Rather than worrying at this point about whether or not your son should receive Communion, perhaps you should instead focus on the more immediate issues that your son has both betrayed your trust (by using the technology you gave him for illicit purposes) and become involved in an activity that has the potential to warp his sexual development and his view of women.
What this should suggest is that the first order of business should be that you and your spouse should be talking to your son about what you found. Explain to him that such personal technology devices are not the private domain of a minor child, but belong to the family, and that is why you checked his usage. Now you have found that he has compromised the trust you and your spouse placed in him to use the device responsibly. Since he has demonstrated that he cannot be trusted to use the iTouch responsibly, that means that you and your spouse will both limit his future access and check even more frequently on what usage he is allowed until such time as he re-earns your trust.
As for the porn, your son’s father should take the lead in discussing this with your son, if possible. Catholic psychologist Gregory K. Popcak has noted that one effective way of “ruining” the pleasure of porn for a youngster is to encourage him to consider what must have happened to the women in those pictures to make it possible for them to display themselves in that way. Could they have been abused? Could they have been treated badly by the people who took the photos? Could they be in desperate circumstances, which made this seem like the only way they could survive? And, most importantly, if these women are victims then hasn’t the person who views their pictures for reasons of lust also become someone who is exploiting and abusing them?
Yes, your son should go to confession. He should refrain from receiving the Eucharist until he has gone to confession. But to focus on those canonical consequences when there are far more immediate concerns that must be addressed risks the kind of legalistic approach to religion that Jesus warned against (cf.
Mark 7:1-8).
Recommended reading:
Beyond the Birds and the Bees by Gregory K. Popcak
