How do bring back my faith?

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Gash

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I’m a 20 year old woman. I’m not a practicing Catholic, though I used to be through high school.

I don’t really know how to explain why I completely stopped. I still believe in God, but I feel entirely disconnected. I don’t like praying, I don’t even like talking about it or even posting about it. For me, faith feels forced and unnatural. And trying to force it is very difficult for me.

But I want to be a good person. I was raised Catholic and I think I have it instilled in my mind somewhere that I HAVE to have faith in God and in the Catholic beliefs in order to be a good person.

I don’t know if anyone here remembers answering to another one of my threads about a year ago. But I posted about premarial sex which I started having at 18, about 2 and a half years ago. I still have sex and am not married. I’ve had multiple partners and while sometimes I feel guilty about this (only because I was raised to think its wrong), a lot of the time, I don’t.

My current boyfriend practices so many habbits that I was raised to shun. He also has premarial sex (with me, and in the past with previous girl friends), he smokes, drinks, and used to do drugs but has been clean for 5 years. (Is a felon for possession), and he watches porn. But I still love him.

I feel like there are so many obstacles I have to overcome: sex, going to church, and I don’t even have the faith to pray. I mean I can, but I feel so disconnected. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to start. I don’t even know if I’m really doing anything wrong. I hardly encounter people with the values my parents tried to instill in me. Everything and everyone is different. Everything on tv and movies… But that’s the world I live in. And I can’t ignore it.

Any advice?
 
Hi Gash,

I remember your post about a year ago – I think I posted in the thread. It’s hard to be excited about religion when you’re living in a spiritual desert, isn’t it? What sort of thing inspires you to want to be better?

I think you’re right that we do have an inner urge to be Catholic that never leaves us, no matter how far away we are from the Church. Regarding your boyfriend, if you think that premarital sex is sinful (it is), and love your boyfriend, you’d want him to stop sinning. If he loved you in the same sense, he’d want you to stop doing what is sinful as well. I think you should consider how addictive and alluring sinful things are (not just physical stuff: emotional, intellectual, etc), and consider whether these things are tricking you into thinking what you have is love
 
I remember you very well. I am sad that you are still in the same situation. Something (Some One) is whispering to you…telling you that there is more to life than what you are doing now…Something much deeper and more satisfying…Don’t worry, dear sister in Christ, the Holy Spirit will not leave you alone, and the whisper will eventually become louder or bigger. There is an ache inside you somewhere way down deep, that will never be filled by anything the world holds, especially not sin.

It is my observation that the people whom God starts calling while they are still in sin, are some of the most powerful converts or reverts; He uses them in His arsenal against the devil. Count yourself lucky to be among them. Many people, if not most, don’t think a thing about faith while they are sinning.
 
Ahh … Been there … done that… (with almost negligable differences).

Here’s the thing with church and prayer: just do it. It’s the same as exercise and diet. We don’t see the effects immediately. Sometimes we get that “high” but usually we’re just exhausted.

You understand the loss of not going or you wouldn’t be here.
You hear God calling or you wouldn’t be reading this.

It may seem silly or annoying, but just go to Mass every Sunday.
Don’t take communion if you don’t “get it”. It will be that much sweeter when you do.
Go to confession and feel free to tell the priest that you don’t think you should feel bad about non-procreative sex ( I didn’t get it 'till just recently ( duh ) ). Don’t worry if you don’t; so much is coming against God and the Church that it’s a miracle in and of itself that you are even reading this.
Still - go to Mass every Sunday. Every day if you can. Don’t expect to “get it”; but try to have faith that you will. Can you find some other reason/excuse to be at Mass. Can you join the choir for example? Don’t expect you’ll feel out of place; most choir members I’ve known have been in the hardest struggles.

Also - I can not tell you enough how amazing and transformative licit, repetitious pray is.
Praying the rosary every day (~30 mins)
or the Divine Mercy Chaplet (~10 mins)
or even just “The Angelus” (~ 1 min)
have brought profound change and understanding in the lives of all in my family.

I thank God that He has opened these doors for us. I pray that you get there too.
It really is beyond description to try to walk God’s path.
Baby steps, sister.

Peace.
 
Gash said:
I’m a 20 year old woman. I’m not a practicing Catholic, though I used to be through high school.

I don’t really know how to explain why I completely stopped. I still believe in God, but I feel entirely disconnected. I don’t like praying, I don’t even like talking about it or even posting about it. For me, faith feels forced and unnatural. And trying to force it is very difficult for me.

But I want to be a good person. I was raised Catholic and I think I have it instilled in my mind somewhere that I HAVE to have faith in God and in the Catholic beliefs in order to be a good person.

I don’t know if anyone here remembers answering to another one of my threads about a year ago. But I posted about premarial sex which I started having at 18, about 2 and a half years ago. I still have sex and am not married. I’ve had multiple partners and while sometimes I feel guilty about this (only because I was raised to think its wrong), a lot of the time, I don’t.

My current boyfriend practices so many habbits that I was raised to shun. He also has premarial sex (with me, and in the past with previous girl friends), he smokes, drinks, and used to do drugs but has been clean for 5 years. (Is a felon for possession), and he watches porn. But I still love him.

I feel like there are so many obstacles I have to overcome: sex, going to church, and I don’t even have the faith to pray. I mean I can, but I feel so disconnected. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to start. I don’t even know if I’m really doing anything wrong. I hardly encounter people with the values my parents tried to instill in me. Everything and everyone is different. Everything on tv and movies… But that’s the world I live in. And I can’t ignore it.

Any advice?
Click to expand...
Honestly when I read this I felt a deep pain in my heart. I am a 21 year old male and I would be very sad if my future wife continued to live in such a way. What helps me is going to church alone/when it is empty and kneeling right before the holy sacrament. I let everything out and mediate on how true love is only possible with Jesus Christ and thank him for always loving me no matter what.

P.S. We live in the world, but we our NOT of the world.

Also, this is just a random poem I really like 🙂

One night
I dreamed
I was walking
along the beach
with the Lord.
Many scenes of my life
flashed across the sky. In each
scene I noticed footprints
in the sand. Sometimes there
were two sets of footprints.
Other times there were one
set of footprints. This
bothered me because
I noticed that during the
low periods of my life when
I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow, or defeat, I could see
only one set of footprints.
So, I said to the Lord, “You
promised me, Lord, that if
I followed you, you would walk
with me always. But I have
noticed that during the most
trying periods of my life there
have been only one set of
footprints in the sand.
Why, when I have needed
you most, you have
not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “My child,
the times when you have
seen only one set footprints
in the sand are the times
when I have carried you.”

God Bless
 
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