How do I cope while waiting for marriage convalidation?

[UbiCaritas]

SurlyMermaid, That’s encouraging. I had gotten and submitted the marriage certificate for the 2nd marriage which listed both of their prior marriages and divorce dates.

But it still took 2 years? I am aching inside with the thought it might take 1 year. The paperwork my husband received at his interview said it takes 6-9 months, presuming no complications or delays.

We have spoken to both Ex’s and they are very cooperative and actually supportive. We all get along, which is a blessing. My major concern is our lack of witnesses since most have passed away.

Try not to worry too much about the timeframe. In all likelihood, you and SurlyMermaid live in different dioceses, and the timeframe for each annulment process will depend on both various external factors (witness statements, processing time, etc) and by how backlogged your diocesan marriage tribunal is. If you’re in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles (to name an example of a huge diocese, not to refer to it specifically!) it’ll probably take longer than if you’re in the diocese of Middle of Nowhere, Montana, for example, just due to the volume of cases that the tribunal needs to handle.

 

[MJJean]

SurlyMermaid, That’s encouraging. I had gotten and submitted the marriage certificate for the 2nd marriage which listed both of their prior marriages and divorce dates.

But it still took 2 years? I am aching inside with the thought it might take 1 year. The paperwork my husband received at his interview said it takes 6-9 months, presuming no complications or delays.

We have spoken to both Ex’s and they are very cooperative and actually supportive. We all get along, which is a blessing. My major concern is our lack of witnesses since most have passed away.

If the exes are helpful that will go a long way toward getting the annulments finished. It’s much easier when the ex is willing to answer the questionnaires and willing to help try to locate any possible witnesses that may still be living and willing to help.

I am also awaiting an annulment. Unfortunately, two of my five witnesses agreed to answer the questionnaire and then backed out after it was sent. One is just lazy and the other has turned into a raving alcoholic. I don’t have any other witnesses as the marriage was 20 years ago and either I cannot find witnesses or they have passed away. When I spoke with my pastor, he said it is possible to use character references in cases where witnesses are impossible to locate or will not help. Have you spoken to your Tribunal and asked if there is an alternative available to you, too?

 

[seekingpeace62]

If the exes are helpful that will go a long way toward getting the annulments finished. It’s much easier when the ex is willing to answer the questionnaires and willing to help try to locate any possible witnesses that may still be living and willing to help.

I am also awaiting an annulment. Unfortunately, two of my five witnesses agreed to answer the questionnaire and then backed out after it was sent. One is just lazy and the other has turned into a raving alcoholic. I don’t have any other witnesses as the marriage was 20 years ago and either I cannot find witnesses or they have passed away. When I spoke with my pastor, he said it is possible to use character references in cases where witnesses are impossible to locate or will not help. Have you spoken to your Tribunal and asked if there is an alternative available to you, too?

We’re right at the point of reviewing the transcript of the interview and submitting our list of witnesses. My husband is going to call the Case Instructor this week to ask her advice on witnesses.

He was only able to come up with 1 for his first marriage and they want 6. As fate would have it, that one witness was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last month and now we don’t feel we can list him because he’s got enough on his plate with that.

I’ll have my husband ask her about character references. Thank-you.

 

[seekingpeace62]

Try not to worry too much about the timeframe. In all likelihood, you and SurlyMermaid live in different dioceses, and the timeframe for each annulment process will depend on both various external factors (witness statements, processing time, etc) and by how backlogged your diocesan marriage tribunal is. If you’re in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles (to name an example of a huge diocese, not to refer to it specifically!) it’ll probably take longer than if you’re in the diocese of Middle of Nowhere, Montana, for example, just due to the volume of cases that the tribunal needs to handle.

That’s a very good point. I live in a small town, although the Diocese is in a larger city that covers a lot of territory. However, it’s not nearly as big as LA or any of the major cities.

It was explained to us that a lot depends on how many are ahead of us in the queue, and I don’t think they’re able to divulge the details on that. They’re also down 1 person in the Tribunal. Hopefully, the Bishop will appoint someone soon.

 

[AnneTeresa]

I am sorry to hear of your difficulties. My situation was similar to yours , I ended up in extreme anxiety over it. All I can say is to keep praying and seeking God.

For me the rosary and adoration helped. I did receive communion after talking to my priest though so that helped a lot but I could not get rid of the anxiety until it was all settled.

God bless you, I will pray for you.

BTW my husbands previous marriage was 40 years ago so witnesses were a big problem. They told us to get anyone who knew him who was still living. One was a member of his ex wife’s family! And he only had two total. I mention this to give you some hope.

 

[MJJean]

We’re right at the point of reviewing the transcript of the interview and submitting our list of witnesses. My husband is going to call the Case Instructor this week to ask her advice on witnesses.

He was only able to come up with 1 for his first marriage and they want 6. As fate would have it, that one witness was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last month and now we don’t feel we can list him because he’s got enough on his plate with that.

I’ll have my husband ask her about character references. Thank-you.

If it were me I would ask the friend anyways. The questionnaire can be lengthy and involved. People with illnesses often need a break from their troubles. They want to be distracted and they want to do something other than think about their disease. In a way, helping with the annulment could help this friend.

Have you and your husband gone through old photos and such from the weddings? Maybe ask the ex wives to go through those things, too? Sometimes we forget that we were once close to certain people. Maybe going through memorabilia will trigger memories and other witnesses could be found.