How do I explain my pregnant daughter to her younger sisters?

[mickycat]

Our oldest daughter is 20 years old, pregnant, and currently lives with her boyfriend. Our other daughters are 8 and 10 years old. They have no idea of their elder sister’s current situation, yet. I am so lost. We attend Mass Sundays and the two youngest attend catechism class. We have always said children are a gift from God through marriage.

How do I explain this situation to these two innocent girls? We are heartbroken about our daughter’s situation as it is, but want to ensure we discuss this in the best light possible with the younger ones. Any help would be more appreciated than anyone knows!

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Unless you gave your daughters the impression that unmarred women cannot physically become pregnant, I don’t think you have as big of a problem as you seem to fear. Just say, “Your sister is expecting a baby [insert time frame].” If the issue of her marital status arises, you need merely say, “You’re right, Jenny isn’t married. We’re not happy about that because she should have waited until she was married to become pregnant. But we are happy about the baby and look forward to its arrival.”

If it is protested that you said, “But you said children are a gift from God through marriage,” give the child a stern look – to discourage any temptation the children might have to “outsmart Mama” by turning this situation into a word game – and say, “Yes, dear, they are. When a man and woman obey God and wait for marriage to become pregnant, a child is God’s gift to them through their marriage. But if a man and woman disobey God and become pregnant outside of marriage, the child is still a gift from God but does not have the security of a traditional family. That means we’ll have to be extra loving to this child when he or she arrives.”

As for your eldest daughter, I strongly suggest that you talk to her about the necessity of maintaining discretion around her younger sisters about her living arrangements. If she either cannot or will not do so, you may have to limit their exposure to her.

Recommended reading:

Beyond the Birds and the Bees by Gregory K. Popcak