M
Mishi73
Guest
It’s almost as if you know the person I’m talking about, Lexee…
- Status
M
Mishi73
Guest
I would put him through the same torment and suffering that I’ve had to live with for the past 22 years
T
ThisOne
Guest
Mishi,
I am so sorry that happened to you, and I don’t want to anger you further, so I’d better not say any more but this: I’m not saying anything but the teaching of Christ.
Those sites I posted have material that might be helpful to you.
You can heal, and your life does not need to be “ruined.” God can restore you if you get the right human help.
You have a right to be angry and to feel your feelings; if you don’t have a safe place in which you can do that, I would urge you see a professional, perhaps someone like Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D., who you can write to on his websites.
It’s good you’re reaching out for help in understand what God calls you to do, but if you come to a Catholic forum seeking the truth about Christ’s teachings, you really oughtn’t insult those who are trying to help you. We’re human, too, and that kind of thing might make someone like me less likely to respond in the future to someone else. But I understand your anger – yet I am only giving you what you asked for.
ThisOne
I am so sorry that happened to you, and I don’t want to anger you further, so I’d better not say any more but this: I’m not saying anything but the teaching of Christ.
Those sites I posted have material that might be helpful to you.
You can heal, and your life does not need to be “ruined.” God can restore you if you get the right human help.
You have a right to be angry and to feel your feelings; if you don’t have a safe place in which you can do that, I would urge you see a professional, perhaps someone like Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D., who you can write to on his websites.
It’s good you’re reaching out for help in understand what God calls you to do, but if you come to a Catholic forum seeking the truth about Christ’s teachings, you really oughtn’t insult those who are trying to help you. We’re human, too, and that kind of thing might make someone like me less likely to respond in the future to someone else. But I understand your anger – yet I am only giving you what you asked for.
ThisOne
L
Lexee15
Guest
Yeah only mine was never even close to being a priest, not that the one you’re talking about should have ever been one…wait a minute maybe they’re related
.
L
Lukelion
Guest
Psalm 37
1 Do not be provoked by evildoers; do not envy those who do wrong.
2
Like grass they wither quickly; like green plants they wilt away.
3
2 Trust in the LORD and do good that you may dwell in the land and live secure.
4
Find your delight in the LORD who will give you your heart’s desire.
5
Commit your way to the LORD; trust that God will act
6
And make your integrity shine like the dawn, your vindication like noonday.
7
Be still before the LORD; wait for God. Do not be provoked by the prosperous, nor by malicious schemers.
8
Give up your anger, abandon your wrath; do not be provoked; it brings only harm.
9
Those who do evil will be cut off, but those who wait for the LORD will possess the land.
10
Wait a little, and the wicked will be no more; look for them and they will not be there.
11
But the poor will possess the land, will delight in great prosperity.
12
The wicked plot against the just and grind their teeth at them;
13
But the LORD laughs at them, knowing their day is coming.
14
The wicked draw their swords; they string their bows To fell the poor and oppressed, to slaughter those whose way is honest.
15
Their swords will pierce their own hearts; their bows will be broken.
16
Better the poverty of the just than the great wealth of the wicked.
17
The arms of the wicked will be broken; the LORD will sustain the just.
18
The LORD watches over the days of the blameless; their heritage lasts forever.
19
They will not be disgraced when times are hard; in days of famine they will have plenty.
20
The wicked perish, the enemies of the LORD; Like the beauty of meadows they vanish; like smoke they disappear.
21
The wicked borrow but do not repay; the just are generous in giving.
22
For those blessed by the Lord will possess the land, but those accursed will be cut off.
23
Those whose steps are guided by the LORD; whose way God approves,
24
May stumble, but they will never fall, for the LORD holds their hand.
25
Neither in my youth, nor now in old age have I ever seen the just abandoned or their children begging bread.
26
The just always lend generously, and their children become a blessing.
27
Turn from evil and do good, that you may inhabit the land forever.
28
For the LORD loves justice and does not abandon the faithful. When the unjust are destroyed, and the children of the wicked cut off,
29
The just will possess the land and live in it forever.
30
The mouths of the just utter wisdom; their tongues speak what is right.
31
God’s teaching is in their hearts; their steps do not falter.
32
The wicked spy on the just and seek to kill them.
33
But the LORD does not leave the just in their power, nor let them be condemned when tried.
34
Wait eagerly for the LORD, and keep to the way; God will raise you to possess the land; you will gloat when the wicked are cut off.
35
I have seen ruthless scoundrels, strong as flourishing cedars.
36
When I passed by again, they were gone; though I searched, they could not be found.
37
Observe the honest, mark the upright; those at peace with God have a future.
38
But all sinners will be destroyed; the future of the wicked will be cut off.
39
The salvation of the just is from the LORD, their refuge in time of distress.
40
The LORD helps and rescues them, rescues and saves them from the wicked, because in God they take refuge.
1 Do not be provoked by evildoers; do not envy those who do wrong.
2
Like grass they wither quickly; like green plants they wilt away.
3
2 Trust in the LORD and do good that you may dwell in the land and live secure.
4
Find your delight in the LORD who will give you your heart’s desire.
5
Commit your way to the LORD; trust that God will act
6
And make your integrity shine like the dawn, your vindication like noonday.
7
Be still before the LORD; wait for God. Do not be provoked by the prosperous, nor by malicious schemers.
8
Give up your anger, abandon your wrath; do not be provoked; it brings only harm.
9
Those who do evil will be cut off, but those who wait for the LORD will possess the land.
10
Wait a little, and the wicked will be no more; look for them and they will not be there.
11
But the poor will possess the land, will delight in great prosperity.
12
The wicked plot against the just and grind their teeth at them;
13
But the LORD laughs at them, knowing their day is coming.
14
The wicked draw their swords; they string their bows To fell the poor and oppressed, to slaughter those whose way is honest.
15
Their swords will pierce their own hearts; their bows will be broken.
16
Better the poverty of the just than the great wealth of the wicked.
17
The arms of the wicked will be broken; the LORD will sustain the just.
18
The LORD watches over the days of the blameless; their heritage lasts forever.
19
They will not be disgraced when times are hard; in days of famine they will have plenty.
20
The wicked perish, the enemies of the LORD; Like the beauty of meadows they vanish; like smoke they disappear.
21
The wicked borrow but do not repay; the just are generous in giving.
22
For those blessed by the Lord will possess the land, but those accursed will be cut off.
23
Those whose steps are guided by the LORD; whose way God approves,
24
May stumble, but they will never fall, for the LORD holds their hand.
25
Neither in my youth, nor now in old age have I ever seen the just abandoned or their children begging bread.
26
The just always lend generously, and their children become a blessing.
27
Turn from evil and do good, that you may inhabit the land forever.
28
For the LORD loves justice and does not abandon the faithful. When the unjust are destroyed, and the children of the wicked cut off,
29
The just will possess the land and live in it forever.
30
The mouths of the just utter wisdom; their tongues speak what is right.
31
God’s teaching is in their hearts; their steps do not falter.
32
The wicked spy on the just and seek to kill them.
33
But the LORD does not leave the just in their power, nor let them be condemned when tried.
34
Wait eagerly for the LORD, and keep to the way; God will raise you to possess the land; you will gloat when the wicked are cut off.
35
I have seen ruthless scoundrels, strong as flourishing cedars.
36
When I passed by again, they were gone; though I searched, they could not be found.
37
Observe the honest, mark the upright; those at peace with God have a future.
38
But all sinners will be destroyed; the future of the wicked will be cut off.
39
The salvation of the just is from the LORD, their refuge in time of distress.
40
The LORD helps and rescues them, rescues and saves them from the wicked, because in God they take refuge.
M
Mishi73
Guest
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lashed out - it’s not your fault. I’m still angry I guess. My most sincere apologies to all offended…
T
ThisOne
Guest
T
ThisOne
Guest
No problem, Mishi, really. Please at least go to those sites – there’s so much there that I have personally found helpful in dealing with my own issues, which are also quite painful.
The thing is, though, that spiritual “solutions” cannot take the place of our dealing with our God-given emotions – emotions that God gave us and understands that we have. I believe God works through all of the healing arts to help us get through the human issues we still have to deal with – those things we MUST attend to before we can even think about forgiving someone. That is the realm of psychology. You cannot expect yourself to forgive him and find peace and understanding about God’s ways if you are not yet on the road to psychological healing. So that’s why I think that’s an aspect of this whole thing that’s very important to deal with FIRST.
The act of talking with a professional (ideally, you could find a Catholic therapist) is part of God’s healing work in you, and when you’ve spent some time in therapy, THEN and only THEN should you, in my opinion, try dealing with the spiritual and religious issues and questions that you have.
I am positive than after a course of therapy (maybe weeks, maybe longer), all of these spiritual and religious issues will appear much differently to you.
You hit the nail on the head – you are angry – and that is good. That’s a sign that you WILL heal quite nicely, actually, believe it or not.
I hope you believe it, Mishi, because it’s true. I am praying for you and for that bad man, too.
ThisOne
M
Mishi73
Guest
Thank you for your kind words. I am in the process of going to see a professional at the advice of a priest (how ironic 
). I’ve finally been able to talk about it in the past week and it’s been one of the most painful things I’ve ever had to do.
I’ve no doubt that I will heal one day, but I guess the scars will always remain.
). I’ve finally been able to talk about it in the past week and it’s been one of the most painful things I’ve ever had to do.I’ve no doubt that I will heal one day, but I guess the scars will always remain.
T
ThisOne
Guest
I’m glad to hear that! And yes, there are a few good priests! 
Your faith will keep you strong, and your scars will heal over and become the jewels of compassion for the suffering of others.
ThisOne
And yes, there are a few good priests! Your faith will keep you strong, and your scars will heal over and become the jewels of compassion for the suffering of others.
ThisOne
L
Lexee15
Guest
That’s beautiful, I never saw my scars as jewels of compassion, I hope that’s what they really are and that I am able to help others.
E
EDUCE_1
Guest
The priest will have to explain himself at the Judgement as we all will.
It is a test. Look at what JOB had to deal with. He did not forsake God. He may have questioned why? Job did not deny or blaspheme the LORD for his condition. Give Honor and Praise to the Lord in all things. When good or bad befalls us give the Lord thanks; He is still GOD.
For it rains on the righteuos as well as the wicked.
There are some things that we are not to know.
M
mapleoak
Guest
It is unwise to pray God’s justice upon others yet be negligent in praying for God’s mercy on others and especially for ones own self. Unless one is radiating into glory, and in a position to wish evil befall others, one is actually wishing evil to befall oneself. It is also presumptious to assume that one will go to heaven to have the ‘privilege’ of sitting next to anyone.
In Christ - J.M.J.
Mapleoak
J
JimR-OCDS
Guest
What you see as " the good things" that happen to your ex, in reality are not what is truly good.I was reading another thread and began wondering how good things (things of this world) happen to some of the worse people?
I’ll give one example that I am very familiar with. The example is that of my soon to be ex husband. Many people on this forum know my story and what I’ve through because of him. Basically he’s an adulterer, liar, etc., but he does very well with his work in other words makes very good money. This has helped in making him into a worse person, it doesn’t matter how bad he performs at work he doesn’t get fired, demoted, transferred…nothing:shrug: . I just don’t understand it, opportunities open up for him all the time, I don’t get it.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish anything bad upon him in fact I feel sorry for him. The work he does…he’s actually leading people astray, he’s an on-air radio personality and very influential with his listening audience. He was cheating on me with his radio groupies, they knew he was married and they didn’t care. He makes nasty jokes, and comments on the air etc., it’s disgusting. Just imagine the spanish speaking Howard Stern…that’s who he is.
Anyway, why is it that he is continually blessed with not having to worry about money, a place to live or being able to put food on the table? When we were living together I would tell him that we needed to thank God for his blessings and he would tell me that he got to where he was because of his work and talent, that God had nothing to do with it. I was heartbroken when he would say stuff like that. Anyway, he has ruined so many lives, especially children’s lives that I don’t understand why he is still where he is.
Does anyone have ideas as to why this happens?
“True freedom, is not the privilege of having the choice between good or evil, but rather, having the ability to chose only good.”
To a person who does not have God, worldly things appear to be what brings happiness and freedom. To the person who has God in their life, these are not the sources of happiness and freedom, but rather an obstacle. The true source of happiness and freedom is union with God.
So, what you see as your husbands happiness and benefit are actually the source of his downfall. Unless he changes course, It could eventually cost him his soul.
Jim
B
baltobetsy
Guest
There is someone who has hurt me very much - not to the extent of a priest raping a little girl, but very painful for me. I’ve spent a lot of time in confession over my anger. What I have learned is that I must pray for this person, because God loves her and desires her salvation. Nothing separates us (even the greatest of sinners) from the love of God. So, if my will is to be conformed to God’s, I must pray for her salvation.
To be very practical, if I hold onto my anger and wish her to burn in hell for all eternity, and she does, I will end up right there beside her. On the other hand, if I pray for her, and she sincerely repents and goes to heaven, she will not be the same person who hurt me. She will be perfected in charity, exactly what God intended her to be from the start, before she did anything wrong. If I also make it to heaven, we can be together in perfect harmony because of the forgiveness and restoration that God gives us. Again, practically speaking, this will be a much better situation than being with her in hell, where we both will be holding on to our hatred for each other.
So when I am reminded of her, I pray for her, without allowing myself to wallow in the bad feelings that memory conjures up. I just commend her to God’s mercy and move on mentally. God knows this is the best I can do right now. Perhaps someday I will have a genuine affection for her.
Betsy
W
water
Guest
Hello Lexee,
I am sorry about your situation. May God bless you and protect you on your journey.
From what I read above, what he’s got, in my opinion, is not “good things”. I am not saying that we don’t need food, money to survive, but I am saying that “things” can be called “good” if it helps you come closer to God.
A person can have everything on this earth but he can not take those with him when he dies.
I see in you that you have more good things- the grace to be giving thanksgiving to God, to acknowledge Him, and to love Him. I call these “Good things”, and you might want to focus on these things instead of other things that your will-be-ex has and pray for him.
God bless.
M
mariam1976
Guest
i believe too that you can have all the worldly things but still be so unhappy and not be at peace as you do not have joy in your heart!!!
and that joy as we all know comes from the Lord!!
and that joy as we all know comes from the Lord!!
L
Lexee15
Guest
Very true, joy and peace, nothing feels as good as peace and joy in your heart. He can have all the money in the world, but he is miserable. He can and does have any woman (pretty much) that he wants, he’s got money and some fame, but the guy is miserable. Before we were separated I could see how uncomfortable he was in his own skin, he was always needing and seeking validation, attention…someone once referred to him as an attention wh_re. He cried every time he got drunk and lamented his sorry life.
I guess money doesn’t buy happiness, I think money can be good when it’s in the right hands, by a person who knows that it’s a blessing from God and does good things with it.
C
contramundum7
Guest
I know what its like to be abused - and to blame myself for the abuse (subconsciiusly…). That self-blaming thing may be a lifelong consequence that all abused ones have to deal with. It’s a cross… and Jesus tells us to take up our cross and carry it… as he did…
Whenever i am treated unfairly, i try to recall the Passion of Christ and how he suffered so much… I see the parallels between his sufferings and mine (rejection, hatred, being misunderstood… etc.). It gives me peace, even joy to realize that Jesus knows firsthand how i feel…
Also: There is a scripture about how the evil ones “have their portion in this life.”
One time, years ago, i prayed for an enemy of mine, someone who who had hurt me in a big way… I didn’t WANT 2 pray for him, but knew Jesus wanted me to. This weird thing happened that had never happened to me b4 (or since…), something that had never happened 2 me while praying 4 those i needed 2 forgive. As i prayed, I heard these words: “Don’t pray for —.”
I figured that such a thing was from the devil & ignored it, started praying again. The same thing happened - i heard those words again. I ignored them again but this time, i had a strong feeling i should listen to the words (long story why). I then decided to stop praying… (on the chance it really was God telling me that…).
Somewhere in one of the books of the prophets, there is a story about how God told (Jeremiah?? or some prophet) not to pray for a certain king…
I wish i could find it. I don’t have my concordance with me…
Anyway, its not out of the question that God would ask a person not to pray for someone… tho its probaby a rare thing, but one thing i know is that he wants us to forgive our enemies…
When i asked God why i should not pray for — i heard those words in my head… about how evildoers have "their portion in this life… unless they repent. I got the feeling it was highly unlikely this person Would repent… but anyway…(The Bible says that God’s spirit will not always strrive with man…), the implication was that they have their “heaven” HERE on Earth, the only one they will ever have… I believe God gives them what they want in this life because they have to pay for it with all eternity, being eternally separated from God (Perfect Love).
that is one reason, (if we can’t think of any others), why we should forgive. We should PITY them for what lies ahead if they do not repent… and some are virtually beyond the ability to even desire repentance… (in another forum there was talk of those who have no conscience, sociopaths…
).
I once read this thing a saint wrote… She said that people in the next world will KNOW how their victims felt while being victimized… (i believe she said that this happens whether the person is in Purgatory or in Hell). Those who have sinned, whether forgiven by Christ or not, will FEEL all that their victims felt…
This is truly reason to pity those who have hurt us… and more importantly, a reason to freely forgive them. Matthew 18:23 says that unless we forgive one another “from our hearts”, we will not be forgiven…
I do understand not wanting to forgive. But knowing this info helps me to forgive anyway…
I pray this helps others… God bless…
PS: Also… I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m not going to Hell for anyone… :dts: :knight2:
Whenever i am treated unfairly, i try to recall the Passion of Christ and how he suffered so much… I see the parallels between his sufferings and mine (rejection, hatred, being misunderstood… etc.). It gives me peace, even joy to realize that Jesus knows firsthand how i feel…
Also: There is a scripture about how the evil ones “have their portion in this life.”
One time, years ago, i prayed for an enemy of mine, someone who who had hurt me in a big way… I didn’t WANT 2 pray for him, but knew Jesus wanted me to. This weird thing happened that had never happened to me b4 (or since…), something that had never happened 2 me while praying 4 those i needed 2 forgive. As i prayed, I heard these words: “Don’t pray for —.”
I figured that such a thing was from the devil & ignored it, started praying again. The same thing happened - i heard those words again. I ignored them again but this time, i had a strong feeling i should listen to the words (long story why). I then decided to stop praying… (on the chance it really was God telling me that…).
Somewhere in one of the books of the prophets, there is a story about how God told (Jeremiah?? or some prophet) not to pray for a certain king…
I wish i could find it. I don’t have my concordance with me…
Anyway, its not out of the question that God would ask a person not to pray for someone… tho its probaby a rare thing, but one thing i know is that he wants us to forgive our enemies…
When i asked God why i should not pray for — i heard those words in my head… about how evildoers have "their portion in this life… unless they repent. I got the feeling it was highly unlikely this person Would repent… but anyway…(The Bible says that God’s spirit will not always strrive with man…), the implication was that they have their “heaven” HERE on Earth, the only one they will ever have… I believe God gives them what they want in this life because they have to pay for it with all eternity, being eternally separated from God (Perfect Love).
that is one reason, (if we can’t think of any others), why we should forgive. We should PITY them for what lies ahead if they do not repent… and some are virtually beyond the ability to even desire repentance… (in another forum there was talk of those who have no conscience, sociopaths…
).I once read this thing a saint wrote… She said that people in the next world will KNOW how their victims felt while being victimized… (i believe she said that this happens whether the person is in Purgatory or in Hell). Those who have sinned, whether forgiven by Christ or not, will FEEL all that their victims felt…
This is truly reason to pity those who have hurt us… and more importantly, a reason to freely forgive them. Matthew 18:23 says that unless we forgive one another “from our hearts”, we will not be forgiven…
I do understand not wanting to forgive. But knowing this info helps me to forgive anyway…
I pray this helps others… God bless…
PS: Also… I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m not going to Hell for anyone… :dts: :knight2:
E
Evan
Guest
If he dies with no repentance, he will be condemned.
But if he dies having repented out of fear, he can receive forgivenness, if he dies having repented out of love of God, he can receive foregiveness. In either case, he still has the temporal punishment for the sin. He is forgiven but no punishment is remitted.
There is a story by CS Lewis called ‘The Great Divorce’ wherein a woman gets in the bus in Hell that takes new arrivals to purgatory. When you get off the bus there are various people waiting to encourage you to struggle to Heaven rather than get back on the bus and return to Hell.
This woman is greeted by the person who killed her son. He tells her of the wonders of heaven, the beauty, the love, the comraderie of all who live there. She says so long as he is there, she will not go. He encourages her because her son is in heaven and they have reconciled. He has been forgiven.
She says she cannot forgive him and gets back in the Hellbound bus.
Do not let your hatred of this man be a stumbling block to your love of God and all his creatures (including this man). “Forgive us our trespasses AS WE FORGIVE OTHERS.” If you cannot forgive, you cannot be forgiven. Forgive the sinner, not the sin. Protect yourself and society from further sin, but love the sinner. If you send someone to prison to protect others; if you send someone to prison to separate him from the opurtunity to sin, you have acted in love.
- Status