How do I change my thoughts on prayer?

[Bataar]

This story reminds me somewhat of Israel praying to God for a King.

Had you considered praying for what God wants, rather than what you want?

The goal of praying is to get a closer relationship with God, and to seek his will for our lives, not to prevent us from “feeling worse off than before”.

Jesus probably felt pretty “worse off” when He was crucified. Do you think that means He did not do the will of the Father?

Perhaps God is trying to show you how powerful prayer can be. Our focus should be on how we can be conformed to His will, not to seek our own.

What about praying that God’s will be done? Who are you to assume you can know what that is?

I had some spiritual formation during which I was educated that prayer is about relationship with God, not getting what I want.

It is about conforming myself to His will, rather than getting Him to support mine.

I would like to do God’s will. However, in order for me to do that, I have to have some idea of what it is, even if it’s only vague. I can honestly say that I absolutely do not feel like I’m currently doing his will and no matter how much I’ve prayed about it, I am no closer to having any idea what I should be doing.

Due to my autism, relationships are hard, but I still feel they need to be a two way street. You give and you get. My relationship with God feels like a relationship I had with a former friend. I call and God doesn’t answer so I leave a message. God doesn’t call back. Later on, I call God again. He doesn’t answer so I leave a message. Again, he doesn’t call back. This process goes on and on until I eventually stop calling. Again, I’m not expecting flat out miracles or anything like that. Just signs, hints of acknowledgement, etc. How do you maintain a relationship with someone that, for all intents and purposes, refuses to even acknowledge you exist?

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I would like to do God’s will. However, in order for me to do that, I have to have some idea of what it is, even if it’s only vague.

God’s will is what Jesus taught us, "to love the Lord God with our entire being, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. "

This is God’s will for us. Follow these two things and you’ll be following God’s will.

Jim

 

[Bataar]

God’s will is what Jesus taught us, "to love the Lord God with our entire being, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. "

This is God’s will for us. Follow these two things and you’ll be following God’s will.

Jim

Obviously I’m not doing this perfectly, but I do try. Admittedly, it’s getting harder and harder to feel love toward God, but I still try. It should be self explanatory after reading the thread, but I’m looking for God’s will on what I should do with my life beyond that. Job wise, career wise, socially, etc.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Obviously I’m not doing this perfectly, but I do try. Admittedly, it’s getting harder and harder to feel love toward God, but I still try. It should be self explanatory after reading the thread, but I’m looking for God’s will on what I should do with my life beyond that. Job wise, career wise, socially, etc.

You can’t do it perfectly or even near perfect on your own.

It requires the transforming grace given by Jesus Christ Himself.

Your job is to be open to Him and allow His grace to flow through you.

Learn contemplative prayer, which is the best source for learning how to open ourselves to God’s love.

Remember, God dwells within, and all you have to do is turn to Him and just be in His presence for His grace to flow.

Jim

 

[Bataar]

You can’t do it perfectly or even near perfect on your own.

It requires the transforming grace given by Jesus Christ Himself.

Your job is to be open to Him and allow His grace to flow through you.

Learn contemplative prayer, which is the best source for learning how to open ourselves to God’s love.

Remember, God dwells within, and all you have to do is turn to Him and just be in His presence for His grace to flow.

Jim

I’ll simplify it with an example. I have a job I currently don’t like and have no personal satisfaction in. Say another opportunity comes along but has some downside. I pray and pray to know God’s will on which decision I should make. Keep the current job or take the new opportunity. How does one determine God’s will here?

This kind of decision has happened multiple times for me and after praying and going along with what I think God is leading me, I end up worse off. Generally, I don’t feel any kind of guidance on what to pick so I’m never feel like God is guiding or helping me with the decision. I put my trust in God that he will help me make the right decision.

I don’t really feel that my life has progressed much since high school. Sure, the argument could be made that it’s due to bad decisions on my part, but I’ve pretty much prayed on every major decision. So either I’m missing the boat and not seeing God’s will or I’m currently following it somehow, which doesn’t make sense as it’s pretty much driving me away.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Bataar

I’ll simplify it with an example. I have a job I currently don’t like and have no personal satisfaction in. Say another opportunity comes along but has some downside. I pray and pray to know God’s will on which decision I should make. Keep the current job or take the new opportunity. How does one determine God’s will here?

It doesn’t. God merely gives you the free will to choose which place you desire to work at.

What makes you unhappy at a job, doesn’t mean God wills that you be unhappy. The choice is yours. However, the priority of your life should be growing closer to God and the particular job is merely a means of making a living. Its not you, not the purpose of being here.

This kind of decision has happened multiple times for me and after praying and going along with what I think God is leading me, I end up worse off. Generally, I don’t feel any kind of guidance on what to pick so I’m never feel like God is guiding or helping me with the decision. I put my trust in God that he will help me make the right decision.

Because the priority isn’t growing closer to God, but finding your own satisfaction in temporal things.

Praying to do God’s will means His will, not ours.

So, going back to what Jesus taught, “Love God with your entire being and your neighbor as yourself.” Live by these two principles and the rest will come.

Jim

 

[Bataar]

Bataar

It doesn’t. God merely gives you the free will to choose which place you desire to work at.

What makes you unhappy at a job, doesn’t mean God wills that you be unhappy. The choice is yours. However, the priority of your life should be growing closer to God and the particular job is merely a means of making a living. Its not you, not the purpose of being here.

Because the priority isn’t growing closer to God, but finding your own satisfaction in temporal things.

Praying to do God’s will means His will, not ours.

So, going back to what Jesus taught, “Love God with your entire being and your neighbor as yourself.” Live by these two principles and the rest will come.

Jim

I guess I just lack the ability to love someone that doesn’t even acknowledge I exist. I’d pray for that, but it seems praying for intentions isn’t the thing to do.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I guess I just lack the ability to love someone that doesn’t even acknowledge I exist. I’d pray for that, but it seems praying for intentions isn’t the thing to do.

Doesn’t acknowledge you exist ?

The fact that you exist is His acknowledgement.

Jim

 

[Bataar]

Doesn’t acknowledge you exist ?

The fact that you exist is His acknowledgement.

Jim

I find it hard to believe you don’t know what I mean. How do you have a relationship with someone that never responds to you at all? How is there any meaning there? Anyone can say God loves you, but if he doesn’t show it in a way that you can perceive, what difference does it make? This thread is ultimately about praying. When the end results of your prayers are the same as if you have been talking to a wall, what’s the point? Praying is more than just saying, “God is great, I love God” in as flowery language you can come up with. It’s supposed to be a conversation with God. It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who is seemingly ignoring you.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

I find it hard to believe you don’t know what I mean. How do you have a relationship with someone that never responds to you at all? How is there any meaning there? Anyone can say God loves you, but if he doesn’t show it in a way that you can perceive, what difference does it make? This thread is ultimately about praying. When the end results of your prayers are the same as if you have been talking to a wall, what’s the point? Praying is more than just saying, “God is great, I love God” in as flowery language you can come up with. It’s supposed to be a conversation with God. It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who is seemingly ignoring you.

Whenever we experience love, God is there because God is love.

Whenever we experience the beauty of the world around us, God is there, because He created it.

Faith comes from God’s revelation, however that may happen.

It may come from hearing a song, a person or reading something that suddenly, God is revealed and He is there.

All we can do is be open to God, however He wills to reveal Himself.

No one can give you faith, only God can do that. Your job is merely to be open to God by loving.

Whatever God reveals to you, it is an act of love.

Jim

 

[guanophore]

I would like to do God’s will. However, in order for me to do that, I have to have some idea of what it is, even if it’s only vague.

Catholics have a huge advantage in this because we have the Scriptues and the Church, the pillar and ground of the Truth.

But I am not sure I agree entirely with your premise. We can predispose ourselves to to God’s will, even when we have NO IDEA what it is. Our role model is Mary, who was puzzled when the angel came to her, but responded “be it done to me according to your will”.

I can honestly say that I absolutely do not feel like I’m currently doing his will and no matter how much I’ve prayed about it, I am no closer to having any idea what I should be doing.

Well, fortunately our feelings are not that relevant, and it is not for us to figure out what His will is for us, but His. His job is to guide, ours is to obey. We follow each day what has already been revealed to us, and the more we walk in faith, the more clarity we have. This is why Catholics have such a huge advantage. The Church is the custodian of God’s revelation of Himself to mankind. We can rely with confidence on what she teaches us.

Due to my autism, relationships are hard, but I still feel they need to be a two way street.  You give and you get.  My relationship with God feels like a relationship I had with a former friend.  I call and God doesn't answer so I leave a message.  God doesn't call back. Later on, I call God again.  He doesn't answer so I leave a message.  Again, he doesn't call back.  This process goes on and on until I eventually stop calling. Again, I'm not expecting flat out miracles or anything like that.  Just signs, hints of acknowledgement, etc.  How do you maintain a relationship with someone that, for all intents and purposes, refuses to even acknowledge you exist?

I see your point, of course. This goes both ways. If God calls and leaves you long voice messages and you do not listen to them, is He likely to continue leaving them? When you talk to someone, and they pay no attention to what you have already told them (repeatedly) are you inclinded to tell them more?

God has revealed in Scripture and through the Church sufficient for us to be guided into heaven. This is the treasury in which to begin. Lectio Divina is a good method.

Obviously I'm not doing this perfectly, but I do try.

We can only do this perfectly by grace, not of ourselves.

Admittedly, it’s getting harder and harder to feel love toward God, but I still try. It should be self explanatory after reading the thread, but I’m looking for God’s will on what I should do with my life beyond that. Job wise, career wise, socially, etc.

Feelings are extraneous. The most important thing is to develop a relationship with God, then everything else will fall into place. Putting your worldly pursuits above your relationship with Him is bound to backfire.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all
these things will be given to you as well. …Matt. 6:33

 

[guanophore]

 I'll simplify it with an example.  I have a job I currently don't like and have no personal satisfaction in.  Say another opportunity comes along but has some downside. I pray and pray to know God's will on which decision I should make.  Keep the current job or take the new opportunity. How does one determine God's will here?

It becomes easier when you have your ear pressed close to His lips.

God is not nearly so concerned with your “personal satisfaction” as He is with your eternal soul.

 This kind of decision has happened multiple times for me and after praying and going along with what I think God is leading me, I end up worse off. Generally, I don't feel any kind of guidance on what to pick so I'm never feel like God is guiding or helping me with the decision.  I put my trust in God that he will help me make the right decision.

This is not uncommon when it comes to discernment. Without having our senses well trained to hear HIm, we end up following our own way, and believing it is His.

 I don't really feel that my life has progressed much since high school. Sure, the argument could be made that it's due to bad decisions on my part, but I've pretty much prayed on every major decision.  So either I'm missing the boat and not seeing God's will or I'm currently following it somehow, which doesn't make sense as it's pretty much driving me away.

“It” is driving you away from what, or who? Are you saying that you will only be convinced you are doing God’s will when you “feel” confident and happy with the results?

 

[guanophore]

I guess I just lack the ability to love someone that doesn’t even acknowledge I exist. I’d pray for that, but it seems praying for intentions isn’t the thing to do.

This attitude is probably a key to your dissatisfaction. It is a gross cognitive distortion, or from another perspective a lie.

Human beings were made to live and walk in the Truth. When we choose to believe lies, it makes our existence miserable. You have refused to accept what God has already revealed to you, and are stubbornly stamping your foot demanding more/different.

Things will change if, and when you can accept what God has already given you.

By refusing to acknowledge what He has already revealed, you have set yourself up to fall into despair and the devil’s trap. The devil wants to convince you that the Bible (Believer’s Instructions Before Leaving Earth) is not releveant, and that the Church does not really infallibly protect the direction of the Holy Spirit for our lives. The devil can thus make your life miserable and unproductive. He wants to steal your birthright, which is righteousness, joy, and peace in the Holy Spirit. You are selling it for a bowl of lentils.

I find it hard to believe you don't know what I mean. How do you have a relationship with someone that never responds to you at all? How is there any meaning there?

YOu are right. God has been shouting to you and you are deaf.

Anyone can say God loves you, but if he doesn’t show it in a way that you can perceive, what difference does it make?

I agree. Your rejection of His gifts would not make him want to give you more. There is a saying about not throwing pearls before swine? He has given you pearls,a nd you have cast them out the door into the mud.

This thread is ultimately about praying. When the end results of your prayers are the same as if you have been talking to a wall, what’s the point? Praying is more than just saying, “God is great, I love God” in as flowery language you can come up with. It’s supposed to be a conversation with God. It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who is seemingly ignoring you.

Yes, God’s heart must be quite grieved about your hardness of heart. :crying:

You are on my prayer list, Bataar. I hope you will not continue to resist Him, because your life will only continue to get more and more miserable until you turn.

 

[Bataar]

Human beings were made to live and walk in the Truth. When we choose to believe lies, it makes our existence miserable. You have refused to accept what God has already revealed to you, and are stubbornly stamping your foot demanding more/different.

I’m not sure I understand where you’re coming. I’m not choosing to believe lies. I’m not even sure what lies you’re referring to or how you came to that conclusion. I have not knowingly refused anything. If I don’t understand or recognize something that has been revealed, I can’t do anything with it until I understand it. If I don’t understand it, I can’t put it into practice. My frustration is that prayers to help me understand it go unanswered.

By refusing to acknowledge what He has already revealed, you have set yourself up to fall into despair and the devil’s trap. The devil wants to convince you that the Bible (Believer’s Instructions Before Leaving Earth) is not releveant, and that the Church does not really infallibly protect the direction of the Holy Spirit for our lives. The devil can thus make your life miserable and unproductive. He wants to steal your birthright, which is righteousness, joy, and peace in the Holy Spirit. You are selling it for a bowl of lentils.

Again, I’m not entirely sure what you’re saying is relevant to this discussion. I’m in no way trying to state that the Bible is not relevant. However, it does not offer a guide on how to live my life when it comes to jobs, relationships, family, etc. In my prayer, I’m asking God to help me in my life.

YOu are right. God has been shouting to you and you are deaf.

I hate to sound petty here, but if I’m deaf, that’s the way God created me. I don’t want to be deaf, I want to hear and understand God’s guidance for me, but I don’t hear it. If I can’t hear it, it seems the message needs to be transmitted in a different manner.

I agree. Your rejection of His gifts would not make him want to give you more. There is a saying about not throwing pearls before swine? He has given you pearls,a nd you have cast them out the door into the mud.

What gifts am I rejecting? This is similar to the last paragraph where if you’re not aware the gift is there, you can’t reject it. I’m not trying to reject anything. Due to my autistic mind, I’m not sure I understand what point you’re trying to make using such figurative language. Do you have any realistic, useful advice? I honestly have no idea what realistic actions you’re advising me to take.

Yes, God’s heart must be quite grieved about your hardness of heart. :crying:

You are on my prayer list, Bataar. I hope you will not continue to resist Him, because your life will only continue to get more and more miserable until you turn.

I’m not trying to resist him at all. I can only speak to my perceptions be they real or not, but it seems like I’m looking for God and God is the best player of Hide and Seek there is. You say I will be more miserable until I turn. What do you mean by that? How does one “turn”? What should I do differently than what I’m doing now?

 

[EveningSkye111]

God answers all prayer.

But sometimes the answer is “no.”

 

[Bataar]

God answers all prayer.

But sometimes the answer is “no.”

Right and no makes a lot of sense. However, when the results are often worse than even no, things get exceptionally hard. Having a contract job and praying to go full time, no makes sense. Having a contract job and praying to go full time and to not only be denied the full time option but to lose the contract job as well, it makes you question. And again, this isn’t just a one off event, but this is repeatedly the kind of results.

What doesn’t make sense though, at least to me, is when you pray with the intent to get to know God better or to help increase my faith. It’s hard to believe God would say no to those.

 

[Bataar]

Well, the trend continues. Just found out today that the project I’m working on has been canceled and I’m going to be out of a job again. Grrrr