how do I deal with this?

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It has ben a long time since I have been to confession. I am guessing 18 years. I have been desparatly trying to become closer to Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. I have been reading quite a bit about the Catholic religion to become more aware and build my faith. I realize on of the biggest things that I need to do is to get to Confession and make a habit of keeping that up along with my other Catholic duties. No problem. I look forward to it and can’t wait to go as it will bring me closer to Him. My problem is I am frightened of one of my sins because I am not sure if I am honestly sorry for it. I went to church by myself this morning to ask Jesus what to do about it. I asked “how should I handle this?”

The sin is as follows:

On two occaisions around 1999/2000, I had sex with my girlfriend at the time and did so without a condom. I was very nervous as was she & I can’t remember exactly who thought of it but I will say that both of us agreed that it was a good idea to call her doctory and get a prescription for the Morning after pill. (below is a link to the Vatican’s stance on it). I was young and dumb and at the time was not as focused at being a Catholic and the sin that I was comitting. I believe it happened a few months later and we did the same thing. I think at the time we didnt think that it was any different than the birth control pills that she was on. I think when those situations occurred it was on days when she forgot to take her normal birth control pill. We just new that we were young and thought " Man, we can’t chance having a baby, we are not responsible enough" so not enough thought was put into it.
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O.K.  So that is the Sin and I can honestly say right now that no matter what I will never , ever use that type of Pill ever again.  If my wife and I are not planning anymore kids and we have a slip up where I forget to use protection, we will deal with what happens.  I now completely believe that Abortion is wrong....  However,  how can I go to Confession and tell of these 2 times(That I remember) , that I took part in her taking the Morning after Pill and How can I  say I am sorry for those times and be properly Forgiven by God if I am pretty sure that it was the right decision at the time?  Although I will never do it again ever, I can't get myself to believe that it was wrong for me to do it back then because my life would have changed so dramatically!  I keep going over the “What if's” and they scare me out of thinking that I did something wrong.  For instance, What if I did somehow get her pregnant one of those times & ended up Marrying her and never get the chance to meet the Love of my Life (Tracey) and have my children which I care about more than anything in the world?  I cannot stand the thought of having life without them.  I want to be sorry for what I did, but I keep thinking if I had the chance I would not have changed any decisions if it meant I would not be where I am today?  Am I goin to Hell for this?  I could Lie and say that I feel bad about taking part in her taking that pill, but I am not sure I can convince myself in my head that I would have not taken it.  This situation is killing me inside.  I can say that I am sorry I ever put myself in that position to have to take the pill, but I God will know what I think in my head deep down.

I think there are more people like me out there that have probably confessed to similar things that also happened in my Single life of the past: I have had Premarital Sex with Girlfriends in the past and I will have to confess to that as well.  But honestly?  That also made me who I am today in some way shape or form, be it the experience or whatever & I am not sure if I had the chance to change that, that I would change it..  With all of these questions, I just want to know how to handle them.  I refuse to lie even in my head, so how can I learn to feel sorry for these sins and really feel it?  I keep saying to myself that I feel sorry for them, but somewhere in my head , my conscience whispers to me that I am lying if I say I am sorry. I am afraid that I will pay for it when I die and am scared.
vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_academies/acdlife/documents/rc_pa_acdlife_doc_20001031_pillola-giorno-dopo_en.html
 
You have to pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you. Using contraception is also a sin as well as pre-marital sex. (Do a search on NFP, this is the approved method) Those two things you have to confess as well. Also, the number of times when its a mortal sin.

You need to examine your conscience, think about what you did over the past years, and look at the 10 commandments especially, and confess sins you have commited. Not going to church on Sunday, recieving the Eucharist without going to confession, etc.
 
Just go to confession and explain what you said here. You obviously are rationalizing why you thought that it was a good idea at the time but now you know that those were wrong choices. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is effective with imperfect contrition. That means that even though you are not feeling profound sorrow and can even still have attachmnents to those sins, they will be forgiven. Just go to confession and mention all of those things that you can remember and that you know were offensive to God even if your thoughts seem otherwise. It is necessary, however, to have a firm purpose of amendment. This means that you are going to do whatever is in your power to not commit these sins again. And if you do through weakness or other circumstances then God is willing to forgive you again in the Sacrament.

You casually mentioned that you and your wife are using “protection”. You should seek counsel on this matter because it also goes against Church teachings and there are alternative methods to space your children that are not contrary to the will of God. God bless you and keep up the good fight. God loves you. You have nothing to fear… teachccd
 
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