well join the Catholic Church. I was responding to the poster who said Catholics shouldn’t marry someone who is not Catholic because he/she believes we are heretics. Of course one shouldn’t marry are a conversion strategy.
Of course one should marry because of love and a desire to live an entire life together.

Jon

 

[Nan_S]

Agreed. You know, if one thinks about it from a Catholic perspective, it seems to me that mixed marriages might be a good way to bring non-Catholics into the CC. I have no data to back up if that happens with great frequency, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it does.

Jon

It’s a mixed bag. Sometimes the Protestant spouse becomes a great Catholic, and other times the best you can get is a “do it my own way” pseudo-Catholic.

I have both in my family - on both sides. My siblings and I were all raised Catholic. My brother married a Protestant lady, and she is now as enthusiastic a Catholic as anyone could ever wish to find. My spouse’s Protestant brother married a Catholic lady, heartily embraced the Catholic church, and raised a family of equally devout Catholic kids.

Me? I married the “do it my own way” brother. He agreed to be a Catholic at our wedding, the priest accepted him as a Catholic, and he received communion. He didn’t go through RCIA first, but the wedding was a long time ago. Some years later he did go through RCIA and was confirmed. Since then, however, he has maintained an attitude of “I’ll go to church and follow the rules - or not - if I feel like it.” Our kids definitely received conflicting messages from the us. Two of them decided to take the easy road like their father does, and feel no particular attachment to the Catholic church or any other church.

Looking back, I very much appreciate the current Catholic marriage preparation with a fairly drawn-out engagement period and plenty of opportunity for counseling and instruction. I wish I had received the benefit of such a program before I got married.

 

[iloveangels]

It’s a mixed bag. Sometimes the Protestant spouse becomes a great Catholic, and other times the best you can get is a “do it my own way” pseudo-Catholic.

Yes, and sometimes the Catholic becomes Protestant. There are no guarantees.

 

[joe370]

Agreed. You know, if one thinks about it from a Catholic perspective, it seems to me that mixed marriages might be a good way to bring non-Catholics into the CC. I have no data to back up if that happens with great frequency, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it does.

Jon

I find it best to simply tell non-catholics, in terms of my conversion story, what led me to the CC, as opposed to attempting to proselytize. Of course that has not worked with my family members.

 

[IgnatianPhilo]

Non demons miss the point of church, that an ecclesiastical structure, set order and way to do things has been instituted by the apostles. My frustration with non denoms is that they think they can just open a church from merely reading the bible and be considered a full and true Church but if I were to ask any Non denom this;

“In the first century could one be in the church but outside communion with the apostles?” The answer is always no. And we know the desciples made people into authorities, they knew they would die this is why they established Episkopos, why has the order of things changed? Why is succession taboo? Why were the apostles privelged with things we cannot have?

 

[Reuben_J]

Alex:

I’ve been married to my Catholic spouse for nearly 10 years. We eloped and that worked out well for us. There were various reasons why we didn’t have a church wedding, but one of the reasons was that it just wasn’t that important to us.

You need to be real honest about what you expect from your spouse in terms of practicing faith in the future.

My husband will NEVER, EVER, EVER worship in a protestant church with me. My situation’s a bit more complicated because he’s the non-practicing person in the relationship. Still, if I want him to go to church with me, then it’s going to be a Catholic Church. There is just no way a Catholic will seriously worship in a Protestant church for any length of time.

Before RCIA, I didn’t get that. I thought like you…a church is just a church like any other church on the block. Now that I’m going through it, I totally get the reasoning.

If you accept that the Catholic Church is really the church that was given to us by Jesus through St. Peter, then why would you accept anything less than the church that Jesus, himself, gave us?

Anyway…until we had our son, I was okay going just kind of floating around in my non-denominational Christian bubble and he was happy sleeping in on Sundays (and so was I actually!)

Now that my son’s around elementary school age, it’s very important to me that he’s educated in faith. It’s really not that important to my husband, so the responsibility is something that I need to take on.

In light of the dynamic, I finally checked out my parish’s RCIA class. I started going because my status and relationship with the Catholic church needs to be clarified.

If you are going to get into a mixed marriage, then you need to do it with your eyes wide open.

You need to realize that your spouse will not come to your church and worship with you or take communion with you because in Catholic eyes, Protestantism is just BS/‘faux’ religion.

They might show up out of love and respect for you or a special event, but if they are practicing Catholics, then they aren’t going to ditch their faith for yours. That’s just reality.

If you have kids and you raise them Catholic, you (as a Protestant) will not be able to share in the Eucharist with your kid because you are not in full communion with the Catholic Church.

Yes, there is respect because you are a Christian and are trying to live a Christian life, but Protestantism is different than Catholicism.

If your spouse-to-be is devoted to her faith, then she isn’t going to change her belief system for a man. She’s just being real with you.

Men come and go, but Jesus is forever

A mixed marriage is one thing, but a mixed marriage w/kids is an entirely other struggle! There are plenty of couples who navigate this successfully. Still, every couple has to find their own way and there isn’t a manual.

You are welcome to PM me and ask more questions if you want.

Jo

Thanks for sharing a real life experience. Hope this will give some idea to the OP on what a mixed marriage will pass through, though two marriages can never be the same.

More and more Catholics enter into mixed marriages and though parents would usually hope that their children will marry Catholics, in reality Catholics are quite liberal with whom they marry - thus the many mixed marriages among Catholics especially in an inter-religious area.

My wife was not a Christian and she knew what was going for her when she married me. I did not ask her to convert but she knew my ‘way of life’ as a Catholic. She often followed me to the mass when we were dating and more or less understand the Catholic cultural things at my home. She decided to become Catholic and not long after that we got married.

I don’t know until this day whether she became a Catholic because of me or because it was really her decision to become one. In any case we were fortunate as that one obstacle was overcome. The marriage was not easy though - a recent Catholic can be more fervent than a cradle one and tend to interpret Church’s rules more strictly and literally. I remember how upset she was when she saw me did not go for the Holy Communion. What mortal sin did I commit or something. It was tough explaining to her how we honor the Communion by not receiving and it was not just because of mortal sin!

It is a mistake to convert because of marriage but it also can open the non-Catholics into understanding Catholicism better so that an informed decision could be made whether to convert or not.

God bless.

 

[joe370]

Non demons miss the point of church, that an ecclesiastical structure, set order and way to do things has been instituted by the apostles. My frustration with non denoms is that they think they can just open a church from merely reading the bible and be considered a full and true Church but if I were to ask any Non denom this;

“In the first century could one be in the church but outside communion with the apostles?” The answer is always no. And we know the desciples made people into authorities, they knew they would die this is why they established Episkopos, why has the order of things changed? Why is succession taboo? Why were the apostles privelged with things we cannot have?

Good point.

 

[iloveangels]

Non demons miss the point of church, that an ecclesiastical structure, set order and way to do things has been instituted by the apostles. My frustration with non denoms is that they think they can just open a church from merely reading the bible and be considered a full and true Church …

And you became the king of the universe when?

 

[sojo]

Disclaimer - I haven’t read every single post on this thread.

I’m speaking as an adult convert, and my husband is an adult convert. There is a whole cultural dimension to the Catholic Church. This is NOT why we converted. We each converted for private, profound reasons. But it was a little perk of the Church. As a Catholic family, having gone through some tragedies and now raising our only son who has Down syndrome, we feel totally immersed in the Catholic family.

We home school our son, and the liturgical calendar, the change of seasons, liturgy, colors, devotions and practices are comforting and have provided my son with a lot of structure and instruction in a way he can understand.

There is a profound comfort to having your family genuflect, enter the pew and then all kneel before the tabernacle together. The joy of all saying grace before each meal, the Advent wreath, the Easter traditions. The satisfaction of baptisms, first communions, confirmations, etc. These are so so fulfilling.

Retreats, cursillos, daily Mass, or serving as lectors, ushers, etc. When a family embraces this all together, it is a glorious thing. Daily Mass, adoration, private and family devotions - THE FAMILY ROSARY! These are things a young Catholic woman may crave. And when tragedies hit, as they almost always do, our Church provides counseling, novenas, devotions, and answers in our Catechism and magistry.

Some young women crave a white bridal dress and a big wedding. and a fancy honeymoon. Some women could care less and elope. But some young Catholic women have a desire to raise a Catholic family at the side of a Catholic man, and who can blame her? It is a very hard world right now. Speaking as a convert, if I were a cradle Catholic young woman, I would be determined to try and find a like-minded Catholic man to marry.

Finally - as a child of a mixed marriage, I know how hard that is. I was pretty much left with nothing and a lot of floundering. I’m so grateful to have found a home in what I truly believe is the one true Church. I say this realizing that others may thing their church is the one true church. But as far as why your girlfriend wants to marry a Catholic… I think I understand. Being a Catholic is different than going to Church every Sunday and maybe a bible class on Wed. It is an all-encompassing thing that wraps around you and holds you close until the day we finally enter into God’s presence personally in heaven.

 

[Kal2012]

I don’t know until this day whether she became a Catholic because of me or because it was really her decision to become one. In any case we were fortunate as that one obstacle was overcome. The marriage was not easy though - a recent Catholic can be more fervent than a cradle one and tend to interpret Church’s rules more strictly and literally. I remember how upset she was when she saw me did not go for the Holy Communion. What mortal sin did I commit or something. It was tough explaining to her how we honor the Communion by not receiving and it was not just because of mortal sin!

It is a mistake to convert because of marriage but it also can open the non-Catholics into understanding Catholicism better so that an informed decision could be made whether to convert or not.

God bless.

That’s something my husband is struggling with right now.

He wants to be sure that I’m not converting for him, but because I actually Believe.

I’m struggling w/the fact that he’s actually interested/surprised that I’m looking into converting because he’s shown no interest in church/mass for most of our marriage.

(totally describes his reaction).

Honestly, we’ve been married so long that it’s hard not to think of him as part of me (in ‘the flesh becomes one’ way). And, in some ways, I can’t just think about me any more because I am the female head of my family. Still, I am doing this for myself and my growth and relationship with Jesus Christ. I’ve just gotten to a point where I just can’t remain in a spot of indecisiveness.

My main motivation is to provide clarity for myself, so that I can do my best to properly educate my son in faith because, ultimately, I love Jesus and I want my son to love Jesus too!

I totally wish I would have done this research a long time ago, so that I could be more of a teacher to my son, not both a student/teacher at the same time. However, I wasn’t receptive to being a Catholic when we got married - even though I did some preliminary research to understand my husband’s faith and have devout Catholic friends. Part of my experience though has been watching these families live out their faith in very real ways and just paying attention/asking questions. They aren’t just Christmas and Easter Catholics/Christians and I really appreciate the example they’ve set for me as I struggle with my own path.

My RCIA class is really small. My husband went through RCIA years ago and was really surprised that my class has less than 10 people in it. Apparently, this isn’t the norm.

That said, everyone in my RCIA class is there because they are married to a Catholic (except one, who attends the class w/her non-Catholic spouse) and we all have the desire to become a part of the larger Catholic community.

I’m glad I’m going through the process. Our instructor always reminds us that we can back out at any time if we don’t feel Catholicism is for us. Sometimes, I wonder why there’s such a ‘soft-sell’ because I’m used to the ‘hard-sell’ that other denominations give people about saving your soul. It is what it is.

Have a good Christmas -
Jo

 

[JRKH]

Sojo -

I think yours is the best and perhaps the definitive post on this thread…Thank you for sharing.

Peace
James