How do Catholic schools deal with same-sex "married" parents?

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HomeschoolDad

HomeschoolDad

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Just wondering. Let’s say a gay or lesbian couple, in a same-sex marriage, have children (whether by adoption, surrogacy, or previous relationships — that’s beside the point). They take their children to the local Catholic school to apply for admission.

What happens next? And if they are admitted, are the parents made to feel welcome or unwelcome?

I do not in the least bit condone “gay marriage”, but should the children have to suffer for their parents’ situation? And wouldn’t having their parents ostracized be a form of suffering? Possibility of bullying, and how would the school address that? And what about EF Latin Mass parishes? Would they handle matters any differently, and why?

“Coming soon to a parish near you…”
 
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I’ve often wondered if the school was truly Catholic and taught the faith why would a homosexual couple want their kids there?
 
A lot of Catholic schools are Catholic in name only, so maybe they are under the impression that every Catholic school does not take moral theology seriously and enrolls their kids for the sports/academics.

That or they just want to play victim when a Catholic school acts like a Catholic school.
 
It is generally up to the director of the school and the bishop of the diocese, if you are referring to schools run by the local Catholic diocese, ignoring schools that are “unofficially” Catholic, or Catholic in name only. Some schools have indeed refused admission to children of same-sex couples. Some admit them, but usually will give a warning on what the Church believes and teaches, and what the child will be taught in the school.

Here’s an article of an instance less than a year ago:

https://catholicherald.co.uk/news/2...at-refused-to-admit-child-of-same-sex-couple/
 
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I just figured that parents of children attending Catholic school would be expected to adhere to Catholic teachings. Why would parents send children to a school which is going to teach them that their parents are living in a manner opposed to the Gospel?
 
Exactly. I know of Catholic schools who allowed kids from families whose parents were just living together, divorced and remarried, etc. The kids didn’t care, the parents gossiped about it- but nothing else happened.
 
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TC3033 said:
Didn’t we have a thread on this once before where this happened?
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I couldn’t find it. If you can direct us to it, and post the link, that would be great.
Mrchatsworth said:
I’ve often wondered if the school was truly Catholic and taught the faith why would a homosexual couple want their kids there?
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Perhaps for the excellence of the curriculum and the teachers? Perhaps because the public schools in town are no good? There are many people, who are not 100% on board with the Church’s teachings, and publicly flout them in their own lives (divorce and invalid “remarriage” with no annulment would be just one example — we had that even back in the Stone Age when I went to Catholic school!), who nonetheless want their children to go to a Catholic school. And then there are non-Catholics, who would not be expected to adhere to the Church’s teachings in the first place.
JimG said:
I just figured that parents of children attending Catholic school would be expected to adhere to Catholic teachings. Why would parents send children to a school which is going to teach them that their parents are living in a manner opposed to the Gospel?
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See my comments above.

When you send your children to a Catholic school, you know going in what they are going to be taught (or at least I would hope the school teaches in accord with orthodox Catholic doctrine — if not, that a whole other problem right there!). If that’s not acceptable to parents, then they shouldn’t send their children there in the first place. In the case of non-Catholics, at least, the students are not forced to believe or give assent to what they are taught — but they are expected to know it. For instance, if I went to Brigham Young University, I would be expected to take an LDS religion course, and to know and be able to explain LDS teachings on an exam or term paper, even if I did not accept them. Ditto for a school of any other religion.

Bottom line, any Catholic school worth its salt, when the time comes that discussion would be age-appropriate, is going to teach (again, I’d certainly hope so) that homosexual activity is immoral and that “gay marriage” is invalid and deeply displeasing to Almighty God. They’d say the same thing at any Baptist or LDS school. If you don’t want your children hearing that, don’t send them there.
 
It is a difficult situation to say the least.
On one hand, I don’t feel homosexual marriage is much different than divorced/remarried Catholics. And yet we don’t discriminate against them. Maybe it is because it isn’t public as much as a same sex couple?

I think if I were the ones making the decisions, I would probably set down with the couple before enrollment and make sure that they know the Church’s stance on same sex marriage and that their child will learn about what the Church teaches. I don’t know. I don’t think it is OK to punish the kid and not allow him in, but on the other hand, it does create issues with other students and seem to undermine what the Church is teaching.
 
CatholicSooner said:
On one hand, I don’t feel homosexual marriage is much different than divorced/remarried Catholics. And yet we don’t discriminate against them. Maybe it is because it isn’t public as much as a same sex couple?
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I tend to agree with you — I’ve thought the same thing — but at least divorced/remarried can, possibly, have their situation remedied, but a homosexual “marriage” can never be made valid or holy. D/R is not against the order of nature, whereas gay marriage is.

At my son’s former school, the principal and the pastor were both aware that my "ex-"wife and her consort were not validly married, but they didn’t say boo about it. I’m pretty sure there were other instances.

If a gay couple ever did try to send their children to Catholic school, I think this would be a valid point for them to raise. I don’t advocate gay marriage, but I do not want innocent children deprived of an education on account of it, and as a matter of justice, I think the gay couple would most certainly be entitled to raise the point of invalid heterosexual marriages being tolerated.
 
On the administrative end, we’re charitable but honest with parents that if their child goes to a Catholic school, they are going to be taught Catholic beliefs. So if they agree to it fine, but if there is protest later that their child is being taught something that they don’t like… well… we have our creed and we stick with it. So the parents will have to decide if it is appropriate to continue to enroll their child.

I personally frown upon excluding a child from school, as I believe this can create a sort of spiritual elitism within a community that is orthodox on the surface and rotten on the interior, but there are also legitimate concerns that the other side expresses. If parents want an absolutely sterile environment to raise their child they’ll need to homeschool because even at a faithful Catholic school, kids are going to be kids and there is going to be the inevitable conflict from time to time that needs resolved through good teaching and direction. It’s a delicate issue.
 
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I agree that homosexual marriages are totally invalid and an offense against God, but I don’t understand why a parent being in such a marriage should cause their child to be rejected from the school. Would admitting the child constitute implicit acceptance of the parents’ homosexual behavior? Should faithful Catholics suspend all dealings with these types of people? Please help clarify this for me, thanks.
 
I believe that it would be almost saying that it is ‘acceptable’ for the parents to live this lifestyle. I leave it up to each school and trust they make the right decision.

I don’t know about suspending all dealings, that would be hard - I am very doctrinally conservative on this issue and I look to Raymond Cardinal Burke for guidance. If you search up his statements on homosexuality, you should have a good idea of what I think.

Although I cannot deny that in some cases a pastoral approach is more suitable.
 
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Turn the question around: Why would two who are in an objectively disordered relationship force a troubling decision upon the Church? Their conscious decision places them at enmity with the moral teaching of the Church. If they are doing it “for the children” then why are they a same-sex couple in the first place?

Riddle me that one, Batman!
 
HomeschoolDad said:
If you don’t want your children hearing that, don’t send them there.
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If a gay couple is willing to send their kid to a Catholic school, they know this will be taught but they probably don’t let it bother them. At home, they teach the child what ever they want. Typically that the Church doesn’t have a monopoly on morality, and that it has it wrong on this issue.
 
JimG said:
I just figured that parents of children attending Catholic school would be expected to adhere to Catholic teachings. Why would parents send children to a school which is going to teach them that their parents are living in a manner opposed to the Gospel?
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Both my kids went to Catholic schools. I’m not sure if it’s applicable to all Catholic schools in Australia but the local schools were obliged to take in 10% of pupils who were not from a Catholic background. I say obliged as almost all Catholic schools receive public funding.
 
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