How do I convince my parents to allow me to marry a non-catholic girl, whom I dearly love?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ReoDoem
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No… I just know that people from France and Spain have come for it in weeks past
 
It’s a cultural thing.
You don’t need permission to marry her, but if you want peace within the family you need to take a long hard look at their concerns and be able to answer them to their satisfaction if you want their blessing.
You say YOU would raise the children Catholic, but I’m sure they want to know what the mother of these children wants. The TWO of you need to talk to your parents, and your priest and probably her parents as well.
Lay all the expectations on the table.
See what is feasible and reasonable. And doable.
 
Pianistclare reminded me of a girlfriend who was raised in the church. She married a non-believer, in the Catholic church. He promised that the children would be raised Catholic for the wedding but when the kids came, Catholic stuff started to be put to the side. My friends reply was that the kids are half his, and he says no. They are adult now and are far from the church. Having one parent that considered Catholic teaching to be fairy tales impacted the kids. We shouldn’t be surprised that it’s hard to hold a teaching, like go to church on Sundays, when one parent can’t be bothered.

The children will be half hers. Many Catholics have felt pressured to put the faith to the side in order to ‘keep peace in the family’. Is that how it will play out in your marriage?

Set your house on a foundation of Christ because when the storm comes and the wind blows, and it will come, there will be great loss unless it is built on the rock that is Christ.
 
I’ve seen a couple of posts say the same as you, Augustinian, so don’t think I’m picking on you, but I don’t agree the OP should be trying to convert his girlfriend. Certainly if they are going to raise children Catholic, she should be knowledgeable about Catholicism, and if she marries into a Catholic family. But I don’t think the OP should be convincing her to convert. Answer any questions, invite her to Mass etc but respect where she is and her religion. If the OP can’t do that, they shouldn’t be marrying.

Indeed, the OP doesn’t want to try to “convince her to convert”, which is how it should be, IMO. I think his approach is a good one.
 
Both your and your girlfriends family will be relatives when there are children born into the marriage. In a way you marry your “mother and father in law”. If all the grandparents don’t agree or don’t want to spend time together then there will be serious problems in your marriage. Who are you going to be loyal to? Spouse, your parents and other relatives etc? The new family with husband, wife and children are not an isolated unit but part of a much larger group through relations born into and also chosen.

Another question is also what have your girlfriend’s parents said about their grandchildren being raised Catholic? How to celebrate the holidays is one of the obstacles in family life.
 
Many good responses already. I just would like to add two more topics to meditate on.

First, find out whether she is willing to be baptized and marry in the Catholic Church.

Second, allow reason, not feelings, well founded in faith, hope and charity, to guide you.
 
Lou2U said:
Indeed, the OP doesn’t want to try to “convince her to convert”, which is how it should be, IMO. I think his approach is a good one.
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Agreed. Faith is too important for marriage alone to be a good enough reason to convert. If she doesn’t accept Catholicism in her heart, it would be a bad idea to convert just to get married. It isn’t reasonable to ask someone to change their entire belief system, just to get married.
 
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