How did you propose?

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AllSeasons

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I’ve been courting this wonderful girl, and I’m planning to pop the big question soon. And you may have already seen my other thread about buying an engagement ring. I’d also like some advice on how to propose, specifically, the location, date, manner, and speech. She already knows that I’ll be proposing, so that takes some pressure off - I know she really is doing her best to make it easier for me. That said, I still want it to be the perfect proposal. I was thinking of maybe proposing in front of the blessed sacrament after Benediction or something like that. Not too fancy, but it has to have meaning, and it has to have something to do with our faith. I’ll probably be writing and practicing my speech at home, so any help there would be greatly appreciated, too. Thank you in advance.
 
Maybe you are overthinking this. The proposal is only a beginning, not a major event. If she accepts, you can expect a lifetime of major and minor events, planned and unplanned, good and bad.

As for my own proposal. We were very much in love. We had been going together for maybe nine or ten months. One evening, watching TV together with her at my parents house while everyone else was in bed, I thought it was time to ask.

I’ve mentioned it before, but before I said anything, I reflected briefly on the fact that if we married, it would be for life. Could we grow old together? Yes, we could. So I popped the question.

She thought about it for a few minutes, and the said, “Okay.”

Later, on her birthday, I gave her a ring. (She picked it out.)
 
That’s wonderful you found a girl to marry.

My advice? Don’t do a speech. Especially if it’s something you have to rehearse. You’ll be even more nervous then if you just say something really simple and speak from the heart.

My husband proposed to me while we were vacationing in Europe. We were in Monte Carlo outside the famous Casino overlooking the water.

I knew he was going to propose to me soon. We had talked about it at length and he had got my ring size and asked me what kind of ring I wanted. He also told me he probably wouldn’t be able to do an actual proposal for a few months because he wanted to buy the ring first and do it properly.

Imagine my surprise, a couple of weeks after this conversation, he asked me to marry him while we were in Europe.

I’ll never forget what he said. He sent me off to take some pictures and when I went back to him he was sitting on a stone wall. He looked sad and I asked him what was wrong.
He said: “I’m sorry I can’t ask you to marry me while we are in Italy.”
Italy was our next stop on the trip.
I started telling him it was okay and not to worry about it.
He produced a gorgeous ring and said “so, how about I ask you in France instead?”

I was shocked and nearly speechless. He had to repeat “will you marry me?” and then asked me to back up so he could get down on one knee.

Of course, I said yes. 😃

The point is…the proposal will be memorable. More so if you make it simple. Tell her you love her and ask her to marry you. If you’re on one knee for more then 5 seconds…that is too much and it takes away from the moment.

Proposals will be memorable…you don’t have to make a production out of it.
 
“Perfect” is perfectly you. Make it fit the two of you, and it will be great.
 
I have no advice to offer, other than to wish you great joy. Congratulations on your decision. Regardless of how you propose, if you end up happily married, then you will be in good shape.
 
This could be an interesting book topic if you were able to interview a variety of people.

What is right for one couple depends on the people involved.

I proposed after an interdenominational sunrise service on Easter Sunday at Great Falls park on the Potomac River in Virginia. Since my wife is Protestant, that was right for us. The weather and setting on that day were perfect.

I think my wife had an idea that I was going to propose although we had not specifically discussed it.

Good luck.
 
My take: people will be asking her “how did he propose?” for the rest of her life. Give her a memorable story to tell. That’s doesn’t mean it has to be some elaborate production, but she’s going to re-live it every time she tells it, so bear that in mind.

My wife loves to tell the story of how I proposed, so mission accomplished for me. I wince a little when I listen to a woman say - in a thoroughly underwhelmed voice - something like: “We were eating dinner at Applebee’s and he asked me.”

My story: she knew it was coming during a vacation in Vermont. I brought the ring with me everywhere during the trip, trying to find a good time/place, but some circumstance intervened every day. On the last day and starting to fret, I stumbled upon a somewhat hidden waterfall on a tiny river and it was perfect. I lured her out there with the promise of a “perfect photo opportunity,” got down on one knee, said how I felt from the heart (no rehearsing), and asked. She said yes!
 
EasterJoy said:
“Perfect” is perfectly you. Make it fit the two of you, and it will be great.
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👍

Just like her engagement ring, in the other thread, *because *it is with you, it will be special.

The only thing I wouldn’t do is to do it in public. Well, I don’t mean in public, just not with everyone watching you.

This is an important part of your life. It isn’t something to share with a football stadium.
 
Each couple is different. When my husband proposed, it was sweet and simple. We had been dating 2 1/2 years and we already had all the talks about religion (we were 2 different denominations), children, career goals, that it was going to be for a lifetime, etc. It was Easter weekend and he was at my house, he took leave and all of my family was there, they were all out on the porch enjoying the nice weather and he pulled me inside. Got down on one knee and poor thing froze up. He asked for a glass of water. LOL. I went and got him some water, he chugged it and took a deep breath. He told me that he loved me and that it would be an honor that I would accept his proposal to marriage. I told him yes, gave him a kiss, and ran outside to show my mom, grandmother and sister the ring. haha.

I had a friend who had a big proposal with a surprise photographer who was hiding to take pictures and the whole shebang. I wouldn’t have liked that.

This should come from you and should come from your heart. A big speech isn’t needed, this is your life…it isn’t a romantic movie. 🙂
 
Whatever you do make it romantic and memorable. This does not mean abseiling over Niagara falls. Paris is good; maccas is not. Get the drift? As a wise post stated, she will relive it in the telling. So get it right for her.
 
The most interesting proposal story I’ve heard was told to me by a friend of mine. He proposed to his prospective wife while she was on a date with another man.

He had long procrastinated, and she had decided that maybe it was time to move on, so she started dating other men. She invited a guy over for dinner. Her now-husband saw the new guy’s car parked in front of her apartment, and thought, huh, maybe I should act now. Also he might have been a little drunk. He knocked on the door and proposed. She asked her date to leave, then had him say it again. They are still together after many decades.

I had heard the story from him but not from her. So at a get together at their home once, I said, Hey, J, tell us how K proposed to you. She told the same story. Everyone loved it.
 
My husband proposed at a fair.
I was volunteering there and I saw a ring I liked, but I didn’t have my stuff with me. He came later, bought the ring for me and said “But this is it, then, you know?” and slipped it on my finger with a smile. 😃 And that really was it. 🙂
It wasn’t really planned, but it was so cute, the ring was a sweet little trinket, cost $3, but I liked it very much. Later he wanted to buy me a “real” ring, but I don’t really care for expensive jewellery so I kept the original one. 🙂
 
Make it fit the two of you.

When my husband proposed, it certainly wasn’t romantic, but, I know that he isn’t the go overboard with romance kind of guy. lol We had talked about marrying, we had already talked extensively about every important topic (so much so that our EE weekend was insanely boring & to be honest, a waste of both time & money for us), etc. he never actually “asked”, it was more of me opening the ring (it was my birthday gift), & us having a fantastic conversation about our future, during which he put the ring on my finger.

I don’t have a moonlight & roses romantic story to tell, but who cares? I married the man I love, & that was all that mattered.
 
The joke in the family is that I proposed “by accident”.

We were decorating my parent’s Christmas tree. I found myself on my knees, searching for something I dropped. I looked up, and there she was, so I asked her! Totally unromantic, but it was/is us. We then went out and bought a ring.

The backstory is that we had known each other for five years, had talked about it a lot, and we knew.
 
Tailor your proposal to who the two of you are as a couple. It doesn’t need to be a big production. Also, if she is the kind of person who doesn’t like attention, do not do it in public. I also would advise against a “speech”. It’s not a movie scene, it’s real life, and the more genuine you are the better it will be.

Don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself to create the setting for a “perfect” story she will tell everyone. The perfect proposal is the one where she says yes! Everything else is just details.
 
I’m a guy in my mid fifties, but I have to say that this whole guy popping the question thing is so weird.

Creating a family together is a business proposition as well as a romantic pairing. There should be a lot a discussions about marriage and your life together, then, you both decide to get married. This whole idea of the man “deems” to marry the woman and the woman expects this big romantic proposal doesn’t make sense to me. But, to each his own.

Yes, I believe what the Lord says about marriage. Yes, I believe that a man takes care of his wife and family and should love his wife the way Christ loves His Church.
 
AllSeasons said:
I’d also like some advice on how to propose, specifically, the location, date, manner, and speech. She already knows that I’ll be proposing, so that takes some pressure off - I
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First, get tickets to the Super Bowl. Second, tell the network that you’ll be proposing, and ask them what time works best for their broadcast. Third, when they give you the sign, get down on one knee in front of your girlfriend (and a billion people around the world). Fourth, keep one eye on the Jumbotron so you can watch it along with everyone else. 😛 And make sure to have a friend film it for YouTube.

You know what? Do whatever seems natural for you. You already know the answer, right?

It’ll be easier than you think. And once it’s over, you’ll wonder, “That’s it? That’s all it took?” 🙂

I had a “favorite spot” within walking distance of my wife’s apartment. A nice, open hillside with a great view of the city. We went to admire the sunset. We were sitting on the grass, and I just pulled the ring out of my pocket. I tried to say something profound and memorable, like, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you…” but she knew what I was going to say before I said it, so the words got all jumbled.

She said afterward that she knew that I was going to propose because of how stressed and distracted I was acting. So, in a way, the whole set-up didn’t make any difference. 😉
 
PaulinVA said:
I’m a guy in my mid fifties, but I have to say that this whole guy popping the question thing is so weird.

Creating a family together is a business proposition as well as a romantic pairing. There should be a lot a discussions about marriage and your life together, then, you both decide to get married. This whole idea of the man “deems” to marry the woman and the woman expects this big romantic proposal doesn’t make sense to me. But, to each his own.

Yes, I believe what the Lord says about marriage. Yes, I believe that a man takes care of his wife and family and should love his wife the way Christ loves His Church.
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An engagement shouldn’t be a surprise. Marriage should definitely be carefully discerned.

A proposal CAN be a surprise though. And its scriptural (song of songs). The man woos the woman…proposes love. She opens to it.

God is the initiator of gift, we receive. Marriage takes up that imagery, where man is initiator.
 
I agree with all those who said you really need to just do what works best for you two. What is a dream proposal for one girl may not be for the next.

I went around to all the places that were significant in our relationship and took pictures of me holding up different letters. Then I made a scrapbook and as you filpped through each page, it spelled out “Will You Marry Me?” The last page was a picture of me down on one knee in the very spot I was proposing wearing exactly the same thing. It worked well for me, too, because I didn’t have to think of what to say and all the major prep work was done in advance. :o It took a lot of time, though. 😛
 
PaulinVA said:
Creating a family together is a business proposition as well as a romantic pairing. There should be a lot a discussions about marriage and your life together, then, you both decide to get married. This whole idea of the man “deems” to marry the woman and the woman expects this big romantic proposal doesn’t make sense to me. But, to each his own.
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This thread is about proposals themselves, not what came before or after, so maybe people who did discuss marriage just didn’t write about that because that wasn’t the question.

In our case, we talked about marriage before he proposed, talked a lot, about all the things in our everyday life and future, bigger things like kids and money and jobs and families. There haven’t been many surprises in our married life, so I guess we covered at least many of the important topics.
But we were both surprised with the proposal, it was a spur of the moment thing. 🙂
 
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