How do I control my tongue?

[Nelka]

There are many times where I feel that I shouldn’t have said something, usually moaning about my boss or a colleague. Other times I can be uncharitable but to contrast when I am at home I don’t usually have the same problem.

I just wish I could stay silent but I don’t and usually make things worse.

Has anyone overcome this?

Thanks.

 

[crystal_waters]

There are many times where I feel that I shouldn’t have said something, usually moaning about my boss or a colleague. Other times I can be uncharitable but to contrast when I am at home I don’t usually have the same problem.

I just wish I could stay silent but I don’t and usually make things worse.

Has anyone overcome this?

Thanks.

How about each time you feel tempted to say something you may regret you instead use it as an opportunity to pray…even if its literally a few words,…if you get into the habit of doing that then your natural reaction to someone annoying/frustrating you will be to pray for them rather than blurt something out …plus the added benefit is you will cram extra prayers into your day which will draw you closer to God and bring down graces and blessing upon you and those who you are praying for…its win-win

 

[BChartowski]

How about each time you feel tempted to say something you may regret you instead use it as an opportunity to pray…even if its literally a few words,…if you get into the habit of doing that then your natural reaction to someone annoying/frustrating you will be to pray for them rather than blurt something out …plus the added benefit is you will cram extra prayers into your day which will draw you closer to God and bring down graces and blessing upon you and those who you are praying for…its win-win

This is excellent advice. A very short prayer that was taught to me many years ago is something I use when I feel saying or doing something may be hurtful to others. There prayer is literally 3 words: “My Jesus, mercy.”

Ask Jesus for mercy all around, for you, for those who may hear you, and for the subject of your thoughts at the time.

 

[littlestsouls2]

This is excellent advice. A very short prayer that was taught to me many years ago is something I use when I feel saying or doing something may be hurtful to others. There prayer is literally 3 words: “My Jesus, mercy.”

Ask Jesus for mercy all around, for you, for those who may hear you, and for the subject of your thoughts at the time.

Agreed!

I was going to recommend the same little prayer (My Jesus, mercy!). Plus, we can offer the indulgence for the souls in Purgatory, as well as offering them the “indulgence” we receive for our act of charity.

"One day when St. Elizabeth, Queen of Hungary, was praying for a person who had injured her, she heard Our Lord say: “You have never uttered a prayer that was more agreeable to Me than this. In consequence, I forgive you all your sins.”

• St. Alphonsus

 

[ClearWater]

There are many times where I feel that I shouldn’t have said something, usually moaning about my boss or a colleague. Other times I can be uncharitable but to contrast when I am at home I don’t usually have the same problem.

I just wish I could stay silent but I don’t and usually make things worse.

Has anyone overcome this?

Thanks.

When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.

Thomas Jefferson

Read more at brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/thomasjeff132201.html#GWGI05VziTKj4zjs.99

 

[DeniseNY]

This is a HUGE struggle for me. I have an unfortunate tendency to mouth off, and quite honestly, I can be really mean at times.

On my Mother Angelica rosary cassette, in the Sorrowful Mysteries, she prefaces the second mystery with “let us be careful not to scourge others by our tongue”. I have noticed that I better able to control my mouth because I have this in mind.

 

[DeniseNY]

This is a HUGE struggle for me. I have an unfortunate tendency to mouth off, and quite honestly, I can be really mean at times.

On my Mother Angelica rosary cassette, in the Sorrowful Mysteries, she prefaces the second mystery with “let us be careful not to scourge others by our tongue”. I have noticed that I better able to control my mouth because I have this in mind.

 

[Catholic1954]

Every time, before you speak, taste it. If it is sweet, say it. If it is bitter, SWALLOW IT.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Agreed!

I was going to recommend the same little prayer (My Jesus, mercy!). Plus, we can offer the indulgence for the souls in Purgatory, as well as offering them the “indulgence” we receive for our act of charity.

"One day when St. Elizabeth, Queen of Hungary, was praying for a person who had injured her, she heard Our Lord say: "You have never uttered a prayer that was more agreeable to Me than this. In consequence, I forgive you all your sins."

• St. Alphonsus

Oh, wow. I do this, not as often as I used to, but I had no idea about this. I don’t expect total forgiveness of my sins (I’m not a saint) but I find knowing how pleasing it is to Our Lord encouraging.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

There are many times where I feel that I shouldn’t have said something, usually moaning about my boss or a colleague. Other times I can be uncharitable but to contrast when I am at home I don’t usually have the same problem.

I just wish I could stay silent but I don’t and usually make things worse.

Has anyone overcome this?

Thanks.

1. As soon as you catch yourself saying something or just entertaining uncharitable thoughts ask, “Jesus, have mercy on me a sinner.”
2. Accept that mercy.
3. In turn, offer that mercy to the person that was the subject of uncharitable words or thoughts.

Some encouragement:

My daughter, if I demand through you that people revere My mercy, you should be the first to distinguish yourself by this confidence in My mercy. I demand from you deeds of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve yourself from it (Diary, 742).

I am giving you three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the first by deed, the second by word, the third by prayer. In these three degrees is contained the fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof of love for Me. By this means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy (Diary, 742).

 

[friardchips]

How about each time you feel tempted to say something you may regret you instead use it as an opportunity to pray…even if its literally a few words,…if you get into the habit of doing that then your natural reaction to someone annoying/frustrating you will be to pray for them rather than blurt something out …plus the added benefit is you will cram extra prayers into your day which will draw you closer to God and bring down graces and blessing upon you and those who you are praying for…its win-win

• this seems to be great advice. Great post.

St. Louis De Montford write about such things too. It is hard not to come back with something at times we feel on the defensive. Another good read, Nelka, is St. Faustina’s Diary as this saint expresses the extents to which people can suffer in silence (prayer) - they can be offered up as little crosses (I’m actually terrible with not complaining ) - totally in accordance with Crystal Water’s post.

 

[littlestsouls2]

Oh, wow. I do this, not as often as I used to, but I had no idea about this. I don’t expect total forgiveness of my sins (I’m not a saint) but I find knowing how pleasing it is to Our Lord encouraging.

It’s very encouraging. The same theme - i.e. how easy it is to please Our Lord - is found all throughout the writings of St. Gertrude. It’s so healthy and optimistic to focus on such things. Ven. Louis de Blois imbibed the “spirit” of St. Gertrude by reading her revelations a few times every year.

Good advice, too, by the way

 

[CRATUS]

There are many times where I feel that I shouldn’t have said something, usually moaning about my boss or a colleague. Other times I can be uncharitable but to contrast when I am at home I don’t usually have the same problem.

I just wish I could stay silent but I don’t and usually make things worse.

Has anyone overcome this?

Thanks.

Keep a diary. Lol. Keep silent. Maybe talk out all your negativity physically. You are not required to like everyone. Just try to stay positive.

 

[lilpoppie]

Tl;dr. Don’t worry. I hate me too. So does everyone else. Just get drunk and bounce uo and down until a clown starts making smacking sounds at you