How do I deal with a mean pro-lifer?

[knitandpray]

I have a friend who is Catholic. I’m Baptist. We met at a pro-life rally and since then we participate together in pro-life activities. Recently, she has become really abusive with her language toward the patients when we go to Planned Parenthood offices and such as that. She shouts things to the women like, “Do you hear your baby cry?” … and sometimes even worse than that. This is a real “turn off” for me and is not what I participate for. I’m considering telling her that I just don’t want to be seen with her at these rallies. I understand and respect her beliefs on abortion, but this just seems so out of character for someone who is religious. What should I do?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

If there is anyone who organizes these events, you might speak with that person and ask him or her to talk to your friend, emphasizing to her the importance of a respectful, prayerful witness at these events. Perhaps such counsel, coming from someone with a position of leadership in the group, will enable your friend to accept it as dispassionate counsel rather than as a reprimand from a friend.

If it is just you and she who attend these vigils, or if there is no clear leader of the group, you might gently tell your friend that such abusive language can harden these women in their decision to abort, if only to demonstrate their freedom and to spite those who are harrassing them. In other words, your friend’s harsh language can be counterproductive to her pro-life convictions and goals.

If she is unreceptive to counsel, either from a group leader or from you, I can only recommend that your friend be excluded from future vigils. Either the group leader will have to kindly but firmly disallow her participation with your group (insisting, for example, that she not stand with your group at the vigils) or you will have to find other friends with which to hold vigils at different locations.

I do want to implore you though not to be tempted to attribute this woman’s behavior to her Catholicism. That she is Catholic is not relevant to the fact that she is behaving obnoxiously.