How do Catholics have fun at nightclubs?

[AuditVocemMeam]

Using a contrast such as “misguided” vs. “the height of depravity” is going a bit far, though, don’t you think? Kissing some guy you just met today where everyone can see you do it is foolish, yes, worthy of embarrassment, yes, but not exactly evidence of “absolutely meaningless sexuality.” Not everyone who accelerates too fast necessarily lacks brakes. Some people are after exactly the meaningless kind of encounter you’re talking about–I say this because they do, so it requires no judgment to say it!–but others leap in after their emotions too quickly, instead, and repent at their rashness at their leisure. And yes, sometimes marry each other some day, too…the little new stories of people married 60 years are full of those rash couples who jumped into marriage after knowing each other a week. As the song goes,* “C’est la vie”, say the old folks, “it goes to show you never can tell”*

If it is more lewd than kissing, then let’s hope that not even the married would feel free to do it in public. If some couple is doing things in public not decent to do in public, it hardly matters to me whether they are married, engaged, or total strangers. If something is properly kept private, it ought to be done in private. They need to get some self-control and cut it out! If an establishment were one where that was the norm, I’d leave. It is not pharisaical to say that something like that upsets one’s stomach!

Maybe I should have been more harsh on the couple-in-a-relationship, then I wasn’t thinking of just kissing but of the sexualized and provocative “making out,” and I meant not necessarily that the people themselves hold sexuality to be absolutely meaningless in their own personal thoughts, but that it is a sign of the general meaninglessness of sexuality which has overcome our culture. I am thinking of what Benedict XVI referred to as the “banalization of sexuality” and of sexuality as “a sort of drug that people administer to themselves.”

 

[EasterJoy]

Maybe I should have been more harsh on the couple-in-a-relationship, then I wasn’t thinking of just kissing but of the sexualized and provocative “making out,” and I meant not necessarily that the people themselves hold sexuality to be absolutely meaningless in their own personal thoughts, but that it is a sign of the general meaninglessness of sexuality which has overcome our culture. I am thinking of what Benedict XVI referred to as the “banalization of sexuality” and of sexuality as “a sort of drug that people administer to themselves.”

Some people do go out to the clubs with the idea that they want to find a total stranger to paw in front of everyone, but I think far more of them just get too much to drink…and yes, they have done that in a place where their lack of inhibition is likely to get them into a lot of trouble. It is hardly uncommon for people to go to clubs at night expecting a good time and to be full of regret when they awake the next morning, sometimes because they don’t remember exactly what they did. As you pointed out, alcohol abuse is a recipe for moral disaster, but especially when you go somewhere where absolutely no one is going to step in and save you from yourself with regards to your public conduct. Anyone with that kind of problem should stay far away from night clubs!

A person who is in full control of their alcohol use and surrounded by moral social companions, however, can have a nice time at a night club…if you like trying to have a conversation at a bar with live music, or the music is good enough that you are willing to put off all conversation.

I wouldn’t go to one expecting to find a nice Catholic husband or wife, though, not unless I lived somewhere where one can barely throw a rock without hitting an observant Catholic. I wouldn’t like the odds. The Catholic population in Oregon is under 15%, and a lot of those don’t attend Mass regularly. I think the figure for the US is around 20% of Catholics of all ages, and the unmarried have to have the worst rate. I’m just guessing, but it seems reasonable that there is some inverse correlation between weekly Mass attendance and regular night club attendance. So I think your chances of randomly meeting a Mass-attending Catholic at a night club wouldn’t be very good. You pretty much have to bring your own. Still, if memory serves me correctly, that is exactly where a then-Protestant friend of mine met hers. Before she met him, she wanted two kids, tops, when she married. Now she’s Catholic and has six kids. So go figure.

 

[LegoGE1947]

Some people do go out to the clubs with the idea that they want to find a total stranger to paw in front of everyone, but I think far more of them just get too much to drink…and yes, they have done that in a place where their lack of inhibition is likely to get them into a lot of trouble. It is hardly uncommon for people to go to clubs at night expecting a good time and to be full of regret when they awake the next morning, sometimes because they don’t remember exactly what they did. As you pointed out, alcohol abuse is a recipe for moral disaster, but especially when you go somewhere where absolutely no one is going to step in and save you from yourself with regards to your public conduct. Anyone with that kind of problem should stay far away from night clubs!

A person who is in full control of their alcohol use and surrounded by moral social companions, however, can have a nice time at a night club…if you like trying to have a conversation at a bar with live music, or the music is good enough that you are willing to put off all conversation.

I wouldn’t go to one expecting to find a nice Catholic husband or wife, though, not unless I lived somewhere where one can barely throw a rock without hitting an observant Catholic. I wouldn’t like the odds. The Catholic population in Oregon is under 15%, and a lot of those don’t attend Mass regularly. I think the figure for the US is around 20% of Catholics of all ages, and the unmarried have to have the worst rate. I’m just guessing, but it seems reasonable that there is some inverse correlation between weekly Mass attendance and regular night club attendance. So I think your chances of randomly meeting a Mass-attending Catholic at a night club wouldn’t be very good. You pretty much have to bring your own. Still, if memory serves me correctly, that is exactly where a then-Protestant friend of mine met hers. Before she met him, she wanted two kids, tops, when she married. Now she’s Catholic and has six kids. So go figure.

The only guys I’ve ever kissed were about 6 years old or younger.

 

[Burt_Macklin]

I really enjoy going out, find a good band and some good beer and just relax with friends. We stay up all night swapping manly stories and in the morning, I make waffles.

My favorite part of is the street food though. Good kebabs are the best part of the whole experience.

 

[Debora123]

There are always going to be the select few Catholics out there who are against going out to bars/clubs, having a drink, dancing, etc etc. Though they may be personally against such behavior, such behavior IS NOT something that is against our Catholic faith. There are some protestant denominations out there (Fundamentalist Southern Baptists, etc…) who actually do have laws against these behaviors, but Catholics do not.

Just figured I’d set the record straight for any lurkers who may be reading this and getting the wrong idea about Catholicism.

 

[LegoGE1947]

There are always going to be the select few Catholics out there who are against going out to bars/clubs, having a drink, dancing, etc etc. Though they may be personally against such behavior, such behavior IS NOT something that is against our Catholic faith. There are some protestant denominations out there (Fundamentalist Southern Baptists, etc…) who actually do have laws against these behaviors, but Catholics do not.

Just figured I’d set the record straight for any lurkers who may be reading this and getting the wrong idea about Catholicism.

The Church teaches moderation in all things. For some people, moderation in some things has to mean “stay away from it”. Not being judgmental, it just is what it is. I, for example, must stay away from alcoholic beverages. My wife must stay away from foods with high amounts of sugar, cause she is diabetic. Etc.

 

[EasterJoy]

The only guys I’ve ever kissed were about 6 years old or younger.

Nothing wrong with that!!

 

[chevalier]

I’ve never been to a nightclub, and I’ve been to very few parties. I’m not even old enough to go to a 21+ club, but I like to plan ahead. I was looking at another post where most people thought that going to a nightclub and “having some fun” was good for Catholics.

Here is my question: what does that fun consist of, for you?

(Also, if you go to clubs where strangers make out and whatnot, how do you deal with it?)

I don’t. I’m an intelligent person and have always been interested in things like culture and civilisation and all. When I see dancing in night clubs, I basically see a fertility show. Even if it’s subtle, I generally still see the sexual associations. I also don’t like seeing people lose themselves in it, as in enter into a light form of trance or something like that, with the erotic atmosphere.

Not like there’s anything particularly bad about polite waltz, though it too used to be abhorred by saints and clerics.

 

[EasterJoy]

I really enjoy going out, find a good band and some good beer and just relax with friends. We stay up all night swapping manly stories and in the morning, I make waffles.

My favorite part of is the street food though. Good kebabs are the best part of the whole experience.

This is how people make innocent use of a night club. It is OK to make this kind of use of it and to ignore any people at the same venue who aren’t self-controlled.

 

[Debora123]

The Church teaches moderation in all things. For some people, moderation in some things has to mean “stay away from it”. Not being judgmental, it just is what it is. I, for example, must stay away from alcoholic beverages. My wife must stay away from foods with high amounts of sugar, cause she is diabetic. Etc.

I’m just trying to make this easy and straight forward for everyone. Of course if you have issues with something you should stay away from it regardless of what it is. (food, shopping, exercise, etc etc… going out is no different)

The point of my post was simply to point out that these behaviors, in and of themselves, are not sinful to the Catholic faith.

 

[EasterJoy]

I don’t. I’m an intelligent person and have always been interested in things like culture and civilisation and all. When I see dancing in night clubs, I basically see a fertility show. Even if it’s subtle, I generally still see the sexual associations. I also don’t like seeing people lose themselves in it, as in enter into a light form of trance or something like that, with the erotic atmosphere.

Not like there’s anything particularly bad about polite waltz, though it too used to be abhorred by saints and clerics.

There is a lot of contemporary dancing that is a million miles from expressing the dancers’ hopes of becoming parents. Still, it is not a sin, per se, to dance in public, or with a relative stranger.

I’m defining a night club as any place that opens at night with both a bar and live entertainment, usually (but not always) with a dance floor, because I’m at a loss for how else to define one. For instance, I’d consider a comedy club to be a night club. Define it more narrowly, and then the conversation changes, I’m sure!

 

[chevalier]

There is a lot of contemporary dancing that is a million miles from expressing the dancers’ hopes of becoming parents. Still, it is not a sin, per se, to dance in public, or with a relative stranger.

Of course it’s not. Actually, even the hardcorest critics never claimed it was wrong per se.

I’m defining a night club as any place that opens at night with both a bar and live entertainment,

You can find me at the former.

usually (but not always) with a dance floor, because I’m at a loss for how else to define one. For instance, I’d consider a comedy club to be a night club. Define it more narrowly, and then the conversation changes, I’m sure!

I took it to mean a disco, essentially.

Edit:

There is a lot of contemporary dancing that is a million miles from expressing the dancers’ hopes of becoming parents.

There is also an enactment of emotional attachment that is simply not there. I was never able to understand that part, and I generally tended to hope that there was something in it, well, it was incomprehensible to me how certain gestures could be without underlying emotional closeness or trust or whatever else that was. At the same time, the thing was not an openly so defined form of theatre, such as, say, ballet. Nope. For all my love of dancing (actually), I ultimately decided to extricate myself from its venues. I’m not a prude, but few things creep me off like flirting between strangers (of which I’ve done my own part, so no throwing rocks anywhere here).

 

[Debora123]

There is a lot of contemporary dancing that is a million miles from expressing the dancers’ hopes of becoming parents.

I’m defining a night club as any place that opens at night with both a bar and live entertainment, usually (but not always) with a dance floor, because I’m at a loss for how else to define one. For instance, I’d consider a comedy club to be a night club. Define it more narrowly, and then the conversation changes, I’m sure!

A night club consists as more than just the bar top and is not a family restaurant. If you go into a restaurant (a Chili’s or Applebees or whatever), that restaurant has a bar, but it is not a night club.

A night club is a building or room or whatever that contains a bar and is specifically made for night time socializing and partying.

I live in an Air Force base and we have a night club here on base. There is no live entertainment, and there is no dance floor. It’s basically a big room, only open at night, with a bar, some tables, and some pool tables.

 

[S_A_M]

i love party! (even though i just go to a club once, for now) i like to be in the crowd places, place with sparklings, get socialized (because part of me like to sit here, in front my computer all day). BUT, yet i have to control myself. i like the atmosphere, music, but i have to take care of myself. not getting drunk (in fact, i would even choose a plain ordinary water for drink), not doing freesex with women i met, etc. for short, not to do something stupid…

 

[EasterJoy]

Of course it’s not. Actually, even the hardcorest critics never claimed it was wrong per se.

You can find me at the former.

I took it to mean a disco, essentially.

Edit:

There is also an enactment of emotional attachment that is simply not there. I was never able to understand that part, and I generally tended to hope that there was something in it, well, it was incomprehensible to me how certain gestures could be without underlying emotional closeness or trust or whatever else that was. At the same time, the thing was not an openly so defined form of theatre, such as, say, ballet. Nope. For all my love of dancing (actually), I ultimately decided to extricate myself from its venues. I’m not a prude, but few things creep me off like flirting between strangers (of which I’ve done my own part, so no throwing rocks anywhere here).

A “disco”? Oh heaven forbid, I thought those went out with bell bottoms…

 

[chevalier]

A “disco”? Oh heaven forbid, I thought those went out with bell bottoms…

I don’t mind bell bottoms, actually.

 

[EasterJoy]

I don’t mind bell bottoms, actually.

Bell bottoms can come back, but “Saturday Night Fever”…please, no!

It’s not that I’m shocked to know there are night clubs where the live entertainment is how you know that bored single people will be there who maybe can be talked into…whatever. It is not that I’m *shocked *to realize that there are dance establishments where the dancing is obviously, as someone I know puts it “a horizontal expression of a vertical solicitation.” Any time a society is liberal enough to let single people meet each other without chaperones in attendance to head that off at the pass, you’re going to have that.

I just thought disco was a particularly awful phase of popular music. I’m sure there have been worse since, but I’ve been lucky enough that I have been able to stay out of dance-type clubs for a long time. I can go to the ones where people come in groups to listen to music they like, and don’t need a dance floor as a pretext to meet strangers.