How do I confront my anti-Catholic sister about going behind my back, speaking against Catholicism with my teenage daughter

  • Thread starter Thread starter Christina79
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

Christina79

Guest
I haven’t gotten the full story from my daughter yet, but apparently my anti-Catholic, Baptist sister asked my daughter not to tell me… She was asking my daughter the “if you died tonight…” question and talking about how I have ruined our family by becoming Catholic and am leading them down the wrong path. My daughter said she was almost in tears when my sister was talking to her. How should I handle this? It’s really bothering me. And, I know my sister would be seriously offended if I were to talk to her daughter, who is 2 years older than mine, about Catholicism; and especially if I were to do it behind her back. I have talked to her daughter a little, but mostly only when she asks me questions about it.

My daughter has already been going through a REALLY rough time with all the changes going on in her/our lives right now, but has been getting SO much better in the past couple of months. She’s just starting to get really involved in the Life Teen group at our parish and her emotional health is improving tremendously. She doesn’t need this right now.
 
I would tell her, if it were my sister, in no uncertain terms that your family does not keep secrets and family members are NOT to have conversations with your children that undermine your parental authority, attempt to keep secrets from you, or that undermine you and your husband in the raising of your children. And especially not conversations that are meant to purposely plant seeds of doubt, division, and uncertainty in her mind.

If she **ever **does it again, there will be no more contact. Period. She has crossed a line and she is the one in the wrong.

Until she can respect your boundaries and your faith, she is not welcome to interact with you or your family. When she is ready to apologize for her behavior, she can give you a call.
 
If I were in your situation I would tell her that regardless of what she feels about your religion, that is a low down thing to do and I would tell her that if she would not appreciate you telling her daughter a bunch of put downs about her and her moms religion, you would appreciate the same respect. And if she ever even wanted to see my daughter again, she had better stop it.

She is completely in the wrong about this but if she will not admit she is wrong and say she is sorry, I would at least want to hear that it will not happen again. If she thinks she did not do anything wrong then something is wrong with her frankly. God bless
 
I would basically read her 1ke’s post word for word. Nailed it.
 
white_sheep said:
I would basically read her 1ke’s post word for word. Nailed it.
Click to expand...
:yup: 👍 :yup:

Then I would increase prayers for your sister … ALSO - tell her if she wants to discuss the history of the Christian Church and various theological aspects to do so with you - in charity and with an open mind …let her know that you harbor no animosity to the Baptist faith and how that initial Christian community planted the seed of your faith - how you grew to love Christ and how you have moved into a deeper relationship with Him …

Also Bishop Fulton Sheen wrote a wonderful book on Jesus called the *Life of Christ *- perhaps you could read it with her … a sister’s book club as it were … and maybe include your daughters too ;)- maybe read a book on Christ by a non - Catholic too [that’s fair 👍] … it will bring you together - foster your faith and devotion to our Lord … Me - I am positive that if she reads Bishop Sheen’s book - she will be surprised - pleasantly … and if you have not read it - it is wonderful … and inspirational

amazon.com/dp/0385132204/ref=rdr_ext_tmb

Meet her where she is - and join with her … not to convert but to come to know Jesus … the Sheen book - read together - would be the best … but you could also give her a copy of *Pillar of Fire Pillar of Truth *… **And give a copy to your daughter to assist her in dealing with family members like your **sister -
 
1ke said:
I would tell her, if it were my sister, in no uncertain terms that your family does not keep secrets and family members are NOT to have conversations with your children that undermine your parental authority, attempt to keep secrets from you, or that undermine you and your husband in the raising of your children. And especially not conversations that are meant to purposely plant seeds of doubt, division, and uncertainty in her mind.

If she **ever **does it again, there will be no more contact. Period. She has crossed a line and she is the one in the wrong.

Until she can respect your boundaries and your faith, she is not welcome to interact with you or your family. When she is ready to apologize for her behavior, she can give you a call.
Click to expand...
This!👍
 
WOW!!!

I would start with talking to your daughter and giving her all the facts about being Catholic that you can and that are age appropriate. Also let her know that in no uncertain terms is she to keep secrets from you.
Use this as a learning tool for your child about the faith.

AS far as your sister, I am praying for you. I would suggest confronting her with Catholic Apologetics, try to find out what she told your daughter and then defend your faith with the truth. May be a good evangalization tool for you and your family. Try to hold your temper/anger/tongue. Do it with charity of heart. Praying for you.
 
Besides those answers above, I would make sure your daughter is WELL VERSED in Catholic apologetics so she can defend herself and her faith. Your daughter should never be “in tears” about her salvation.
 
I had a very similar situation with my sister in law. My husband talked to her but she just kept at it. So we had to make sure that she was never left alone with my children. As my kids got older and my oldest became pretty good at defending his faith, we let him go for it. She was not particularly knowledgeable about any other religion, just anti-Catholic. Which meant she lost every “debate” and stopped bringing up topics of religion with our kids.
 
The OP needs to keep in mind that his/her sister means well and is acting from a place of confusion and “ignorance”. She has clearly bought into the Protestant propaganda against the Church. That’s why she did this. Maybe this bad betrayal can be turned into an opportunity to teach your sister about the Church. Make a wrong into a right. And considering what she has done she should be obliged to hear you out.
 
Yikes.

I think this comment gets to the heart of the matter:
Christina79 said:
And, I know my sister would be seriously offended if I were to talk to her daughter, who is 2 years older than mine, about Catholicism; and especially if I were to do it behind her back.
Click to expand...
It’s sad how many people don’t consider how they would feel if the “shoe were on the other foot”.
 
Christina79 said:
And, I know my sister would be seriously offended if I were to talk to her daughter, who is 2 years older than mine, about Catholicism; and especially if I were to do it behind her back. .
Click to expand...
Tell her that if she talks with your daughter again about Catholicism in a negative context, you’ll give her daughter an all expenses paid, free trip to papist camp. Where they will learn about the glory of the Vatican and how to infiltrate Protestant denominations. Then maybe ask her nicely to tone her preaching down a bit, and “to do unto others daughters as you would have them do unto yours.” If she asks if that’s Scripture tell her yes, but only in Catholic Bibles.
 
Not that I am one to imitate…

Me its simple and direct. You do not mess around with my kids. I’d confront it head on and not beat around the bush. What you did is out of the bounds of acceptable conduct. It will not be tolerated. You can disagree with me, we can discuss it all you want, but you will not go directly to my child behind my back. The fact you are pressing her to secrecy will result in my being severely suspicious. Do it again and you are cutout at least until the kids are raised.

Now if push comes to shove and it all hits the fan, well then you’ll find out which of the rest of the family thinks that sort of behavior is ok by the sister and which do not.

I’m a convert too, our family is the lone catholic family in an extended family of Seventh Day Adventists, Baptists and a few Jehova Witnesses. So far all have been polite even if they all believe that we’re gonna all go to hell for converting to the Catholic faith…🤷
 
1ke said:
I would tell her, if it were my sister, in no uncertain terms that your family does not keep secrets and family members are NOT to have conversations with your children that undermine your parental authority, attempt to keep secrets from you, or that undermine you and your husband in the raising of your children. And especially not conversations that are meant to purposely plant seeds of doubt, division, and uncertainty in her mind.

If she **ever **does it again, there will be no more contact. Period. She has crossed a line and she is the one in the wrong.

Until she can respect your boundaries and your faith, she is not welcome to interact with you or your family. When she is ready to apologize for her behavior, she can give you a call.
Click to expand...
Well stated.
 
Any adult that ever told my child to keep a secret from me would never be allowed in their presence again without me.

That is just a non-negotiable.

And I can’t even type out how I would confront a family member who did something like that. I would get banned. :mad:
 
Christina79 said:
And, I know my sister would be seriously offended if I were to talk to her daughter, who is 2 years older than mine, about Catholicism; and especially if I were to do it behind her back. I have talked to her daughter a little, but mostly only when she asks me questions about it.
Click to expand...
It sounds like you’ve both spoken to each other’s daughters. While the secrecy would really bother me, it sounds like you’ve both crossed a line.

I would call her and tell her that neither of you should be talking with the other’s child about religion. Agree to keep it off-limits for both of you.
 
But if the OP goes at his sister in a rage he risks pushing her further away from the truth of the One True Church. Is is worth pushing her further from the truth and confirming, in her mind, her misinformed suspicions about the Catholic Church just to satisfy some need for retribution? What she did was wrong and she must be told in in no uncertain terms that it is never to happen again,but fighting or yelling with the sister won’t solve anything. She will further retreat into her beliefs that Catholics and the Church are wrong and heathens and that her sibling is endangering her niece and causing trouble. The root of the problem needs to be dealt with which is her misinformed opinions of the Church. If that isn’t dealt with she is never going to give up trying to “save” her nieces soul. Level headed dialogue (admittedly difficult when these things are the topic of discussion) must be attempted first. With a stern warning to never go behind the OP’s back again, of course.
 
You could always (with a smile on your face…) mention your new friends who specialize in custom-fitted cement overshoes…😃
 
Easy. Go up to her and say “Don’t interfere with the way I raise MY daughter.”
 
1ke said:
I would tell her, if it were my sister, in no uncertain terms that your family does not keep secrets and family members are NOT to have conversations with your children that undermine your parental authority, attempt to keep secrets from you, or that undermine you and your husband in the raising of your children. And especially not conversations that are meant to purposely plant seeds of doubt, division, and uncertainty in her mind.

If she **ever **does it again, there will be no more contact. Period. She has crossed a line and she is the one in the wrong.

Until she can respect your boundaries and your faith, she is not welcome to interact with you or your family. When she is ready to apologize for her behavior, she can give you a call.
Click to expand...
Yes. You are correct. But emotions would lead me to the nuclear option right off the bat. If any single one of my siblings or parents did this, that would the be the end of contact forever for me. I am dead serious. But your advice of one more chance and some strong words is definitely better advice. It just isn’t what I know I would do…
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top