How do I convince someone to receive Sacrament of Penance after not having confessed for years?

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I’ve had theological discussions with a lapsed catholic who appears willing to participate as a Catholic once again. He claims that he has led a sinful life during the past few years. I have been trying to convince him to confess for the past few months. He continuously comes up with excuses that he needs to examine his conscience, that he wants to be contrite and sincere prior to confessing, and the latest excuse this past weekend was that he wasnt up to it due to a hangover. What can I say to this guy that will convince him to finally confess and begin going to Mass?
 
I would say that it was time to ‘Let go and let God’. In other words, you have said all you can, you have given information and encouragement, so now leave it to the Holy Spirit (i’m sure you are already praying for him).

I think there’s a danger in thinking that we can convert others by what we say or do. It is the Holy Spirit who convinces people. We must let adults be adults and make their own decisions, as they are the only decisions that have a hope of remaining permanent.
 
Not uncommon. The idea isn’t to impose your will on anyone. Only to make suggestions out of love and concern during heart to heart conversations. Prayer and to suggest they say a pray now and again, pray with them. Offer to go with them, take them, and go with them whenever those moments arrive.

They know true intentions, and will remember them. Its a fine line of someone clearly understanding where you stand, and not being over-bearing where your pushing others away. You want them to be a willing participant in their own salvation.

If you bring Gods will with you, then Gods will, will be with you. The rest is in His hands.

Peace
 
A friend/co-worker of mine recently returned to confession after 37 years.

I talked. I shared my own experiences with the sacrament. But not constantly. This was a 10 year conversation. I never let the fire go completely out, but sometimes i’d let it die down and then start fanning again. As I got farther along in my own spiritual journey, I tried to listen to the Holy Spirit with regards to when to talk and when to shut up.

I realized it wasn’t me. This was God’s work that would be accomplished in God’s time.

I invited her to Mass, and surprisingly she started attending on Sundays about a year and a half ago, without receiving Communion.

I invited her to our parish Bible Study. For both Mass and Bible Study, I figured if I got her in the door, the Holy Spirit could do the rest.

I prayed. At every Mass when there is the chance to add our own intentions in silence, she was at the top of the list.

I might have thrown in some fasting. I know there where a few Rosaries said for that intention.

Last summer I wrote her a letter just letting her know that God loved her. This was something I strongly felt the Holy Spirit telling me to do in Adoration, and I wrote the letter sitting in front of the Tabernacle a few days later. It was God’s note. I wasn’t sure how I would get it to her, but God supplied that, too. The next Sunday, we arrived at church at the same time.

I asked Jesus’ Mama for some help. This past year on the Feast of Our Lady of Kibeho, I asked specifically for this person and another to return “home”.

I gave her a little booklet about confession, and when she asked what she owed me, I told her “just go”.

About 2 weeks later…she said she needed to talk to “that man” (our priest) before Christmas. Something was telling her too.

I calmly asked what I could do to help. I emailed our priest and set up an appointment for her (with her blessing).

Once the appointment was made, I prayed even more. I showed her how to use my iPad and let her one of the examination of conscience apps so she could make a list.

I picked her up for the appointment and knocked on the door of the rectory for her. Our priest let me in the church and I prayed while 40 years of “stuff” was washed away.

But in the end, it’s not you who must convince the other person to go. It is the work of the Spirit. Our good priest says confession is a 2-part miracle and the first part of that miracle is God drawing us to himself and us responding.

Pray. Listen.
 
I have been told that if you have a lengthy period between your last confession you may want to visit with a Priest beforehand and discuss in general your sins and lifestyle. Being the Priest may not allow the confession to go forward for some mortal sins. This could save the humiliation.
 
I agree with everything that everyone has said. I also suggest that you wait a month or so and then ask him if he would like to come with you when you go. That way, he won’t feel alone and he will also have his space as well.
 
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