How do i deal with cousin (i was his confirmation sponsor) who no longer attends Mass

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blaskoman

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My cousin recently “came out” as a practicing homosexual. I expressed my displeasure during this family announcement. He responded proudly that he wasn’t going to abstain from gay sex. As his confirmation sponsor I feel it is my duty to continue being his spiritual guide. On the few occasions I’ve prodded him to attend Mass, he responded quite negatively, bordering on verbal hostility. How would u handle such situation if in my shoes?
 
He knows where you stand on the issue, so I’m not sure how harping on it will help. He’s certainly not likely to go to mass, because he sees God as an obstacle to his identity. You probably want to educate yourself about the issue, so that you don’t say anything that could be easily misunderstood. It is going to be an issue you have to feel out. You want to make *him *feel loved and accepted, without loving and accepting his sin.

It would be good to remember that God certainly has the power to move in a person’s life, even if that person is immersed in the homosexual lifestyle. We just need to make sure that we’re working with God on this, not working against Him. So the key thing is not to alienate your cousin. If you do, his pride will be an even bigger wall between the two of you.
 
blaskoman said:
My cousin recently “came out” as a practicing homosexual. I expressed my displeasure during this family announcement. He responded proudly that he wasn’t going to abstain from gay sex. As his confirmation sponsor I feel it is my duty to continue being his spiritual guide. On the few occasions I’ve prodded him to attend Mass, he responded quite negatively, bordering on verbal hostility. How would u handle such situation if in my shoes?
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He has free will, and is not open to the Faith at this time.

I would drop it.
 
1ke said:
He has free will, and is not open to the Faith at this time.

I would drop it.
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This. Continuing to prod him will only push him further away from the Church. Pray for him, and make sure he knows you love him, even though not his lifestyle.
 
Pray, hope, and don’t worry.
-Padre Pio

Praying for you and your cousin!
 
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:6-7

Just read this and thought of you! Blessings to you!
 
It’s not your job to fix things…just pray for him. If it were me I would make sure my Christmas and birthday cards had a religious theme, I would do my best to set a good example, and trust that God will enlighten him at some point in his journey.
 
My sponsor became an atheist, so I ended up having to pray for him.
 
As his confirmation sponsor, I feel that I have a moral obligation to continue to be his guide in the faith. Maybe its prudent to give my cousin space for a while. Will revisit the Mass issue next Christmas
 
God Bless you for your dedication to your important role in his life as sponsor! As a Confirmation Catechist at my home parish I am delighted to see this role taken seriously.

Please know that your moral obligation to be an exemplary Catholic IS best served by NOT “nagging” him. You are fulfilling, not shirking, your duty in following the above advice. He has responded with hostility. The next time will not go better. Communication is about more than sending the message - it is about the receipt. If you “nag”, he will be strengthened in his misguided belief that God and the church want nothing more to do with him, and that Catholics are rules-oriented robots. Now of course we know that’s not true, but the goal is for him to know it!

Think, brother, how Christ approached us. When we were dead in sin, He could righteously have pointed out all the many ways we fail Him each day. But he did not… He came gently, peacefully, as a baby, LIVED His example, loved and served.

THIS is the way to your wayward cousin’s heart… love him, serve him, do not shun him (did not our Lord Himself eat dinner with sexual sinners - prostitutes? How many prostitutes would have stayed near Him if He spent the time pointing out all their flaws? No, friend, He let people be drawn in by His light and love, and then, when near enough, He lead by example).

Prayers to you that you will have the strength to do the same!
 
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