M
max_browndog
Guest
It has ben a long time since I have been to confession. I am guessing 18 years. I have been desparatly trying to become closer to Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. I have been reading quite a bit about the Catholic religion to become more aware and build my faith. I realize on of the biggest things that I need to do is to get to Confession and make a habit of keeping that up along with my other Catholic duties. No problem. I look forward to it and can’t wait to go as it will bring me closer to Him. My problem is I am frightened of one of my sins because I am not sure if I am honestly sorry for it. I went to church by myself this morning to ask Jesus what to do about it. I asked “how should I handle this?”
The sin is as follows:
On two occaisions around 1999/2000, I had sex with my girlfriend at the time and did so without a condom. I was very nervous as was she & I can’t remember exactly who thought of it but I will say that both of us agreed that it was a good idea to call her doctory and get a prescription for the Morning after pill. (below is a link to the Vatican’s stance on it). I was young and dumb and at the time was not as focused at being a Catholic and the sin that I was comitting. I believe it happened a few months later and we did the same thing. I think at the time we didnt think that it was any different than the birth control pills that she was on. I think when those situations occurred it was on days when she forgot to take her normal birth control pill. We just new that we were young and thought " Man, we can’t chance having a baby, we are not responsible enough" so not enough thought was put into it.
vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_academies/acdlife/documents/rc_pa_acdlife_doc_20001031_pillola-giorno-dopo_en.html
The sin is as follows:
On two occaisions around 1999/2000, I had sex with my girlfriend at the time and did so without a condom. I was very nervous as was she & I can’t remember exactly who thought of it but I will say that both of us agreed that it was a good idea to call her doctory and get a prescription for the Morning after pill. (below is a link to the Vatican’s stance on it). I was young and dumb and at the time was not as focused at being a Catholic and the sin that I was comitting. I believe it happened a few months later and we did the same thing. I think at the time we didnt think that it was any different than the birth control pills that she was on. I think when those situations occurred it was on days when she forgot to take her normal birth control pill. We just new that we were young and thought " Man, we can’t chance having a baby, we are not responsible enough" so not enough thought was put into it.
Code:
O.K. So that is the Sin and I can honestly say right now that no matter what I will never , ever use that type of Pill ever again. If my wife and I are not planning anymore kids and we have a slip up where I forget to use protection, we will deal with what happens. I now completely believe that Abortion is wrong.... However, how can I go to Confession and tell of these 2 times(That I remember) , that I took part in her taking the Morning after Pill and How can I say I am sorry for those times and be properly Forgiven by God if I am pretty sure that it was the right decision at the time? Although I will never do it again ever, I can't get myself to believe that it was wrong for me to do it back then because my life would have changed so dramatically! I keep going over the “What if's” and they scare me out of thinking that I did something wrong. For instance, What if I did somehow get her pregnant one of those times & ended up Marrying her and never get the chance to meet the Love of my Life (Tracey) and have my children which I care about more than anything in the world? I cannot stand the thought of having life without them. I want to be sorry for what I did, but I keep thinking if I had the chance I would not have changed any decisions if it meant I would not be where I am today? Am I goin to Hell for this? I could Lie and say that I feel bad about taking part in her taking that pill, but I am not sure I can convince myself in my head that I would have not taken it. This situation is killing me inside. I can say that I am sorry I ever put myself in that position to have to take the pill, but I God will know what I think in my head deep down.
I think there are more people like me out there that have probably confessed to similar things that also happened in my Single life of the past: I have had Premarital Sex with Girlfriends in the past and I will have to confess to that as well. But honestly? That also made me who I am today in some way shape or form, be it the experience or whatever & I am not sure if I had the chance to change that, that I would change it.. With all of these questions, I just want to know how to handle them. I refuse to lie even in my head, so how can I learn to feel sorry for these sins and really feel it? I keep saying to myself that I feel sorry for them, but somewhere in my head , my conscience whispers to me that I am lying if I say I am sorry. I am afraid that I will pay for it when I die and am scared.